Chapter 23
I was Already Dead
Iwake up in my own bed with that sour feeling in my stomach and throw back the covers. My feet hit the plush rug, lingering for a second, before I take off for the bathroom and drop to my knees in front of the toilet. Sweat dots my hairline and rolls down my back by the time I’ve finished puking.
I wipe my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and drop it in with the remnants of what I ate last night on the plane and flush before laying my body down on the cool tile and crying. Before I know it, I drift off to sleep.
“What’s wrong, hen?” Rhy whispers as he scoops my body off the bathroom floor and cradles me in his arms. For a second the room spins but then it stops and I feel weirdly fine as he carries me back to bed.
“Did I wake you?” I ask when I notice that it’s still the early morning gray outside and can’t be much past dawn. I feel like I could sleep for the next decade.
“Aye,” he answers. “You were gone and I don’t like it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you sick?” he asks as he lays us back down so that we’re facing each other. When he pulls the blankets back over us, I cuddle in.
“I don’t feel sick,” I tell him. “But when I woke up, my stomach hurt and I threw up.”
He touches his lips to my forehead for a second and then says, “You do no’ feel hot.”
“Yeah. It was weird,” I tell him. “Do we have time to sleep a little more? I feel better now, but I’m tired.”
“Aye.”
“Whatever I ate last night must have been bad,” I add and he gives me a weird look.
“Aye, it must have been bad.”
“Either way,” I reply. “I feel like I could sleep for a year.”
I was exhausted by the time we landed back at home.
This trip took more out of me than I thought it would.
Sure, we were on the go the whole time, traveling all over North America, but still, I’m young and healthy.
It definitely shouldn’t have hit me so hard.
The ladies’ words from before the state banquet have been rattling around in my head.
I can’t help but wonder if I might be pregnant.
It’s not like there’s been a lot of contraception used over the course of our relationship.
Or any at all. In fact, there were at least two horrifying ceremonies to ensure the continuation of Rhys’s bloodline.
“Then we best let you sleep, love.”
Rhys settles us in. Cocooned in the warmth of his body and the blankets with the early morning light barely making it through the curtains, I drift back to sleep to the lullaby of light rain tapping at the glass.
When I wake again, it’s late morning and I don’t feel like throwing up. But I do feel like I’m starving. I pick up the phone beside the bed and call the kitchens for pancakes and bacon.
I’m up and in leggings and an oversized sweater with my hair twisted into a messy bun on top of my head when the knock sounds on the door. The maid enters with my breakfast, and I smile my thanks to her as she lays it out on the table before making her retreat.
I sit down and dive into the absolute best breakfast I’ve ever had in my life. I kind of want to make out with the chef this morning because this is fantastic. I feel so much better. Whatever this morning was, it definitely was not a baby and obviously was a bad dinner on a long flight.
But I still haven’t had a period. It’s probably stress, but still, I’ll have to have Dahlia find some way to get me a pregnancy test. This is the kind of thing I would have asked of Maeve but she turned on me and Rhys.
When will my heart not hurt thinking of her and what happened? At this rate, it feels like never.
There’s nothing on my schedule for today, so I decided to spend some quality time in the library. I need to get my pets back from Auntie Dahlia and hunker down for rainy day cuddles and a game of hallway catch if we can’t go walk through the gardens.
With breakfast done, I brush my teeth and grab my sneakers before heading down the hallway where I bump into my favorite sister-in-law.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” she says, grabbing me and giving me a big hug. It’s the kind that’s so tight, you don’t think you can breathe while you sway back and forth.
“You mean you’re glad Leo is back.” I snicker.
“Hush you,” she says. “I really missed you and this is what I get?”
“I’m just teasing. I missed you too.”
“Of course you did,” she laughs. “I’m amazing. Now tell me all about America…”
“It was interesting,” I hedge. “Your packing and planning were perfect.”
“Of course it was,” she says with all seriousness in her tone of voice. “But tell me more.”
I can’t help but laugh a little before sobering when I realize what I need to ask of her.
Suddenly I’m extremely nervous because what if I’m not pregnant?
Will Rhys be upset that it might take a while?
Or worse… what if I am? Will I be a good mother?
And what if the Serpents manage to kill me? What will happen to my baby.
I realize I’m starting to hyperventilate when Dahlia grabs me by the arm and asks, “What is it? You’re worrying me.”
“I need you to do something for me,” I tell her. “But you can’t tell anyone.”
“Anything,” she replies. “I’d do anything for you after all you’ve done for me. I love you. You’re my sister in all but blood. So whatever it is, my answer is yes.”
“I need you to get me a pregnancy test.” Immediately, I have to curb her excited screaming. “Shushhhhh! You can’t say anything. This is a secret and… probably I’m worrying over nothing.”
“Right, right,” she says. “Secret. I’ll get right on that.”
“Thank you.”
“Always,” she says, hugging me again, only much gentler this time.
I roll my eyes as she begins to pull away, but stop her before she heads out on her errand. “Wait, where are my pets?”
“Oh,” she laughs. “Rhys took them to the office with him.”
“Okay. Thanks for everything,” I tell her. “I’ll be in the library. Come find me when you source it, please.”
“Of course. I’m dying to know.”
“Shush. Off with you,” I laugh and make my way to the library.
· · ·
There is not one book in this vast library that can hold my attention.
Belle would be so disappointed in me. It’s been an hour and a half and I can’t focus to save my life.
I want to cry and scream because this is not like me.
Old me would have been over the moon with a quiet rainy day alone in the massive library of a castle where no one would bother me.
But new me is currently losing her mind waiting to find out if she’s pregnant or not.
There’s a knock at the door and I jump, knocking my book off of the side table, not that I was reading it anyway. Dahlia pushes open the door with wide eyes and nods her head to the side in a not-so-subtle way of telling me to follow her.
We walk down the hall to my rooms and push open the door heading straight for the bathroom. She begins unloading the plain paper bag from the chemist. I wonder how she got there and back so fast.
“I got you three different brands and one bottle of water in case you canno’ wee,” she says, her brogue thickening with excitement.
“I don’t even know how you got it done so fast,” I tell her with wide eyes.
“I paid my favorite maid to run down and get me them,” she says. “With my misspent youth not so far in the past, I’m afraid half the household staff with think I’ve fallen off the wagon again.”
“Jesus. Dahlia, I’m so sorry,” I tell her. “I would never want you to tarnish your hard-fought reputation for me. Not after how hard you’ve worked to get better.”
“Oh, hush you,” she says with a smile, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. “This intrigue is the most fun I’ve had in ages. Now go piss on some sticks, will ya?”
“Fine, fine,” I laugh and grab the boxes. I go in and do my thing and when I’m done, we set them on the counter all lined up like little soldiers ready to make all my dreams come true or hurt my feelings. I have no idea which at the moment.
Dahlia sets a three-minute timer on her phone, and we go and sit in the sitting room, just staring at each other like serial killers probably do. Ohmigod, I need to stop with the true crime documentaries while my life is mimicking one.
When the timer sounds, we jump up and race back to the bathroom, stopping at the counter. Neither of us are looking at the tests, neither of us are reaching for them either. Our eyes lock in the mirror and I tell her, “Whatever it says, we’re happy.”
“Right,” she whispers.
“I can do this.”
“You can do this,” she repeats.
I reach for the first test and pick it up; two dark pink lines stare back at me.
I reach for the second and flip it over—a blue plus sign.
Ohmigod, could this really be happening?
My heart is racing when I grab for the last one.
I’d be shocked if it said something different, but it doesn’t matter because the bold word spelled out on the screen is clear as day.
PREGNANT
“Well?” Dahlia snaps impatiently. “What does it say?”
I look up at her in the mirror with tears in my eyes and smile as I nod.
“Really?” she gasps, moving forward to look at them herself. “Ohmigod!”
“I know!” I reply as she wraps me in another hug. “But not a word. I want to tell Rhys myself.”
“Technically it’s treason that I know before the King”—she hums—“so I’m onboard with this plan.”
“Jesus. You’re all really treason happy here, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
The outer door opens and I hear a bark before Rhys calls out, “Hen, are you in here?”
I panic and open a vanity drawer, shoving all the tests inside. I don’t know why I do that. I should tell him right now, but I don’t. How weird is that?
Dahlia looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and honestly, I think maybe I kind of have because what is happening right now?
“I’m back here,” I call out.
Rhys walks in with my animals following behind him. I scoop up my kitty and cuddle him to me after giving my dog lots of love to smooth over being gone so long.
“What are you both doing back here?” he asks, and I freeze.
I’ve never been good at lying. Dahlia however, is apparently a pro because she rolls her eyes at me from behind Rhys’s back before jumping into the fray. “She has a new lip gloss that I just loved, and I wanted to see which it was so I could buy one too,” she says.
“You’re here because of girl shite?” he asks.
“Umm… yes.”
“All right then,” he says, placing a quick kiss to my lips. “That was all I wanted so I’ll leave you to it.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Was there anything else?” he asks.
Dahlia waves frantically from behind his back, gesturing for me to open my mouth and tell him that I’m lying because I’m pregnant with his royal baby who is apparently robbing me of use of all of my gray matter.
“No,” I answer quickly. “Nothing else that I can think of.”
“All right. Love you,” he says. And with that he heads back to his office with my dog in tow. Leo is still in my arms.
“One,” Dahlia shouts after the door clicks closed. “I canno’ believe you didn’t tell him and that I had to lie for you!”
“I know, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Insanity, that’s what bloody well came over you,” she shouts. “And two, it’s weird you have a cat named after the man I’m shagging and I’ve just now realized it.”
“He almost died for me,” I say with a smirk on my face. “It was only right.”
“Speaking of shagging,” she shouts again. “Why didn’t you bloody tell your husband that you’re pregnant?”
“I don’t know!” I shout back.
“What a fucking mess,” she mumbles, and I can’t help but agree. “Tell him and do it soon.”
“I will,” I agree. “Tonight. I just needed to wrap my head around it and there wasn’t time to do that with him barging in and wanting to know what we were doing. I panicked.”
“I could tell,” she says drolly.
“You’re the best sister-in-law ever,” I tell her.
“I know,” she agrees. “And I’m going to be the best auntie in the whole world.”
“Obviously,” I agree.
“Now you get some rest and wrap that pretty little head around your news,” she says, tapping me on the forehead. “I’m going to go hunt down a snack.”
“I think I’m going to go back to the library,” I tell her. “I think I could actually read a book now and the idea of food sounds disgusting.”
“And you doubted that you were pregnant,” she says as she kisses my cheek and heads out.
“Wel, what do you think?” I ask my kitty. “Fancy a nap in the library?”
He just purrs into my cheek so I take that as a yes and carry him down the hallway to the library.
But the weirdest thing happens when I step into the historic room.
Leo bristles in my arms and starts growling and hissing.
He jumps off my shoulder and it’s the strangest thing.
He’s literally never behaved like this at all.
I turn around to see what’s got him so spun up and when I do, I shriek.
“Shush!” Maeve snaps. “You do no’ want them to hear us.”
She looks terrible. Like she’s been living who knows where for over a month. Honestly, she has to have been pretty resourceful to have lasted this long without being discovered.
I hold my hands out in front of me in a look at how innocent and kind I am kind of way.
“You don’t want to do this,” I say quietly. “We can get you out of here safely without being noticed. Just let me go and I’ll help you.”
“You idiot,” she snaps. “I’m trying to help you, but we have to go.”
“You’re trying to help me?” I ask confused. “But they’ll kill you.”
“Darlin’ girl, I was already dead when they had me pretending to be a dead woman to scare you,” she says. “But we have to go, now.”
“Okay,” I say. “Okay. I believe you. Let’s go.”
“Thank God,” she says as she turns to the door and a shot is fired through it.