Chapter 4 #2
“Roman,” she said, shaking her head with disbelief. “Why does this matter so much to you? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“That’s because you don’t know me.”
“Okay. So explain it.”
He shook his head quickly. “It’s not important. All you need to know is that I’m here to keep you safe.”
“I am safe,” she said, reaching out and touching his chest to make him listen. Because it felt imperative that he really hear what she was saying. “You’ve already made sure of that. You saved me. What happened last night was unlucky, a random act of violence.”
“What happened last night was that you were attacked,” he corrected sharply. “Those men were going to rape you, Kate. If I hadn’t come along, they were going to rape you, and God knows what else.”
She flinched and then began to shake uncontrollably at the reality of what he’d said—a reality she’d been fighting hard not to face, because it was too hard. Too distressing.
“So excuse me if I’m not particularly reassured.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn’t form.
He was right. It had been bad. Awful. The reality of what she’d been faced with, of how damn lucky she was that Roman had come along at that moment and not hesitated to save her, was like a bomb going off in her brain, fierce, sharp and brutal.
“Roman…” His name was a plea on her lips, a desperate, breathy sound of hope, and he understood, because a moment later he was lifting her and carrying her back to the sofa, absorbing her trembling, giving strength from his body to hers.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, and this time, rather than placing her down, he sat down himself and kept her in his lap, stroking her hair, murmuring reassurances over and over.
“It’s going to be okay. No one is going to hurt you, Kate.
No one’s going to touch you.” And she shivered from the brutality of what she’d been through.
At first, the horrible violence flashed in her mind like dangerous memory shards, but then, she began to tremble in a different way, as the present overtook those flashes of the past, and pleasure surged beyond pain and panic.
She let her body relax against him, her frame completely absorbed and dwarfed by his, his touch gentle on her hair, then her arms, and then the curve of her spine, as he kept murmuring promises to her that she didn’t know if he’d be able to keep, but that worked to reassure her in that moment at least.
The danger wasn’t that he’d held her and stroked her for this long, it was that he’d held her and stroked her even after she’d fallen asleep. Because at first, it had been about comforting her. Then, it had become about his own needs. What he got out of the contact.
He knew this was a thousand shades of fucked up. She was someone he’d just met, yet all of a sudden, his entire world revolved around keeping her safe. As though penance would ever bring Grace back.
Only it wasn’t just about Grace. It was more complicated than that.
He wanted to save Kate, too. He wanted to save her for her own sake, because no woman should ever be attacked and hurt, no woman should ever have to live in fear the way Kate had, because of those men.
For as long as he lived, he wouldn’t forget the way she’d screamed.
A sound at the door had him glancing up, as Garrett walked in. And if his long-term right-hand man thought it was unusual for Roman to be sitting there with a sleeping Kate in his lap, he didn’t show it by even a shift of his features. He lifted the small suitcase up with a querying look.
“Guest room,” Roman said, quietly.
“Right, boss.”
Roman shifted then, moving his body weight and gently tumbling Kate back onto the sofa. She moved, as though she might wake, then rolled onto her side and breathed out. “Thank you,” she said, all sleepy and sweet, so his whole body tightened with a drugging sort of awareness.
Garrett returned a moment later. “Police report filed,” he said. “Immigration lawyers on board. And clothes ordered.”
“Good,” Roman nodded his approval. “Thank you,” he said, as an afterthought. “I know this must seem—”
“Like you have a saviour complex?” Garrett said, reaching out and patting Roman on the shoulder. “Yeah, but I don’t think that’s a personality defect. She’s lucky you found her.”
Roman closed his eyes at the insight. Maybe that was at the root of this?
No one had found Grace. She’d died alone on the streets. No one had held her hand and told her she’d be okay. No one had been there to reassure her in those final moments, and a life of fear and violence would have clarified into that last night of solitary pain.
He would spare Kate from that, just as much as he wanted to spare anyone.
“I’ve cancelled your next few days. Figured you’d want to stay close to home.”
“Yes,” Roman agreed, glancing back to Kate. “Until she’s back on her feet again, I’ll stay here.”
“Got it.”
The smell of cooking woke Kate, and she stirred somewhat disoriented as the last few days spun through her mind like a kaleidoscope of memories and dreams, making it hard to know what was real and what wasn’t.
She swallowed to clear the sleepy taste from her mouth, moving to sit up before she remembered her ankle and crying out, earning a sharp look from Roman.
“Stay still,” he growled, in that big bear way he had. It should have been intimidating but it wasn’t. It was just…hot. Really, really hot, and addictive, because when Roman spoke to her like that, Kate felt like the most valuable person on earth.
It was something she’d never known and could really get used to, if she let herself.
Not that she would. Self-preservation 101 was about knowing her boundaries and keeping them in place.
Not ever, ever needing someone so badly that their rejection had the power to destroy her.
Because if she’d learned one thing in life, it was that rejection was as inevitable as it was unpredictable.
Sometimes, it had literally been the work of a day.
She’d left for school from one home and been picked up by a social worker that afternoon, told the placement hadn’t worked out and that she was going to a different home for the evening.
No chance to say goodbye. No chance to process the feeling of rejection.
“I’m okay,” she said, and then flashes of memory danced through her mind, reminding her of the way he’d held her and promised her that exact same thing, over and over. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
Her heart stammered and skipped a beat; she could no longer look at him. It was too much. The air between them seemed to swirl with awareness.
“Garrett brought your things from the hostel.”
“He did?”
When she glanced at Roman it was to see the last vestiges of a scowl on his handsome face.
“He says it’s a dive.”
She laughed. “Well, I mean, if this is your baseline,” she said, gesturing to the palatial living area, that looked as though Architectural Digest had curated it from their most stylish feature properties.
“It’s not,” he assured her.
Curiosity flexed anew. There was so much she didn’t know about this man, her saviour, and suddenly, that felt impossible.
She pressed her weight into the sofa with one hand and stood unsteadily, dipping her head to hide a smile at his muttered curse, and the way he moved so quickly.
His reaction was predictable and heavenly.
She craved the feeling of his arms around her, craved that sense of security and warmth, even when she knew danger lurked behind that addiction.
“What do you need?” he asked.
“Well, actually, the bathroom,” she said, flushing. She’d made her own way that morning, and again at the clinic. “I can do it.”
“Stop arguing,” he admonished, carrying her to a guest bathroom and placing her within a single step of the toilet.
“Thank you,” she murmured, glancing up at him. “Please leave.”
He nodded, but stood exactly where he was, so she wondered if he was tempted to offer to help with her pants; and was she tempted to let him, if he did?
“I won’t be long,” she said, her voice croaked. And then, because he was still standing there, she pressed a hand to his broad chest, felt his thudding heart, and said, “Thank you for everything, Roman.”
“You’re welcome, Kate.” He touched her cheek then, as though he couldn’t help it.
“I’ll be just outside.” And then, in an act that was only strange because it wasn’t strange, he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before leaving her in the bathroom, staring at the wall with a frown on her face and a racing heart.