Chapter 17
KIRA
When we return to the house that’s starting to feel a lot like home, I head straight to the bathroom, remove the wig, and scrub off the makeup. When the disguise is gone, my face looks tired but clearer.
Visiting Moon Ridge made me hopeful, but it also brought the challenges I’m facing into focus.
I loved the town, and seeing people going about their everyday lives was a breath of fresh air, but I can’t help but contrast my situation.
No one’s life is truly carefree, no matter how things look to the outside world, but I doubt anyone else in the little town has a target on their back.
In my room, I bring out the sonogram picture and stroke my finger gently along its edges as I make silent wishes for my daughter. I place it carefully on the table beside my bed, where it will be the first and last thing I see every day.
Next, I lay the yarn out on the bed and admire the colors. I’m tempted to dive right into a project, both for its soothing effect and to feel like I’m doing something. Making some sort of progress, rather than existing in a state of limbo.
But I’ll save that for later. Instead, I go back downstairs to help put things away in the pantry, if the men will let me help. Sometimes I don’t know if they’re shielding me from work they think will tire me out, or if they prefer their own way of doing things.
The pantry, for example, is better organized than a freshly stocked grocery store. All the labels face forward with the closest expiration date products at the front. Everything is grouped in sensible categories.
It’s both admirable and intimidating.
Atlas and Grizz are the ones unpacking supplies, and to my surprise, they let me help, but only to take things out of the bags, not to put them on the shelves. I don’t know if this actually qualifies as helping, but it keeps my hands busy.
“How are you feeling after the trip into town?” Atlas asks.
“A little tired, but it was nice to get out. I liked Moon Ridge a lot.”
“Good folk,” Grizz says, his arms full of cans of beans.
“Good and Interesting,” I say. “Elena seemed really nice, and I’m still smiling when I think about Mae and Ed.”
Grizz and Atlas both chuckle, and Grizz says, “Yeah, maybe I’ve been too skeptical about them.”
Atlas nudges Grizz in the ribs. “Might want to change your bet. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, sharing Mae’s milkshake when we left.”
When our laughter dies down, I say, “There’s so much more of a sense of community here compared to the city. It seems like people look out for one another,” I say.
“Most do,” Atlas says.
I pick at a price sticker that’s starting to peel off a box of pasta. “Much as I liked visiting town, I don’t want to go more than necessary. If Preston or his cronies come looking for me, I don’t want to put anyone in Moon Ridge in danger.”
Atlas gives me a long look, but doesn’t say anything. Grizz stacks up the three family-sized ketchup bottles they bought and makes a comment intended to make me laugh. I do, but my head is still in Moon Ridge.
Elena seemed to have a spine of steel and a heart that’s still open.
It can’t be easy, raising a child on your own, but she made the idea of single motherhood feel …
survivable. Hard, but not impossible. I feel more certain I can do it too, if I need to, but my mind keeps drifting to other possible futures.
Atlas and Grizz are both in the pantry, organizing the shelves. The two of them barely fit, but they work together in perfect coordination, and while they’re involved in their task, I have time to study them.
They’re such strong men, with no shortage of muscles between them, and bodies much younger men would be lucky to have.
Something stirs deep inside me, and I’m distracted from the task at hand as I wonder how it would feel to stroke Grizz’s beard, or run my fingers over the short-cropped hair above Atlas’s collar.
It’s not the first time I’ve thought about things like this, but the feelings keep getting stronger, and I’m becoming more certain my attraction to them isn’t based on adrenaline and gratitude.
All three of these men are incredibly competent, generous, and kind. Sure, they may not say much, but their actions speak volumes about their characters.
In town, Atlas watched every doorway without making me feel trapped.
Grizz made sure to walk on the outside of the sidewalk and was always close enough to steady me if I started to slip on a patch of snow.
Viper never once stopped scanning our surroundings, yet I’m sure he heard every word of every conversation, even when it didn’t seem like he was paying attention.
When I’m with them, I feel safe and cared for.
It makes me wonder what it would be like to belong here. To them. As something more than a guest they’ve taken in.
It’s a scary thought, not because it feels wrong, but because it doesn’t.
Me, pregnant by a criminal, with no solid plans other than to try to stay alive and save my child.
Three men, all older, settled, and bound together by a history I can barely imagine.
Three of them and one of me.
It should be impossible. Unthinkable. And yet …
I’ve always chosen the path that seemed the safest and looked the most stable. Preston Vaughn had been an easy choice. He was so successful and charming. Everyone had approved when I started dating him.
Look how well that turned out.
Maybe I should listen to my instincts for once, rather than doing what seems right on paper.
Even if nothing comes from whatever impulse is quietly curling around my ribs when I look at Atlas, Grizz, and Viper, I don’t want to shove my feelings in a box because they’re not traditional.
I owe it to myself to stay open to whatever might happen.
Easier said than done.