Chapter 16 #4
She dashed at her cheeks, not caring about her eye makeup, not caring about anything.
She sucked in a breath, trying to say what was in her heart, not her angry soul.
“I’m not a goddamn hooker, Roman. Not that it’s any of your business.
” She tilted her chin with angry defiance.
“I’m an escort, there’s a difference. Believe me, I read my employment contract enough times to make absolutely sure that there are clear lines around what’s expected.
Physical intimacy is forbidden with my clients—your booking form should state that in big, bold letters.
” She waited to see if he’d nod his acknowledgement, but there was nothing.
She breathed out quickly. “I date nice men who need company for a night. It’s completely above board and innocent.
” She sniffed, unable to even look at his face now.
“And okay, it’s not my dream job, and I don’t plan on doing it forever.
But as you pointed out, it’s very well paid, and it will leave me free to study during the daytime and just maybe I’ll get my life back on track because of this opportunity.
So don’t you dare stand there and accuse me of something you know nothing about.
And to think, I really believed you knew me. I thought you saw me.”
He was silent, as if weighing up her words, working out if he should believe her.
She couldn’t bear to wait and hear another word, though.
“I meant what I said that day in New York. The time I spent with you was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
But today you’ve made me realise that you never knew me, and I clearly never really knew you.
Because the Roman Hayes I fell completely head over heels in love with would never behave like this.
Would never speak to anyone like this, let alone me.
It was all an illusion. And I’d really rather be left alone now, thank you very much. ”
She put it down to abject shock—perhaps even horror—that he did indeed let her go, and she ran away from him as fast as she could, disappearing into the after-work crowd, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
There was rock bottom, and then there was about a thousand feet below it, where Roman had to scrape himself up from.
It wasn’t like he’d always made the right decisions, and he didn’t think he was perfect, but there was no escaping the fact that in the last twenty minutes, Roman had made the biggest, most unretractable mistake of his life.
He stalked back to Garrett and slid into the backseat of his car, staring straight ahead.
“No Kate?”
Roman’s gut rolled as though he’d just dropped off the top of a rollercoaster. No Kate. Likely, ever again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“No.”
His hands balled against his thighs. He closed his eyes, tried to think. But their argument kept replaying. The things he’d said. The way he’d made it sound like he’d have paid her to stay, purely for sex. The way he’d somehow managed to reduce what they were to sex. Her face, God, her face.
He sucked in a breath, tried to breathe. Tried to focus, but panic was surging through him. Outwardly, he showed little sign, but his insides were trembling with emotion and he could hardly see straight.
He texted Tia:
I blew it.
Blew what?
Everything.
His phone began to ring. He was tempted to ignore it, but he knew she’d just keep calling. “What’s going on?” she asked, before he could even speak.
“I came to Sydney.”
“Okay. And?”
“You don’t want to know.”
Tia let out a low breath. “How bad?”
“Bad.”
“Want to tell me?”
“I blew it.”
“Okay. Blew it like, you need to buy some flowers?”
“All of Holland wouldn’t be enough damn flowers for this.”
Tia made a noise. “What did you do?”
“Take your pick. Called her a hooker. Offered her money for sex. Told her I would have paid a king’s ransom if she’d stayed in New York as my mistress. Need I go on?”
“Holy shit, you’re kidding me?”
“I wish.”
“What the hell were you thinking? Why did you even go there if that’s what you wanted to say to her?”
“It’s not what I wanted to say to her. I just…I saw her there, waiting for some guy, and I imagined her pimping out her body, and I just…I lost it. I became something I didn’t recognise. No, worse. I became my dad.”
“You are not James Hayes, Roman. You are nothing like him.”
“I was so angry.”
“You were jealous. Take it from me, it’s a beast of a thing.”
“I’ve never felt that before.”
“You’ve never felt anything before, that’s my point. Kate is different.”
“Kate is…gone. She’s absolutely never going to want to speak to me again.”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to come home without trying, does it?”
“Would you talk to a guy who treated you like that?”
“No. Not at first, and not without some serious grovelling. I mean, serious. And for God’s sake, by grovelling, I don’t mean diamonds. I don’t mean money. I don’t even think flowers. What you need now is to be honest with her. Tell her how you feel, and go from there.”
“She says she loved me.”
“I know she did.”
He shook his head. “How do you know?”
“Anyone in the room with the two of you could see it. Except, well, the two of you.”
“I need her in my life.”
“Then go get her.”
“What, kidnap her back to my apartment until she falls in love with me again?”
“Not quite. Just…don’t forget that you’re a fighter. You can’t give up because you made a mistake. If she loved you, if she still loves you, she’ll give you a hearing. It’s up to you not to waste that.”