Chapter 33 Kira
KIRA
Upstairs, I take a while in the bathroom, wishing I could scrub Preston’s image from my mind as easily as I brush my teeth.
Of course, I put nothing past him, this man who claimed to love me but now wants me dead, but it still hurts to have him paint me as mentally unstable. To care nothing about the baby, while acting as if the baby is his main concern.
Even though I saw this coming, I’d been harboring a wild hope that he’d come to his senses, or maybe find one little corner of his heart where he actually cared about me, and let me disappear in peace.
That’s not how it's going to be, and it’s hard not to dwell on all the horrible scenarios that might play out in my future. I feel safe here at the compound, but I also know what Preston’s capable of.
As I change for bed, I rest my hand on my belly and close my eyes for a moment. We’ll be safe, I tell my daughter. I’ll keep you safe. These men will keep us safe.
Dr. Navarro said it was important to manage stress. I can’t let this new development rattle me.
I take a deep breath and pull on my pajama pants. They’re getting tight, even though they have an elastic waistband. I hate to ask Atlas to buy things for me, but I guess the time has come for maternity clothing when stretchy pants can no longer stretch far enough.
I pull my hair up into a loose bun, drop my dirty clothes off in the hamper in my room, and go to Boyd’s room, which is empty. I’m sitting on the end of his bed when he comes in half a minute later, carrying a mug and a plate.
“I know you like cider in the evening, and I made toast for you.”
“Thank you. Why’d you do that?”
He shrugs and hands me the plate. “Comfort and calories. Figure you can use both.”
I don’t feel much like eating, but I appreciate the gesture, and he’s probably right about the calories, so I take a bite of the buttery, crisp toast. Boyd sits next to me, cradling the mug in his hand.
“Doing okay?” he asks after I’ve eaten one of the triangles.
“Tonight’s been quite the rollercoaster.”
Boyd makes a sound, not quite a laugh, that signals his agreement.
I pick up another piece of toast, then hold the plate out to him. “Can you eat the rest? I don’t want it to go to waste.”
He makes it disappear with a couple of big bites, then sits chewing, staring toward the blank wall across the room.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask.
“Hmm?” I’ve caught him lost in thought. He shakes his head as if he’s clearing it. “I’m okay.”
But he doesn’t quite meet my eyes.
I rub my hand over the cotton of his sleeve and squeeze the hard muscle beneath. “Boyd, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” he says. It’s obvious that something’s changed since the fun we shared in the workshop, but his withdrawal doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the press conference.
I set a hand on the side of his face, gently scratching my fingers over his beard. “I know you better than that. Tell me what’s wrong, Boyd.”
“I’m not going to make this about me. Not after the news.”
He glances at me, sees me patiently watching him, then stares back at the distant wall.
“I was prepared to want you, and to step back and never have you. But now that we’ve—” I rub his arm and encourage him to continue when he pauses.
“Now that we’ve been together, it gets under my skin even more when he touches you. ”
He means Atlas, obviously. “Boyd—”
“I’m not proud of how I feel,” he cuts in. “I’m not angry at him. Hell, I trust him with my life. I’d give mine up for him.” He inhales a ragged breath. “But I see his hand on you, or the way Viper was checking out your body tonight, and something in me goes feral. Possessive. Stupid.”
“That doesn’t make you bad,” I say softly.
“It makes me jealous,” he snaps. “There. I said it.”
I keep stroking his beard.
“I don’t want to want you this way,” he says. “I don’t want to measure myself against anyone. I don’t want to feel like I’m standing on the outside.”
“But you’re not outside.”
He shakes his head once. “Maybe not, but that’s how it feels.”
I take the mug out of his hands and set it on the bedside table, then wrap my arms around his waist. “You’re not competing. You’re included.”
His jaw clenches. “You say that like it’s simple.”
“No, I say it because it’s true.”
He draws in another rough breath. “I don’t know how to want you without wanting you all to myself.”
I press my face to his chest and rub his back. “I’m not asking you to stop wanting. But I hope you can make room.” Beneath my cheek, his heart is racing. “I’m not leaving you behind, Boyd.”
He closes his eyes for a second. “When I do things,” he says quietly. “I do them all the way.”
“I know. That’s one of the things I admire about you.”
“So I might not be able to stop being a jealous idiot.”
I slide my hand under the back of his shirt. “I’ll still be here.”
“Hell.” Boyd pushes his hand through his hair in a restless, unconscious motion. “You make jealousy seem like something I can survive.”
I set the plate beside the mug, then climb into his lap, straddling his thighs and wrapping my hands around his neck. “It’s a natural human emotion.” I kiss him, then tug on his bottom lip with my teeth. “Like desire.”
He slides his hands up my sides, bunching my pajama top. He kisses me back, then bends his head to find my nipples through the fabric, mouthing over them, nipping at them.
Beneath me, his cock grows and stiffens, and I make good use of it, needily rubbing myself against him.
“Found the condoms,” he tells me as he pulls my hair loose from the tie, letting it fall to my shoulders.
I work at the buttons on his shirt. “Good, because I think my internal parts need more diagnostic testing.” I grind down on the bulge in his jeans. “Got any big tools around that can do the job?”
That’s as far as our roleplay goes, because we both get too busy removing clothes, kissing, and touching each other. He’s standing when he rolls on the condom, and once it’s in place, he picks me up by my bottom, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist.
He slides a thumb over my pussy, and when he finds me wet and ready, he doesn’t waste any time lining up the head of his thick cock at my entrance.
“I’ll go easy,” he assures me, making it sound like the restraint will take effort.
I lay my hand on his cheek and give him a smile. “Not too easy, I hope.”
Gritting his teeth, he pushes into me slowly, inch by glorious inch. “Doing okay?” he asks when I’ve taken about six of them.
A joke about him testing how far I can stretch comes to mind, but I’m too focused on how good he feels to voice it.
When he buries all of himself inside me, he pauses, both of us savoring the moment.
Then he grinds my body against him, knowing exactly what to do to make me feel incredible.
Sensations build fast, and the next thing I know, I’m rocketing toward the peak of a mountain, all those sensations spiraling, multiplying, overtaking me in the best possible way.
He tilts my head to the side and sucks the bottom of my ear between his lips as he grinds inside me, and I go flying off into nothingness for a long, beautiful moment. I’m in my body fully, with no worries or thoughts of any kind, and it’s exactly what I needed.
When I eventually come back to myself, it’s in the awareness that I’m in Boyd’s arms, solid and safe.
“Doing okay?” he asks as my breathing settles.
“You tell me, Mr. Barrett. Everything check out in there?” I look down to where our bodies are joined, to the place where his cock stretches my pussy and disappears inside.
“Oh yeah. Everything’s real damn good, ma’am. Though I think you’re gonna need regular maintenance checks from here on out.”
“I sure hope so.” I nip at one of his cheeks and squeeze his shoulder, and then I remember his sprain. “Is this okay, with your injury?” I rub my hand over the spot I’d taped not that long ago.
“Whole thing could fall off and I’d still feel good right now.” A few pointed thrusts of his hips lend credence to his words.
I laugh as he starts to bounce my body on his cock, but my laughter turns to moans as he taps a spot inside me, over and over. I quickly build up to another orgasm, and when I shatter, Boyd is right with me, his hold firm on my hips as he empties himself inside me with long, deep thrusts.
Afterward, he cradles me in his arms under the covers, and I drift off to sleep like someone who doesn’t have a care in the world.