Ashley
Thankful Tyrell had distracted me from the tears that threatened, I was determined that I would not cry. I would not be telling Tyrell that I couldn’t have children when we weren’t even dating. Technically, we weren’t anything at this point. It wasn’t information I offered easily. That conversation could wait until later—much later.
The jealousy that someone else had given him children mixed with the joy that he was a father at all made my mind a jumbled mess. “It’s been so long.”
Tyrell’s expression softened. “It’s been too long.”
Our server returned and took our orders. We never looked at the menus but ordered our usual favorites. They must still be available because she didn’t question us.
“Tell me about your twins.”
That was all it took for him to spend the next ten minutes telling me all about school, their soccer team, what each one loved and hated to eat, and that they both adored K-pop music.
I raised an eyebrow. “K-pop? Really?”
The laughter was so familiar and so magical. “Really. I think they learned about it from friends. They love to watch these Korean boy bands on YouTube. They know all the words.”
When the food was set before us, we fell into a comfortable silence. I stole little glances of Tyrell as we ate. He looked much the same, but a little more filled out, more mature. He had changed from being a boy to a man. I wondered what changes he saw in me.
“What’s been going on with you over the years? No one has been able to catch you?” He made a show of looking at my bare left hand.
“Nope. No man has ever caught my eye and held it for more than a few months. My last boyfriend was probably two years ago; but after four or five months, I realized he was just like Tanner, and I gave him the axe.” I took a bite from a still-steaming, crispy fry.
The face Tyrell made told me what he still thought of my over-the-top brother. “Oh, Tanner. I haven’t thought about him in forever.”
With a giggle, I told him about Tanner’s marriage to Morgan and how the world now revolved around Jonny. “I just try to stay in my own lane and live my best life. Maybe one day, I’ll find the right person to settle down with.”
I didn’t try to hide the look I gave him. I couldn’t. My eyes caught his, and I stared him down. He had been the one. The beat of my heart told me he still was—or at least, I wanted him to be.
His hand enveloped mine from across the table. “Oh, Ash. I’m so sorry I didn’t fight for you. I should have.”
“No, no, you were right in going to college. We were kids. We weren’t ready for a lifetime commitment back then.” The warmth of his hand on mine sent a shiver through my body.
He licked his lips and leaned forward. “Are we ready now?”
I leaned back in my seat away from him. “What do you mean?” I wanted to get to know him again, yes, but was he…
His eyes grew wide, and he snatched his hand back. “I’m sorry. That was too much. I told myself I wasn’t going to give up this time if you gave me a chance. Will you? Give me a chance again?”
A coy shrug was my only reply, and I bit into a greasy french fry that tasted like heaven. Would I give him a chance again? Oh yeah. How could I not? It’s not like we had wanted to break up when we did. I had never stopped loving Tyrell, even after all this time. He was the standard every other guy was held to, and none measured up.
“Is that a yes?”
Instinct told me to look away from him before answering, but I held his gaze. “Of course. That’s why I’m here.”
“You wanna take a walk like we used to do?” He put cash on the table and reached his hand out to me. The smile on his face told me exactly what he was thinking.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach. How many times would I feel like this with Tyrell back in my life? I felt like a schoolgirl again, staying out past my curfew and spending all my spare time with the man across from me now. Except it was broad daylight and instead of micro skirts and stilettos, I was in jeans and wedges.
Nonetheless, I took his hand and stood next to him, my eyes never leaving his. “Are you going to take me under the bridge, Mr. Harris?” That had been our favorite make out spot as kids, hiding under an old bridge near Tyrell’s neighborhood.
He wrapped his arm around me, and I could have melted right there. He leaned in and spoke low. “No, that wouldn’t be safe these days. Besides, I think we need a fresh start, don’t you?”
There was no way I was going to argue with that. I nodded, and he led the way out of Luck’s and down East Gwinnett until we got to Forsyth Park. It was a stunning park with the famous fountain, gorgeous trees, and a lovely lawn. As a local, I never thought much about going there; I was too busy going past it to stop.
As we passed through the gates, a bride walked by in her pristine white dress. Someone held her train up off the ground as a photographer rushed past to find the next perfect spot in the fading light. I stopped and watched for a moment as the photographer directed how the dress was to be fanned out and how the bride was to pose. She looked so calm and collected. I think I would have been a bundle of nerves.
“Ash?”
My head turned to Tyrell, and I shrugged. “I can’t pass up a pretty dress.”
“Then that hasn’t changed one bit.” He took me by the hand. “You should see some of the things Mom has gotten for Sami and Saffi—the biggest, puffiest dresses you’ve ever seen.”
One of my dreams had always been to have a daughter to put in frilly dresses. I would imagine it when I was in high school. Working with preschoolers, I always fawned over the girls who came to school in fancy dresses. The rainbow ones were my favorites.
Mrs. Harris still held a soft spot in my heart. She had accepted me from the get-go without question. She sobered me if I had drunk too much at a party; she gave me a talking to when I needed it; and she loved me without condition. While I knew my parents loved me, it wasn’t the same as the way Mrs. Harris had loved me.
“Oh, I bet your mom is over the moon having granddaughters. I always thought she’d be a perfect grandma.” My mother, on the other hand, wasn’t very hands-on with Jonny. She was more of a ‘seen and not heard’ type of grandmother.
Tyrell began walking in the direction of an ice cream cart. He had always had a weakness for mint chocolate chip. “You have no idea. She is so smitten, and she loves to spoil those girls. Sabra doesn’t buy them cute, little girl things. She gets them tiny versions of what she would wear.” A scowl crossed his face as he talked about the girls’ mother. Clearly, he didn’t have a good relationship with her.
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just laid my hand on his arm. His large hand covered mine, and the feeling of safety and security enveloped me.
After getting our ice cream, we found a bench to sit on. We watched people walk past with strollers, dogs, and even a pot-bellied pig on a leash. Savannah was a city like no other.
“I’m sorry if I talk about the girls too much. They’re my life outside of work.” Tyrell bit into his cone, and mint green ice cream dribbled down his fingers.
Oh, how I wanted to be the napkin to clean him up. Melted ice cream dripped off his thumb. Even in the shade, I felt the temperature rise a few degrees. “It’s fine. I love hearing about them.”
The cone crunched again. “You always did love kids. I figured you’d have some by now.”
Truth be told, I had thought that as well. I was thirty with no prospects; and even if I did have any, once I told them I couldn’t have kids, I was sure they would walk away. That’s what my mom told me would happen. “Nobody wanted a defective wife” were her exact words.
“If I had found someone to settle down with, I might have. I, um, have thought a lot about adoption, actually. If I don’t find a guy—or even if I do.” Let’s see what he did with that information.
He leaned his elbows on his knees. “Ah, you’ll find someone. Maybe you already have.” He raised an eyebrow as he looked at me.
Oh, this was going to be harder than I thought.