35. Clara
Chapter thirty-five
Clara
J oy threatens to burst my heart as Clark drives me home. I’ve rolled the window down, letting the evening breeze blow through my hair. Chase is sitting on my lap, his head hanging out the window as I watch the scenery roll by.
This day couldn’t have gone any better. Everyone in town is buzzing with positive energy—a buzz I helped create. And we found a way to get Pops involved. A way that will hopefully give him something to look forward to each day.
And Clark. I’d have to be either completely blind or completely stupid to deny the chemistry between us after today. All of his teasing comments—it was the most at ease, dare I say, flirtatious , I’d ever seen him. When we were having our standoff at the picnic table and he reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear, I thought I might faint from the contact.
The glint in his eyes hinted that he was experiencing all the same attraction that I was. But then he stepped back so abruptly, I thought maybe I imagined it. Did I imagine it, or is Clark just too afraid to admit what’s there?
We pull into my driveway, and I climb out of the truck, hoping that Clark will walk me to my door again. Whatever might be going on in his mind, I guess his Southern gentleman genes won’t quit because he follows me to my front porch. My heartbeat morphs into the hoofs of a racehorse, sprinting and pounding with abandon.
I punch in the code to unlock my front door but then turn to face Clark. He’s several steps back from me, in what could only be an intentional attempt to put space between us. My heart drops, but I force a smile.
“Thank you for today, Clark. Thanks for saying yes to this, for letting me help,” I say, taking a tiny step closer to him.
He shrugs a shoulder. “Seemed like the best move for the town. We’ll see how it goes. But if today’s excitement was any indication, it was the right decision.”
“I know it was a hard idea for you to get on board with,” I press, wanting him to understand how I feel about his decision. About him . “I just want you to know how grateful I am. How happy it makes me to be able to be here with you and help.”
A shadow flickers across his face, killing the edges of my smile. He takes another step backward. “I’d do anything for the people of this town. Even if it means the opposite of what past generations of Noel men thought was needed.” He clears his throat, and I hear Chase whine from the truck window. “I’ll let you get some sleep. Let me know if you need anything from me for the advertising.”
He strides away from me, then pulls out of the driveway while I remain frozen on the porch.
Every time I think I’ve figured out the Clark puzzle, that I’ve found the true design hidden behind the Magic Eye camouflage, I find myself back at square one. I was so sure he was opening up more, letting down some of his walls. Now I’m not sure of anything.
Stunned, I just stand there staring at the empty driveway for a few minutes before I open the door. I pull my phone out of my pocket, tempted to call Syd and process through all this Clark confusion with her. But her friendship with Clark has too much back-story, and his relationship with Davis is too important. I can’t bring myself to unload this on her.
I call Madison instead as I make my way to the back porch, plopping down in my rocking chair in the darkness. Just when I think it’s going to voicemail, she answers.
“Clara! How’d the Christmas planning party go?”
“Hey, Mads. It was good. Everyone was excited. And we have a solid plan to execute, so I count that a success,” I say.
“Then why do you sound like Christmas got canceled?” she asks.
I sigh.
“Ah,” Mads says. “I take it Hottie McScrooge is behind the low-key depressing tone. Did he try to cancel Christmas?”
“No, nothing like that,” I respond. “He’s totally rolling with the festival idea, and even seems pretty convinced that it will be worthwhile.”
“Sooo? What is it then?”
“I don’t know. I think that’s the most frustrating part—that I can’t figure him out,” I groan. Madison waits silently for me to continue. “I just . . . I feel all this attraction, this chemistry between us, and I keep thinking that he might be feeling it too. But then he’ll push me back out to arm’s length again. And I’m not talking T-Rex arm’s length—what animal has the longest arm span?”
“Please hold. I’m searching,” Mads replies. A second later, she says, “Humpback whale.”
“Okay, so he pushes me out to humpback whale arm’s length. I thought the whole Christmas festival was a sign that he was opening up to me, but maybe I was wrong.”
“Do you think he’s afraid to get close to people after what happened with his family?” Madison asks.
I hum. “Maybe? I mean, that would make sense. But I think it’s something else, something more than that. Something specifically about me . Then again, maybe that’s just me over-analyzing why he won’t like me.”
“You do hate it when people don’t like you. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess? Just focus on making this Christmas festival the biggest success it could possibly be,” I muse, twirling the ring on my finger.
“That’s fine, Clara,” Mads says. I can hear in her tone that there’s a “but” coming. “But as you’re working on the festival, don’t forget the original reason you wound up at that cabin in Noel.”
“The movie script,” I sigh. “You’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right,” Mads scoffs. “When have I ever not been right?”
“Uh, maybe when you said you were entirely confident that Ivy was the type of person to make a good roommate?”
“Touché.”
The next three months are a whirlwind of Christmas activity. As a girl, I’d always wished that the holiday season could last year-round. Between preparations for The First Noel and slowly chipping away at my movie script, I’m living out all my childhood Christmas dreams.
I reach out to several contacts I have in the journalism sector. Articles advertising the Christmas festival will appear in newspapers based in Kansas, Missouri, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. I also comb through our client lists to find any located in the general vicinity and work short blurbs into the November newsletter issues. It may be an abuse of power, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take in order to get the word out about The First Noel.
My parents accompany me on two of my trips to Noel, offering their logistics expertise to the planning committee, which consists of Clark, Emily, James, and Sydney. Clark’s mayoral office is brimming with boxes of Christmas decor, a mental picture I take delight in projecting any time I need a smile.
Mom knows there’s ambiguity in my friendship with Clark, but she’s kind enough not to bring it up. Which is good because I wouldn’t even know what to explain. The ambiguity only thickens when I watch how polite and borderline friendly Clark is with my parents . . . but I’m personally still out at humpback whale’s arm length.
The first week of October, Sydney comes to visit me in KC. She’s been hired by James to decorate the tiny cabins used by float trip vacationers in the summer. Each cabin will have a different Christmas decor theme, hopefully drawing even more people to drive to Noel and stay a few days for the festival. Madison knows all the best thrift stores that put out Christmas decor early, and she’s going to help Syd find good deals—even though Sydney said she has a healthy budget.
“Where did the money for the festival supplies come from?” Madison asks Syd as we wait in line for our coffees.
“Ya know, I’m not sure,” Syd replies, brow furrowed. “Clark said he found some funding to get the festival kicked off. I didn’t think to ask questions—I figured there were some mayor strings he pulled to get a grant from the state or something.”
Six hours later, all three of our cars are filled to the brim with Christmas decorations. We found what we could thrifting and then hit up some of the big home decor stores. Ranging from traditional red and green, to more modern whimsical colors and patterns, Syd has plenty of material to work with. I’ll have to plan a trip to Noel with Dad’s truck to get the rest of the supplies to Syd. There’s no way it will all fit in her car, and she needs to start decorating soon so James can take photos and get the cabins listed on the rental website.
That night, I take Syd to one of my favorite Kansas City barbecue restaurants for dinner, making sure she orders the Z-man sandwich with extra crispy fries. She’s moaning over her bite of food, and I try to inquire about Clark nonchalantly.
“So, how has Clark been holding up with the invasion of Christmas?”
She shrugs and swallows. “He acts reluctant about it all, but I think he’s secretly enjoying it. He even agreed to rename the town ‘No-el’ for the duration of the festival, per your suggestion. I’m no psychologist, but I suspect that planning the Christmas event is helping him work through some of his childhood trauma from his dad’s disapproval.”
I nod and bite a French fry rather than responding.
“I honestly still don’t understand why he won’t admit that he likes you, though,” Syd adds before taking another giant bite of her sandwich.
“Syd!” I exclaim, cheeks on fire.
“What?! I’m just speaking the truth! I know Clark’s not naturally one to open up to relationships, but his avoidance of his feelings for you seems over the top—even for his vulnerability issues,” Syd says. “It’s obvious to everyone that y’all like each other.”
I bury my face in my hands. “Who’s everyone?”
“Paul, Emily, James, Becky, Pops, us, obviously,” Syd replies, ticking off the names with her fingers. She adds with a grin, “Literally anyone who has ever watched the two of you interact for even a millisecond.”
Now I drop my head fully into my arms on the table, groaning.
“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” Syd says, patting my arm. I look up and raise an eyebrow at her. She laughs. “Okay, sometimes I try to embarrass you, but I promise I’m not this time. I’m simply letting you know that I sincerely don’t know what his deal is. I’m on your side here.”
“There are no sides, Syd,” I say. “I’m trying to stay focused on my full-time job while also helping make this festival amazing. I’m trying not to worry about what probably won’t happen with Clark.”
“I hope your movie script is also on your to-do list,” Syd says. “How’s that coming? When can I read it?”
I take a bite of my sandwich to buy time before answering. “It’s coming. I swear I’m making progress. But I’m not sure when I’ll be ready for anyone to read it. In fact, I may not ever let anyone read this first script. I might use it as practice but then try a new storyline.”
I’m too afraid that my feelings for Clark not-so-subtly woven into the script will be displayed for everyone to decipher.
“What?! Unfair!” Syd whines. “I’m giving you a deadline—I expect to see that script by the end of the year, or I’ll speak with Becky and remove your coffee privileges.”
I gasp. “You’d never!”
Syd quirks an eyebrow. “Girl, you know I would. Get me that script!”