Chapter 13 #3
He watched me, brows narrowed.
I slid the fork between my lips.
Then, his eyes widened, and he vaulted from the chair. One second, I was seated. The next, I was pressed against a wall, one of Dez’s hands around my neck.
The room went completely silent.
The hand around my neck shook, Dez’s eyes wild and more watery than I’d ever seen them, the rims slowly transitioning to red. He breathed so hard that I heard every inhale and exhale.
He probed my mouth with his index and middle finger, the grip around my neck making it impossible to swallow.
With a flick, he scooped out the slice.
The mush went sailing to the ground.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he whispered, his voice as unsteady as his hand.
Before I could answer, he plucked me off the wall, carried me with one arm, and stormed out of the room.
No one called out to try to stop him, and we marched until we reached his apartment, where he burst inside and headed straight for the bathroom.
There, he leaned me over the sink, returned those two fingers to my mouth, and stuck them so far back toward my throat, I gagged.
“Did you swallow any of it?” He probed again. “Tapley, answer me.”
“No, none,” I croaked.
He released me.
I slumped to the floor in front of the vanity, and he backed up until he was pressed against the bathroom door, the wildness still in his eyes.
The weight of what I’d done crashed down on me. Violent tears followed. “I…I overheard…” I shook my head. “The pie…it’s poisoned.”
He said nothing.
I could barely see him, my vision blurred.
“Downstairs, I heard that the pie was poisoned,” I tried again. “It was for someone in the conference room. I knew you guys were having a meeting, and then they said 720. I knew then it was for you.”
Still, he didn’t comment.
“That’s why I,” I sniffed, “picked the fight. I was hoping you’d call me upstairs.
I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but Dez, I knew you couldn’t ingest that poison.
Not after everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve done for me.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate you and how you’ve cared for me.
That’s not it, I swear, but the thought of you not being here… ”
My head fell.
The tears on my dress collected to form a large wet spot.
“Tapley,” he quietly called.
I looked up, and he’d gone from the door to kneeling in front of me.
“Tapley, I live in 722.”
I swallowed and swiped at my eyes with the heel of my palm. “What?”
“I don’t live in 720. I live in 722. And Mae has a system for the way she sends up my food. It’s so I know it’s from her, know it’s safe.”
“So, you’ll be okay?”
He searched my eyes. “Sweetheart, what the hell were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Clearly.”
“What was I supposed to do?” I asked, harsher than intended. “Was I supposed to let you die? I’m not doing that, Dez. I’m never doing that.”
“Do you think I want you to die? Larke, I…” His voice broke, and he momentarily closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, the rims had reddened even deeper.
“I fucking love you, Larke. There’s nothing here for me without you.
And I don’t mean here, at Totten. I mean here, in this life.
I’m living for you. Just for you. Only for you. Killing yourself? It’ll kill me too.”
Before I could respond, his mouth came down hard on mine, and he snatched me up off the floor.
In only a few steps, I was on my back on his bed.
I cradled both sides of his face, our breaths going from fear to pleasure.
Terror to peace. No one was dying, so we could take this moment and have it to ourselves. In this space, all time belonged to us.
“I’m sorry, Tapley.” He kissed my neck, my collarbone, my shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you.”
I kissed whatever part of him I could reach—temple, eyelids, the bridge of his nose, the tip of his forehead. I licked the salt from his tears from my lower lip.
“Make what up to me?”
He backed away and tugged on the tights.
As he tugged, I shoved my panties down to my ankles.
I only managed to get one foot out, but one foot was all I needed.
Then, I rose to my knees and pulled him back toward me, sucking on and flicking my tongue along his lips.
Our fingers scraped, and our hands bumped as we worked on his belt.
The clicks, followed by the hiss from his zipper, sent a pulse directly between my legs.
We shoved down his pants, and I wrapped my fingers around the thick column of his shaft. We sighed at the same time, and I journeyed to the tip and used my thumb to spread the moisture there along his head.
Without breaking the kiss, he grabbed my wrists, nudged me back to the mattress, joined our fingers above my head, and massaged my clit with his erection. Every moment leading up to this one was foreplay, so I was ready for him the moment his hot skin met mine.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Sorry for what?”
“Need you.”
He entered me with one slow thrust.
I held my breath, acclimating to the size and feel of him.
As he pulled out and surged again, I raised my hips. Our bodies rotated together, first gentle, learning and catching each other’s rhythm.
Then, our movements grew frenzied.
Desperate.
I’d never been fucked to the point that I couldn’t form words. With Dez, I turned into a feline, pulling out of his grasp only to cling to him and scrape my fingernails along his back.
I knew he would feel good.
I didn’t expect him to feel this good.
“Ah, fuck…” He leaned back, bent my leg, and pushed it toward my chest, driving so deep that I cried out. “Larke, I knew we’d be like this. I fucking knew it.”
Dream Dez called me Larke, but this was real. His declaration was real. We knew now what we meant to each other—almost. I still had to respond, to let him know how I felt and had felt for much longer than these last few moments.
“Dez, I love you too, baby. God, I love you too.”
He grunted.
Hissed.
Moaned so deep, I felt it in my chest.
And that moan sent me over the edge.
“Dez, I think I’m coming. I think I might actually be coming. I usually…don’t come…from dick alo—oh, fuck.”
A rush of ecstasy purer than a cartel’s stash exploded throughout my entire body.
He tensed and let out another deep moan as he came inside me, breathing hard with each pulse.
We remained locked in place until we were no longer a tangle of convulsing limbs and erratic heartbeats.
I didn’t know all what Dr. Lin kept in his stash by way of birth control, but if this was the dick that I was to expect, I was going to need something.
Dez, twitching every so often as if hit by a pleasurable aftershock, lowered and brushed his nose along my jaw. Then, I felt him exhale against my neck.
“Tapley, don’t you ever do that shit again, you hear me? Ever.” Quieter, he added, “Don’t leave me here without you, baby. Please…don’t leave me here without you.”