Chapter 18
Chapter eighteen
Hudson
Groaning, I shift my weight to find a comfortable spot in my bed. I have my heating pad on the shoulder I dislocated and a lidocaine patch on my neck. Two Ibuprofen helped with some of the stiffness, but I have a deep ache from being jerked around like a rag doll.
After a quick visit to the emergency room, Cullen and I were diagnosed with some bumps and bruises, plus a broken pinky for Cull, and then sent on our way.
I didn’t even want to go to the hospital, but my mom insisted, worried I may have hit my head again. It was over for me when Mrs. Eliza jumped in, agreeing better safe than sorry.
Cull didn’t even realize he had broken his pinky, too upset about the blown tire and the undercarriage of his truck being fucked. They are waiting to hear how much the repairs will cost to see if it is a total loss.
He loves that truck, but unfortunately, it doesn’t look good.
The accident could have been worse than it was. We could have hit a telephone pole or been thrust into traffic, and because we didn’t, I woke up today grateful to be alive.
It’s been a long time since that meant something to me, and I won’t take it for granted.
I’ve finally found the perfect spot on my mattress when Cull walks into my room.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by,” I say, scooting over to make room for him to slide in.
He kicks his shoes off and climbs in, wincing as he gets comfortable. He’s still in pajama bottoms and his favorite old t-shirt.
“I missed you, so I had Dad drop me off on his way to work.” Cull snuggles up to me, gently pulling me into his side. “Sorry I didn’t text, it didn’t even cross my mind.” He rests his head on my chest, hunkering down under my comforter.
Now this is the perfect spot.
“Did you come over just to sleep some more?” I tease.
“Wasn’t my intention, but these damn meds make me tired,” he says through a well-timed yawn.
I can’t help but snort. “Must be nice. I swear I’ve become immune because nothing seems to really help my pain. Thankfully, it’s bearable, but still.”
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him, brushing a stray hair off his forehead.
“Yeah, it is. You know how meticulous I am about my truck. I can’t believe I didn’t notice something wrong with my tire.”
I can hear the guilt in his voice, but I’ve already told him stuff happens outside of our control. He believes that about as much as I believe in aliens, which isn’t at all.
I let the subject drop because convincing Cull this isn’t his fault is a lost cause.
There is a soft knock on my door before Hadley pokes her head in. Cull scrambles to separate himself from me, but Hads puts a hand up and… waves.
“Hey, Cull! Didn’t hear you come up.” Hadley comes over and plops down on my side of the bed, her smile large.
“Uh… hey?” Cull greets back, slowly lying back down on my chest and brows drawn.
Although I’m a little surprised at Hadley’s warm welcome, I chuckle. Cull hasn’t had the chance to really see this side of Hadley lately, and his confusion is cute.
“I was just coming to check on you and to see if you needed anything?” Hads asks me.
“Okay, who are you and what did you do with Hadley Daniels?” Cull frowns.
I nudge him with my elbow. “Play nice.”
He winces from the contact. “I just want to know who snatched your sister’s body.”
The sigh I let out is heavy, my fingers crossed they don’t start snarking at each other.
Hadley has tried her best, but I don’t think Cull has fully forgiven her yet.
She sits there patiently, a kind smile playing on her lips. “I deserve that. I know I’ve apologized to you separately, but I think you deserve one together.”
“Hads, you don’t have to apologize anymore.” I grab her hand and give it a squeeze.
“But I do.” She lays her other hand on top of Cullen’s where it rests on my ribcage. He tentatively turns his hand over, letting Hadley link their fingers, completing this odd circle we’ve formed.
I wait for the insecurity to hit, but it doesn’t. Just a warmth spreading through my chest at the possibility that everyone is finally healing.
“Cullen, I loved you, but it was surface level. It was comfortable. Easy. Not… deep. I think maybe we stayed together because that’s what we thought we were supposed to do.”
Cull observes Hadley, his body slightly tense as she talks.
“I’m not trying to diminish what we had, because there was a lot of good.
I’ve just realized over these last few months that I was probably more in love with the idea of you than I was actually in love. And I think the same applies to you.”
His shoulders are still stiff, but he takes a deep breath. “Hads…”
“If I can be completely honest, I think maybe you dating me was subconsciously your way of being with Hudson.”
Cull and I both go still, him exhaling like the air was punched from his lungs.
“Hadley, I liked you for you. Not because I thought you were like Hudson. I didn’t even know I had feelings for him until you and I started to fall apart,” Cull admits.
“Our brains are funny. I think Hud can agree with that.” She gives me a sad smile.
“Our brains are stupid idiots. Crazy how they hold all our knowledge, but can be dirty, lying bastards at the same time.”
Yeah, I have some complicated feelings about the thing floating around inside my skull.
Hadley chuckles, then pushes on with what she has to say.
“I’ve said this to Hud, but I need you to hear it too, Cull.
My reaction to finding out you two were together had nothing to do with Hud being gay or you being bi.
It was a low thing for me to throw at both of you.
Even Archer. I’m sorry. I know I’ve apologized for how I treated you when you tried to tell me you were bi, but again, I’m sorry.
I just need you to know that I love and support both of you. Together.”
Silence settles over the room.
Cullen studies her for a long moment, his jaw working.
“You really put him through hell, Hadley,” he says quietly.
Hadley’s eyes drop to the floor. “I know.”
Another beat passes before Cullen sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m still pissed at you, if we’re being honest.”
Hadley lets out a watery laugh. “That’s fair.”
“But…” He glances at me before looking back at her. “You’re trying. And Hud loves you, so I guess I can make an effort too.”
Hadley’s face crumples.
Cullen immediately points at her. “Don’t make this weird.”
She laughs through her tears as Cullen sits up and pulls her into a hug.
She laughs, pulling me up by the hand to join in. We embrace each other, some of my lingering cracks sealing themselves up.
I hear sniffles, and I’m surprised to find they are coming from Cull.
“Are you crying?” I ask as we break away from the hug.
“Shut up,” he grumbles, swiping at his eyes.
“You’ve turned him into a pile of goo, Huddy,” Hadley teases.
“He’s always been a pile of goo, he just doesn’t let anyone but me see.” I lean over and kiss him, his lips damp from stray tears.
“Okay, enough about me and my soft spot for Hudson,” he grouses, pulling me back down on the bed. “Although I appreciate the apology, you didn’t come in for that.”
“Well, that’s true. I did want to see if Hud needed anything, but I also wanted to double check-something with you,” Hadley says, looking at me.
“Okay, what is it?”
“Um, I have that date with Chad today. I just wanted to make sure you were still cool with it, considering who his roommate is.” She’s twisting her fingers, the corner of her lip caught between her teeth, nervous I’ll say no.
But I want my sister to be happy, and he’s not directly linked to Heather, so I have no reason to object.
“Of course I’m cool with it. I hope you have a good time,” I tell her, smiling so she knows I’m sincere.
“Who the fuck is Chad?” Cull pipes in.
I cut a look at Cullen, a questioning brow raised.
He shoves me gently and rolls his eyes. “I’m not jealous, Hud. But seriously, who the fuck is Chad and how did he get such a douchey name?”
“Ugh, I’m so glad I broke up with you,” Hadley snarks, her eyes rolling.
Welp. That didn’t last long. Short-lived was our peace treaty.
Cullen’s mouth drops open. “Um, excuse you, but I broke it off with you.”
She scoffs. “Like I’d ever let a guy break up with me,” she replies, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. Hadley winks at Cull, then they both break out in laughter.
These two are going to make me go gray before I hit twenty-one if they keep going like this.
“Chad is short for Chadwick. He’s the guy I met at the lake over spring break. He’s roommates with Theo, Archer’s ex.”
Cullen snorts so hard he chokes. I pat him on the back to help him get his composure. “Chadwick is even worse! Hands is a much better name.”
“Hands?” Hadley and I ask together.
Cull frowns. “It’s creepy when you two do that.”
Hadley and I shrug at the exact same time, making us laugh.
“Twins are freaks. Anyway,” he continues. “I dubbed the asshole Hands because he couldn’t keep his off of you. You looked uncomfortable for most of the night.”
I glance at him.
There isn’t any judgment in his voice. If anything, he sounds uneasy.
Cullen obviously noticed things about that guy I was too drunk to pay attention to.
Hadley rolls her eyes. “I was just drunk, that’s all. He’s really nice, and he makes me feel… pretty.”
A crease forms between Cullen’s brows. “Pretty how? He asks carefully.
Hadley chews on her bottom lip. “I don’t know. Different, I guess. He has more experience, so when he compliments me, it feels bigger. Like he really sees me.”
Cull scoffs.
Hadley’s shoulders stiffen. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Cull puts a hand up and shrugs. “You’re free to do whatever you want, just—”
“Just be cautious,” I finish for him.
Cullen nods, not saying anything else.
For a second, Hadley looks ready to argue again, but some of the fight leaves her shoulders.
“I will. But he’s great, I promise!”
It sounds like she’s trying to convince herself more than us, but I decide to let it go.