Chapter 29
Chapter twenty-nine
Hudson
The ding of my community college application being submitted is both exciting and infuriating. I held out as long as I could, but the submission deadline is next week, and I don’t foresee a miracle happening where I get reaccepted into Ashbridge for this semester, if at all.
My parents said that maybe it was a blessing in disguise, that I could take the next few months off to continue my healing journey. And while I appreciate where they are coming from, I don’t want to stop life from happening.
I tried that once.
Worst mistake of my life.
Now I just want to focus on the future I can create for myself.
I open a new tab on my laptop and search different grants and loans that I could be eligible for. Although my parents can manage Hadley’s tuition and the minimal cost of community college, I don’t want to put that strain on them.
Losing my scholarship hurt so much because of how hard I worked for it.
Getting into my first-choice school was the easy part because, even though I used my good grades to take something off my parents’ plate, I truly enjoyed my classes.
A’s came easily. So while my spot at Ashbridge was earned, I didn’t have to fight for it like I did that scholarship.
It’s the most prestigious monetary award in the state. I had to do multiple interviews, submit references from teachers and coaches, show I was well-rounded in school clubs and activities… There were over two thousand applicants, and they only chose two winners.
I put my heart and soul into getting that damn scholarship.
And it was all ripped away.
My eyes close as I take a deep breath. I can’t dwell on what was or else I could spiral, and that’s the very last thing I’m going to allow myself to do.
After researching for about an hour and five loan applications pending, I log off my laptop and go downstairs.
Everyone is out of the house today, and for the first time in a long time, I feel lonely. Mom and Hadley are out shopping for her dorm room while Dad is off playing golf with Dr. Anderson.
It just makes me more eager to get out of the house and go hang with the guys.
At the party last night, Matt suggested we all get together at his house today for some soccer conditioning.
I declined at first, knowing I was going to be elbows deep in planning for community college, but after a little begging and a few well-placed kisses from Cullen, I agreed to go.
I got a little pushback when I said I’d be late though, because I wasn’t going to put off this application any longer.
My phone dings, but I don’t check the message right away. I’m sure it’s Cull telling me to hurry up.
The refrigerator is calling my name, so I make my way to the kitchen and decide to make a sandwich before I head out. I’m just getting the mayonnaise on my second slice of bread when my phone dings with another incoming message.
“Chill, Cull,” I mumble into the quiet kitchen. I told them I’d be there around noon, and it only takes ten minutes to get to Matt’s from my house.
I pull my phone from my pocket to reply. Knowing Cull, he will be a pushy fucker until I answer.
That makes me smile.
UNKNOWN: This was for you. Everything I do is for you.
“Holy shit!”
I drop my phone like it’s on fire.
Shakily, I bend down to grab it, my eyes welling with tears.
Ella’s dead stare pierces through my phone screen, her skin still pink, except for the faint hue of blue around her mouth.
My chest caves in as I fall to my knees, the picture blurring through my stream of tears.
Ella did bad things, but she didn’t deserve this.
I don’t deserve this.
A new kind of anger floods my veins, ready to burn this fuckers world to the ground.
I take a deep breath and do my counts, letting calm wash over me. Anger can fuel me, but it can’t dictate my actions.
I learned that from Cull.
His therapy is paying off at least.
I jump when my phone rings, Cullen’s ringtone slicing through the quiet in the kitchen.
My thumb hits the answer button, my shaky exhale the first thing Cull hears.
“Hud? Baby? You okay?”
My eyes scrunch closed, the picture of Ella’s dead body seared into the back of my brain.
“No. I’m not. I got—” I swallow hard, the lump in my throat almost impossible to get down. “A text. A picture of Ella after he—after he killed her.”
Cull’s breath hitches, then a growl comes down the line. “Are you okay?”
Using the back of my hand, I swipe the tears off my cheeks. “I’m fucking pissed.”
“Good. I’ll take pissed over the alternative.” His exhale is uneven. “Are you on the way? I don’t want you alone right now.”
His concern pulls a small smile out of me. “Yeah, I just need to grab my stuff then, I’m on my way.”
“Oh, that’s why I called. We just left Matt’s house.”
“Okay, where am I meeting y’all?” Standing, I slump against the counter, needing physical support.
Cull is silent for a moment before he answers. “The river.”
My jaw drops. I thought it would take Cullen much longer before he’d ever want to go back there.
“Why are you going there?”
Abandoning the sandwich I was going to make, I go back to my room to get my shoes and wallet, listening while he tells me their idea.
“We thought we could do some looking around. I don’t think Detective Dipship is actually trying, Hud. They had to have missed something at that campsite.”
For once, Cull’s recklessness may pay off. I’m pissed and fed up, and ready to reclaim the parts of me that this fucker has stolen.
“I’m in.” The words come out strong, determined. “Do you have your gun?”
I may be ready to find and pummel him, but I’m also not an idiot. The guy is obviously dangerous, and we need some sort of protection, just in case.
Cull lets out a small, incredulous laugh. “Yeah, I have it. Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”
“I’m just fed up, babe. Be careful, and I’ll see you in ten. I love you.”
He returns the "I love you" then disconnects the call.
I sit on the edge of my bed and slide my sneakers on, then reach for my wallet on my bedside table. The drawer is slightly ajar, so I shut it, then grab a cut-off tank from my dresser.
Once I’ve changed my shirt, I reach for my smart watch, but it isn’t where I left it. Remembering the cracked drawer on my nightstand, I go to see if it’s there.
But it’s not.
And neither is my hospital bracelet.
I kept it after I came home as a physical reminder of the cost of what I did. It’s something I look at every day, reminding me to give thanks to the powers that be for sparing me.
My skin prickles.
That bracelet never leaves that spot.
I turn in a slow circle, my eyes locking on different objects in my room. The cogs in my brain start to slowly come online, and I do a search looking for things I’m just now realizing I haven’t seen in weeks.
My soccer jersey is gone, and so is my favorite hoodie. The photo strip Cull and I got from a photo booth on our first date is missing from my bedside table, and so is the bottle of bubbles he gave me in the hospital.
My heart races, all the puzzle pieces coming together.
This motherfucker has been in my house.
A feral yell rips its way from my throat, anger and fear colliding into an explosion of fuck this shit.
Hurrying down the stairs, I rip my keys from the bowl where they lay, slamming the door behind me.
Cullen
“Eat leather, asshole,” Archer laughs as I undercompensate and take a soccer ball to the jaw. I dove a second too late, and now my face stings as if Hadley slapped me.
“I fucking hate being a goalie sometimes,” I complain, dropping down onto the grass and taking a long sip from my water bottle.
“Well, if you didn’t suck, you’d probably like it more,” Matt teases, crouching next to me and ruffling my hair.
I slap his hand away and growl. “I’m not a dog.”
Matt laughs, standing up and dribbling the ball between his feet.
Archer comes to sit next to me, breathing harder than he should.
“You alright? You sound like you smoke a pack a day.”
He rolls his eyes and snags my water bottle, squirting a stream of water into his mouth. “So I’ve been a little lazy this summer and haven’t kept up with my cardio. Sue me.”
I snort. “I haven’t either, but you don’t see me huffing and puffing.”
“You’re a goalie, you just stand there and look pretty while the rest of us do the hard work.”
“Fucker.” I knock my shoulder into his, and he winks at me.
Matt comes over and drops down, lifting his shirt and wiping the sweat off his face. He grabs the ball and starts passing it from hand to hand. “Any new news with Hud’s stalker?”
“Ugh, worst topic of conversation,” I mumble, reclining back on my elbows.
Matt shrugs. “You’ve not mentioned it lately. Just thought I’d ask.”
My head falls back, eyes scrunched closed against the bright afternoon sun. “We definitely ruled out Mason—even dropped the charges. But other than that, nothing. Guys a ghost.”
“Did the cops find anything at the campsite?” Archer asks, squirting another sip of water into his mouth.
“They found all kinds of shit, but nothing that was definitive. It’s clearly this guy’s home base, though.”
“What does the detective think?” Matt pushes the ball away and stretches out his legs, crossing them at the ankle.
“That asshole claims he’s doing everything he can, but I think he’s pissed we dropped the charges on Mason. He wants someone to pin this on, and his easy target just walked free.”
“I have an idea.”
My eyebrow raises in question as I wait for Matt to tell me his grand plan.
“Why don’t we go scope things out?”
My pulse pounds in my ears, the thought of going back to the bridge so soon after my meltdown not ideal. My hands start to tremble, but I shake them out to release the excess energy.
Matt throws his hands up. “Relax, dude. I just thought maybe we could be a fresh set of eyes and see if the police missed anything. Besides, the guy could have gone back since the police were there. There could be new evidence.”
“That’s a stupid idea, Matt,” Archer remarks. “What if the guy is there?”
Matt shrugs again. “What if he’s not?”
I sit and contemplate for a second. By all standards, this may be the least dumb thing I’ve done in the name of finding Hud’s stalker.
Decision made, I’m on my feet before I realize I’ve even moved. “Let’s do it. Hud is supposed to be here soon, but I’ll call and tell him to meet us there instead.”
“That’s the spirit!” Matt stands and slaps me on the back, then turns to help Archer up.
“Are we going to regret this?” Archer asks, swiping dirt off the back of his shorts.
“We’re going to the river, not off to war. Relax.”
I shake my head at their bickering and pull up Hud’s contact and hit call. The guys follow me to my car, us all piling in.
It rings twice before the line clicks, Hudson’s shuttered exhale sending alarms blaring through my head.
“Hud? Baby? You okay?”
I listen in horror as Hud explains what that psycho did. It makes me more determined to find something useful today.
“I’m in,” Hud says after I tell him where we are going. “Do you have your gun?”
My eyebrows climb to my hairline, a laugh bubbling up. “Yeah, I have it. Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”
“I’m just fed up, babe. Be careful, and I’ll see you in ten. I love you.”
I throw my car in park, dust swirling behind us from the dirt road we just came down. “I love you too.”
He ends the call, the guys already pushing out of the car. I swipe my hand under my seat and snag my gun, my heart beating hard, remembering the last time I used this thing.
Closing my eyes, I count to ten, breathing deeply to steady my racing heart. When I feel more in control, I get out of the car and walk over to where the guys are standing.
Archer smiles at me before his eyes catch on the gun, the metal glinting in the sunlight. “Holy fuck,” he shouts, pointing at my hand. “Why do you have a gun?”
“Just being cautious.”
“This was definitely a bad idea,” Archer murmurs, sighing.
Ignoring Archer's comment, I start walking. The guys follow as I lead us down the train tracks and to the woods.
Nestled just inside the tree line is an old beat-up camper, vines growing up the sides and holes rusted through the roof. It doesn’t seem like anyone is here, but I hold my gun out in front of me, just in case.
I creep towards the door, pulling it open slowly, stopping in my tracks when I see the inside. Archer steps around me and peers into the camper, taking it all in, jaw slack.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
Archer and I both whirl on Matt, my heart racing when I see the empty smile on his face.
“What the—”
Matt moves fast, ripping the gun from my grip and clocking Archer in the temple. He cocks the gun in my face before Archer can even crumple to the ground.
My hands fly out in front of me, my brain struggling to catch up. “Matt? What the hell are you doing?”
His chuckle is jagged, almost breathless, his hand twitching around my gun. “I think you know.”
A memory floods back from the night I was attacked. I remember the ski mask riding up the guy’s face, exposing his chin and mouth.
I zero in on Matt’s chin and lips, my stomach dropping out.
He tilts his head, a crooked grin stretching across his face.
“It’s you,” I gasp.
Matt shrugs, his voice hollow and uneven. “Surprise.”
He jerks back suddenly, the gun whipping down across my face.
There is a split second of searing pain.
Then darkness.