Chapter 13
SAVAGE
When I pick up Aurora and start carrying her through the compound, let’s just say Claire and I attract some stares.
“Claire!” Stella’s full-volume shout stops us both in our tracks.
Blade, our club treasurer, is sitting at the bar making googly eyes at Stella while she sips something out of a mega cup covered in sparkles.
She comes bouncing around the bar, waddles up to us on huge heels, and squeals.
“A new home, a fresh start.” She pulls Claire into a hug and looks her deep in the eyes.
“Don’t be a stranger. You have my number.
You need anything.” She flicks a look at me holding Aurora.
“Except babysitting. When she’s old enough for makeup and boys, I’m your gal.
But anything else—” she kisses Claire loudly on the cheek “—you call.”
Claire nods and rocks Stella back and forth in a hard hug. “Thank you,” she breathes against Stella’s heavily sprayed hair.
I get stares from some of my brothers, including Blade, but Viper comes up to us as we’re nearing the door. He looks me over and shakes his head, but then he claps a hand on my shoulder.
“See you later?” he asks.
I’m not sure what he means by that, so I don’t say much. Viper ain’t one for kids and families, so I’m sure he assumes that after Phantom and Shadow, I’ll be the next to fall.
“Catch you later,” I say, but I don’t say any more. I’ll be back. I just don’t know yet when that will be.
Shadow comes in the door just as we’re heading out. “Hey, glad I caught you.” He holds out a gift bag that’s purple and overstuffed with shit. “Books,” he explains, holding it out to Claire. “Mostly for Aurora. Violet sent these as a little housewarming gift.”
Claire looks at the bag and then at Shadow, and she steps up to the man, rising on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Please tell her thank you.” She shakes her head. “You’ve all done so much. Thank you, Shadow.”
Shadow looks at me, then narrows his eyes. He waves off Claire’s thanks with a hand. “I’ll be seeing you,” he says, then stumbles past me, giving me one more long look.
I don’t care how it looks, me carrying Claire’s kid. She’s got her arms full, and fuck, the baby wanted me. But it doesn’t mean anything. It sure doesn’t mean anything to me—at least, that’s what I tell myself.
We head over to my pickup truck, where Tank’s moving the car seat into the back seat. After he’s done, he comes up to me and takes little Aurora’s arm in his and slightly slaps her hand against his palm. “High five, baby doll.”
Aurora laughs hysterically, a belly-jiggling, dimple-making laugh, and Claire gives Tank a hug.
“You call me anytime,” he says. “This guy’s paying for my gas, so I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”
“All right, fuck off with the long goodbyes,” I growl, but I can’t help feeling warm inside.
Claire’s made an impression around here—and not just on me.
She’s quiet but has come into her own. She’s healed and changed in the time she’s been with us, and I’m feeling grateful as fuck for the family I have that stood behind her while she was at her lowest. It’s what this brotherhood is supposed to be. It’s who we are.
We’re trouble and we’re not exactly squeaky-clean, but we’re a family.
The words stick in my throat, but I’m even more shocked when Claire climbs into the passenger seat beside me.
“She’ll be okay alone?” I ask, widening my eyes and looking back at Aurora.
“Yeah,” Claire assures me. “It’s a short ride. I gave her some toys. She’ll be fine.”
When she straps herself in and looks at me out of the corner of her eye, I can’t stop feeling like this is my family too.
This woman, with her gorgeous new haircut, those bangs that make her eyes look even prettier, the way she crosses her legs in the passenger seat.
It’s like we’re on a date, and I have to grip the wheel with both hands to stop myself from reaching for her.
This is a move for Claire’s good. So she can get her head on straight and find a job and settle into a routine with her daughter that doesn’t include playing on the floor of a motorcycle club compound.
This is not about Claire and me.
But as I park the truck in front of my condo, it’s hard not to feel it.
I was never a guy who dreamed about my future.
I’ve always looked over my shoulder, watched for the demons that chased me every step of every day.
But now, I look at Claire beside me, the condo ahead, and the only thing I see behind me is a perfect baby with crystal-blue eyes and a dimpled smile that can break down your walls.
I shake my head and turn off the engine. “Welcome home,” I say, the double meaning of my words making my voice thick.
Claire hugs her arms around herself and takes a deep breath. “Welcome home to you too. This will always be your home, even if it’s cluttered with a lot more clothes, toys, and dirty diapers.”
“Speaking of,” I say, “when do kids start using the toilet?”
Claire laughs and shakes her head. “It’s gonna be a while,” she says.
Then she turns in her seat and looks at Aurora. “Baby, you ready?”
“Mama.”
I let myself out of the truck and grab the last of Claire’s bags. She unbuckles the baby seat and brings Aurora in the carrier, while I grab the base so she can put it in any car she needs it in the next time she gets a ride someplace.
Every step up to the front door feels huge, like I’m walking into a wild, uncertain future. I’m nervous. I won’t lie. I promised to protect her, and now she’ll be under her own roof. And the idea that she’s not just down the hall anymore sends my guts into a tailspin.
I have to shake it off, though, so I hand her the keys and watch as she unlocks the door. She shoves the door open and walks in, then looks back to see why I’m not following.
I give her a grin. “Can I come in?”
She plays along, shaking her head as if she’s thinking about it. “Hm, I don’t normally let strange men into my place, but I’ll make an exception.” She lowers her voice and pretends to cover one of Aurora’s ears. “Because you have such a nice ass.”
I laugh and follow her in, and I lock the door behind me. We spend about half an hour setting up the last of her things.
“Can you stay a while?” she asks after the books from Shadow and Violet have been put away. “I have a little tiny surprise for you.”
Something in her voice sends a shiver up the back of my spine and then down to my dick. Claire goes off to the kitchen to make dinner for Aurora, and I follow her, carrying Aurora on one hip.
“I don’t like surprises,” I tell her.
It’s the truth. But just like the day I met her—which was a huge fucking surprise, by the way—maybe I should be a little more open to the unexpected. I lean down and kiss her bare shoulder. “But maybe just this once.”
She rolls her head back toward me, and I kiss the top of her hair. Her hair smells so damned delicious, it makes my mouth water. I want to kiss her, hold her, and yet, I have to hold back. I’m giving her this place, and she needs to turn a page. Find herself and her future.
I assume that future is gonna go in a very different direction than the path I’m on.
The less messy I can make this for myself and my heart, the better.
I’m bouncing Aurora on my hip when there is a firm knock at the door. Claire turns and faces me, a wide grin on her beautiful face. I take a moment to just look at her. Really look at her. Gone are the bruises and the matted hair. The filthy clothes and the fear.
The woman before me is a vision. Someone I think—no, I know—I could learn to love. If I were the kind of man who could ever love someone.
Claire bounces past me on her bare feet to answer the door, while I grab a piece of sliced banana and hand it to Aurora.
“Looks good, kid,” I tell her. “You wanna share?”
I open my mouth, but Aurora stuffs her fingers into her mouth and chomps loudly on a banana.
“Gotta respect the appetite,” I say, nodding.
Something catches my ear, though, as I hear Claire chatting up someone in the entryway. A sudden flare of worry crests through my gut, and a protective instinct, soul-deep and pounding against the back of my ribs like a drumbeat, has me holding tighter to Aurora as I walk to the front door.
What greets me immediately are two things that my shocked brain processes at the same time.
The smell of diner food and a very familiar voice.
It comes to me through water, over years and miles and memories.
I can only hear her part of the conversation, but I can hardly make out what she’s saying over the ringing in my ears.
“Savage is here right now,” Claire is saying. “No, that’s not Savage. That kid’s name is Tank. I know, it’s cute, right? He’s a sweetheart. You’ve never met him? Why don’t you come in and meet him?”
Claire turns to me, and everything suddenly shifts into slow motion.
Val from the diner walks through Claire’s front door.
I see her white hair first, the cut so familiar after all these years.
She’s wearing real clothes, not her diner uniform.
She looks thicker, which is good. She’s put on some weight.
She’s wearing blue jeans and a light blue sweater, a pair of glasses hanging around her neck from a chain.
She takes one look at my face, the baby in my arms, and then my face again. She freezes. “Ethan?” she asks, her hands flying to her mouth.
Claire cocks her chin and looks confused. Her eyes shift from Val to me. I see recognition cross her face. She knows my real name is Ethan, and yet it’s clear she has no idea how Val knows that.
I swallow hard and make an impossible choice in the span of under a second. First, I lower my face to Aurora’s little head and kiss her lightly. Her baby hair is so soft, I almost change my mind. Is there nothing we wouldn’t do for our kids? For our parents? I can’t, though. I fucking can’t.
I walk over to Claire, pass her Aurora, and say, “I can’t fucking do this. I’m sorry, Claire. I’m sorry, Mom.”