Chapter Twenty-One Olivia #2
Olivia hesitated. Even the giddiness of her laughing fit hadn’t been enough to dispel the weight that settled in her chest every night, growing heavier and heavier with each passing minute until it felt like it’d crush her bones.
“Yeah, it doesn’t really go away until dawn.
That’s when I can finally relax. Of course, that’s also when I have to get up and go to work, so that sucks. ”
“Does talking about it help?”
“Not really.” She didn’t know how to make any of those feelings word-shaped.
What if this treatment doesn’t work?
I’m worried I’ll also disappear.
How can I ask her if she’s afraid to die?
I don’t know if I can be the brave one this time.
A sob escaped her before she realized what was happening.
“Olivia? Are you okay?”
Tears began to stream down her face. Tears for Lulu, who had to say goodbye to everyone she loved, who’d never meet her grandchildren.
Tears for Marigold, who wouldn’t have time to prepare.
Tears for Bill, who loved his wife as fiercely and tenderly as a man could, who would’ve given up his own life if it meant that Lulu could have even a year more of hers.
And for the first time, tears for herself.
Without another word, Zack got out of bed, lowered himself to the ground, and wrapped his arm around her.
You can’t tell him, Olivia thought. You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone. But the secret felt so spiky inside her body, she’d give anything to release it, if only for a moment. “My mom is stopping treatment. Only my parents and I know. No one’s told Marigold.”
Zack was silent for a long moment. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He held her like that until her sobs subsided, the pressure more comforting than words could ever be. Then he gently lifted her to her feet and guided her toward the bed. “I’m taking the floor. No arguing.”
“Okay,” she said, too weary to push back.
“You can sleep,” he said. “I promise, nothing bad will happen tonight.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Would the creator of the glockenspieltergeist lie to you?”
She was struck by how much she already missed the weight of his body. As he turned away, she asked softly, “Will you lay with me for a minute?”
Without a word, he climbed into the bed next to her. She turned onto her side to make room, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her backward against his chest. “Is this okay?” he whispered in her ear. “Just tell me what you need.”
“This is good.” Her voice was still shaky, but not as if she were about to cry.
She was hyperaware of the fact that Zack wasn’t wearing a shirt, his skin warm against her own mostly exposed back.
She was even more aware of the contact between their lower halves; her nightgown had ridden up so there was nothing separating the front of his pajama pants from the rather insubstantial back of her black lace underwear.
He tightened his hold but didn’t move his hand, which stayed in the safe zone between her breasts and her waist. The message was clear—he wasn’t going to make any kind of move, not when she’d just tearfully confided in him about her dying mom.
But for the first time in a long while, those worries felt suddenly far from her mind.
Her body had taken over, and all that seemed to matter was staying as close to Zack as possible.
She tilted her hips back, a movement so subtle, he might not have noticed, had the extra contact not made her inhale sharply.
The fingers on her torso twitched, and soon Zack was running his hand along her stomach.
She felt his breath on her neck, her ear, then she turned to face him.
There was nothing tentative about the kiss—her lips parted to make room for his tongue, which explored her mouth with the same gentle urgency as the fingers roaming her body.
Zack’s hand ran down her back, slowly tracing her spine all the way to the bottom before squeezing her ass.
Every point where their bodies met—their hands, their cheeks, their thighs, their tongues—tingled to the point of aching.
An ache Olivia was suddenly desperate to satisfy.
As if reading her mind, Zack brought his hand to her thigh, lightly stroking it, his fingers dancing slightly higher each time.
She couldn’t see his face, but she could almost imagine him smirking as she shuddered, taking the same pleasure from teasing her like this as he did from their verbal banter.
Her body pulsed with anticipation until it became almost too painful to endure.
He began to rub her underwear in just the right spot, the sensation so intense and surprising that she almost jerked away. He paused for a moment, then resumed with less pressure. “Better?” he whispered.
Olivia could only manage a nod.
Normally, Olivia would try to move things along at this point.
One-night stands were never satisfying for her, and once the novelty wore off, she was keen to get to the next stage of the proceedings.
But the thought of Zack stopping his current activity felt unbearable.
Every time her breathing became more regular, when he felt her body relax, he increased the pressure slightly.
“Any chance you packed a condom in addition to eight different brands of hand cream?” she finally whispered. She felt so close to the edge, she had to pull herself back.
He laughed, his breath tickling her ear. “Yeah, I’ll get it in a minute.”
“Get it now.”
“You’re not the boss right now, counselor.
” He slipped his hand into her underwear and found the spot again.
Before her brain shut down completely, Olivia had the fleeting thought that she should perhaps do something to reciprocate, but as Zack’s hips rubbed against her, it became increasingly clear that he didn’t need any additional assistance.
Her breathing grew ragged, and just when she thought she couldn’t hold on any longer, he reached for something in the toiletry bag on the nightstand.
He fiddled with the wrapper briefly, and then gently shifted her over so she was lying on her back.
He lowered himself on top of her and pressed forward, her body yielding.
As her breath caught, he paused and brought his face to hers, kissing her mouth, her neck, her ear, before returning to her lips, kissing her even more deeply as he pushed himself fully inside her.
She gasped and clutched his back as he began to move, slowly but with purposeful intensity.
She wriggled and positioned herself so that every thrust made her nerves tingle. He followed her lead and adjusted accordingly. Olivia felt pressure building at a rate she’d never experienced before.
The world melted away. No one else existed; nothing else mattered except for the feeling of Zack.
There wasn’t room for any other thought, any other sensation.
The last thing Olivia remembered before falling asleep a bit later was the sound of her own contented sigh, and the warmth of Zack’s breath on her skin.
As she drifted off, she felt certain he’d keep his promise to make sure nothing bad happened. At least, not tonight.