Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
FOR ALL SHE KNEW, he did make a habit of giving women expensive gifts before watching them walk away, but as far as Kate could tell, this whole evening had been designed especially for her.
There was no other way to explain the activities he’d chosen, from a private tour of the Library, to dinner at a rooftop restaurant, where they sat alone on the terrace, overhead heating meaning she was warm enough to wear the glorious dress without a coat, and then, a limousine drive to Broadway to watch a musical from a royal box.
Just the two of them, side by side, with nothing like nose-bleed seats, and very unobstructed views of the world class production.
Afterwards, he surprised her with a walk through Times Square, holding her hand in a way that made her body thrum, and her whole self feel safe.
They bought pizza from a window and ate it on the sidewalk, talking, and laughing, like any normal couple.
But in the back of her mind, a drum was beating, because she knew they weren’t normal, and they weren’t a couple.
This was the beginning of the end, and there was no fighting that.
Deep down, Kate wondered if she had any fight left in her?
It was late the next day when Garrett called. “Can I come up?”
Roman wondered why his gut tightened with a presentiment of disaster. “Yeah, we’re here.”
Kate glanced at him and he nodded once, ignoring the way they communicated so effortlessly now. Silently. As though they were connected on some level that defied explanation.
“Do you think he has news?” She wrung her hands in front of her. Hands that he would be saying goodbye to the very next day, never to touch or feel again. His throat tightened and he clenched his jaw.
It would be better once she’d left. Then, he’d be through the worst of it. Neither of them liked goodbyes—they’d both had too many of them in their lives.
“I don’t know.” He crossed to Kate, who was fidgeting with her fingers, and caught her hands in his. “Either way, I’m here with you.” For now.
She nodded distractedly. “Okay.”
When Garrett arrived, Kate didn’t know what she expected.
Good news? Bad? No news? But her blood was bursting through her body, and it was only partly because of the way Roman stood, one arm around her shoulders, holding her to his body, the other dropped to hold her hand, like he knew she needed as much contact as she could get.
“Kate, how are you?”
She nodded. “You have news?” she repeated.
“I do, yes.” He looked uneasily towards Roman.
“It’s okay,” she said, exhaling. “I’m ready. What is it?”
He grimaced. “I’m sorry, Kate. Your father’s dead.”
She truly hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry?”
“He died a year ago, in a traffic accident. I needed your DNA to be sure it was him, before I told you,” he explained.
“I see.”
“I’ve got a probate lawyer looking into his estate, to see if there’s anything you need to deal with. The fact he’s an American citizen will work in your favour for the visa issue.”
She was numb, though, her insides flooding with a sort of ice that she knew would never thaw. She pulled her hand from Roman’s and slowly stepped away from him, walking towards the sofa. She was alone.
Well and truly isolated.
She hadn’t realised, until that moment, just how much hope she was pinning on her father’s existence. That finally she might be tethered to someone, a person who—if they didn’t love her—was at least a part of her. Someone to whom she belonged.
But there was no one.
“Kate.” Roman’s voice was sharp. “Sit down.”
She turned to face him, wondering why he looked as though he’d seen a ghost. He cursed and crossed to her, gently guiding her to the sofa and putting enough weight on her shoulders that she collapsed into the cushions. She stared straight ahead. There was no one for Kate.
Even Roman had Tia. Us. We. She was, and always would be me. I.
“Thank you for letting me know,” she said, unevenly.
“I’m chasing down his birth certificate, to help get your US documents in order—”
Kate lifted her gaze to Garrett’s, shaking her head. “You’ve done enough,” she said. “I won’t be staying in the country.”
She didn’t look at Roman; why would she have?
He knew she was leaving at some point, but now, she just needed to get away completely.
Away from Roman, away from her hopes that she would be a part of something here, with her father, in this country.
Emotions were assaulting her from every direction; she could hardly breathe.
She was suffocating, every breath costing her an inordinate effort.
“Can you have whatever you’ve got couriered over, for Kate to keep?” His eyes rested on her, revealing nothing. “I can put you in touch with my Australian lawyer, Kate. To help when you’re ready.”
Her gut tightened. That was Roman. Accepting her departure and moving on to the practicalities.
She nodded, even though she had no intention of falling in with his suggestion.
She’d do this on her own, just as she would every other thing in her life.
Kate was a survivor. Alone, but a survivor, and she’d survive this, too.
By silent, but mutual, consent they didn’t talk about it. Kate didn’t want to, and Roman understood that. They spent the night together but the silence of what they weren’t saying was oppressive. And when the sun cracked like a yolk over Manhattan the next morning, they both knew what it meant.
They were over; this thing they had was done—no more ignoring reality.
“I don’t want you to buy me a ticket.”
“I’m not buying it. I’m sending you, on my jet.”
“No way. Apart from anything, that’s incredibly bad for the environment.”
“You’re saying you’re philosophically opposed to a private jet?
” He kept his tone light, because someone had to.
Ever since Garrett’s announcement the evening before, it had felt as though almost all the air had been sucked out of the penthouse.
Not saying what he wanted to had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done.
“I mean, it’s not something I’ve given much thought,” she conceded, sipping her coffee. “But I think I might be.”
“Then let me arrange a seat for you on one of my jets.”
She rolled her eyes. “You really do go from bad to worse.”
“Kate, let me do this. Just this.”
She opened her mouth to object and then closed it again. If her finances were as dire as he thought, then she had very few options. “On one condition.”
A burst of admiration fired inside of him. The fact that she wanted to argue and negotiate something as small as an airfare made his chest roll with feelings.
“I’m listening.” He drained his own coffee and placed the mug in the sink.
“It’s a loan. I want to pay you back.”
He wouldn’t take her money, but he didn’t say that then. “Sure. If you want.”
“I do.” She looked around his living room, as though taking in every last detail. “I’m going to miss this place.”
He could tell she’d said more than she wanted to by the way she abruptly stood up, jamming her hands in the pockets of her jeans. She moved away from him then, pulling her hair over one shoulder with her hand, and the other curling around her luggage. “Well, I guess I should be going.”
He knew she’d packed, and brought her bag out, but he’d thought they’d at least have the day. One more day. It wasn’t so much to ask, was it?
“Now?”
He could have kicked himself for asking the question.
“No time like the present,” she quipped with a grin that didn’t meet her eyes.
“Where will you go?”
She opened her mouth then closed it again, her eyes fluttering shut a second later. When she looked at him, he almost choked on his exhalation of breath. She looked unlike he’d ever seen her. Her eyes were utterly bereft. His hand formed a fist at his side.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Roman. I’m not your problem.”
He clenched his jaw, ignoring the tide of anger surging through him. “I never saw you as a problem—mine or otherwise.”
“You saw me as someone to save, and I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. But I’m going to be okay. I’m a survivor, remember? Just like you.”
No, not like him. Where Roman’s life had made him harder than granite, Kate’s, he suspected, had only given her the appearance of steel.
Beneath that veneer, he’d seen more. Caught glimpses of a woman who was flesh, blood, heart and soul.
The kind of woman who deserved a life so much better than what she was aiming for.
She railed against her vulnerability but that didn’t mean it didn’t exist. She was strong in the face of it, because she lived alongside those feelings, not because she didn’t have them.
Kate walked towards him, pure bravery. “I’ll never forget these last two weeks. It’s been…a whole new experience for me.”
If she was brave, then he was a coward, because he didn’t ask what she meant—and that could have been any number of things.
She might have been referring to the apartment or the Broadway show or his cooking, or the fireworks.
He wondered if it was more significant than that, but didn’t ask because he didn’t want to know.
If she said, ‘yes’, then what? How could he handle being yet another person to reject her, knowing that she was hurting and this time, it was his fault?
He didn’t ask what she meant, but he said the next best thing. “Promise me you’ll look after yourself.”
She nodded once, eyes holding his. Fierce and courageous.
“No dark alleys in the middle of the night.”
She half-smiled. “I’ll do my best.”
“I’m serious, Kate. I need—” his chest heaved. He closed his eyes then quickly blinked them open, affecting a look of non-concern. “I’d like to think you’re okay.”
“I will be,” she said, though of course they both knew it was an impossible guarantee for anyone to give. Her hand clutched the handle again and Roman knew she was signalling something. She needed to go. She was holding on by a thread. So why did he stand there, so useless and immovable?