Chapter 42 Kira
KIRA
If I’d waited for the right moment, I might not have spoken at all.
The compound is buzzing with tension, and the air is tight with the anticipation of violence, but when I happen to find myself in the great room with the three of them, I decide I can’t go into what’s coming with any words unsaid.
“Hey,” I say softly.
All three of them look at me, all at once, and I have to steady myself.
“I need a minute,” I say. “Not—” I shake my head. “Not about plans or contingencies.”
Andrew straightens like he’s bracing himself. Boyd, who’s been pacing, comes to a stop mid-step. Silas looks wary, but he doesn’t move away.
“What’s wrong?” Boyd asks.
“Nothing.”
The three men exchange a look, years of shared history wordlessly passing between them.
Andrew nods once. “Okay. Minute’s yours.”
I step closer to them, resting one hand against Boyd’s chest and sliding the other around Andrew’s forearm. I don’t touch Silas at first, but I don’t look away from him, either.
“There’s something I need to say,” I begin, and suddenly, my heart feels too big for my chest. “What you’ve done for me, and for my daughter … you didn’t owe me anything, especially a place here …”
Silas’s gaze drops to the floor, then comes back to me.
“You believed me when it would have been easier not to,” I continue. “You protected me even when it complicated everything. And you didn’t just keep me alive.” I swallow. “You let me feel wanted. Not managed or handled. Wanted.”
Boyd draws in a long breath and exhales.
“You gave me a sense of home. More than I’ve had in a long time,” I say.
No one speaks for several seconds, then Andrew steps forward. He looks at me like he’s committing something to memory. “Kira, you didn’t come here empty-handed.”
I frown. “I—”
“You changed this place,” he says quietly. “We were functioning before you showed up, but it turns out that isn’t the same thing as living.”
Boyd steps in behind me, close enough that I feel his warmth. “We were surviving,” he says. “You make it feel like a lot more.”
Silas’s jaw tightens. For a second, it looks like he might step away, but he doesn’t. “You didn’t try to fix us,” he says, his voice low and rough. His gaze holds mine. “You saw us, and you stayed anyway.”
I blink fast and swallow hard.
Andrew settles his hand on my waist. “What we have is worth fighting for.”
Boyd slides a hand around my middle, resting it on my belly. “Turns out we’re better when we stop pretending we don’t want this.”
Silas hesitates a second before stepping closer, but when he touches me, there’s nothing tentative about it. “You’re not carrying anything alone anymore,” he says. “None of it.”
My heart cracks wide open as I lean into the three of them. They make a circle around me, warm, solid, and strong. Arms wrap around me, all of us woven together in a way that feels exactly right. Like home.
Andrew rests his forehead on mine. Boyd presses a kiss to my jaw. Silas slides his hand into mine and laces our fingers together, and I have to swallow a lump in my throat.
“I’m not afraid of what’s coming,” I whisper. “Not if we face it like this.”
“Neither am I,” Andrew says.
Boyd chuckles. “Hell of a time to get our priorities straight.”
Silas rubs my knuckles with his thumb. “The best time.”
I keep holding Silas’s hand, even when I turn to touch Boyd’s face, and to kiss him. I stroke a hand over Andrew’s rough cheek and kiss him next.
They’re all still gathered around me, and I don’t want the closeness to end. Not with any of them.
I draw in a breath and keep my voice level. “If this is the night before everything changes, I want to be held like this … by all of you.”
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until Andrew flexes his fingers, pressing into my hip, silently telling me he’s not letting go.
Boyd slides a hand under my shirt, caressing my back, making me warm and giving me chills all at the same time.
Andrew leads me over to the rug in front of the fireplace, and to my relief, Silas comes along. He’s not touching me beyond holding my hand, but I’m holding on loosely, and he’s choosing to stay.
Boyd eases my shirt off, pulling it over my head and kissing the bare skin on my back as it’s uncovered. Andrew keeps on kissing me, his hands caressing my arms, my face, grazing my chest, lighting little fires with every bit of contact.
I don’t want to press Silas into anything he’s uncomfortable with, but I don’t want to leave him out.
When I turn toward him to check in, he pulls my head closer and claims my mouth with a ferocity that surprises and quickly overwhelms me.
He wants me as much as I want him, even here with the others, and his kiss tells me he’s not going to hold back.
Someone cups my breasts as someone else peels the bra straps from my shoulders. Silas’s lips move from my mouth to my neck, and I moan.
Being with each of them individually has been wonderful.
What’s happening right now is so far beyond that I can’t fully process it.
Andrew takes my hand and brings me down to the floor, onto the big wool rug. Thoughtful as ever, Boyd nestles pillows around me for support and comfort, but I don’t need them. I feel incredible, and that only increases as the men descend on me, kissing, touching, licking, caressing.
As Andrew and Boyd lavish every inch of my upper body with affection, I feel, rather than see, Silas peel my pants off my hips and down my legs. A sound comes from low in his throat when he removes my underwear, leaving me fully bare to the three of them.
Without knowing these three men as well as I do, I might feel intimidated by their rugged power. I’m naked and at their mercy, but I feel utterly safe and cared for.
I feel completely accepted as I am.
Is it really possible that they need me as much as I need them?
There are so many aspects to that need, and right now, I need to be close to them. I want to show them how much they mean to me. How much they’re a part of me now. Now, and always, I hope.
I stroke their faces, squeeze their muscles, slide my fingers through their hair, and tell them how good everything they’re doing is making me feel.
Boyd has one of my breasts in his hand, squeezing gently as he flicks his tongue over my nipple, before sucking it into his mouth. Andrew strums his thumb over my other nipple while he kisses me deeply, with tender passion. Silas circles his tongue around my clit until I can barely catch my breath.
Together, the three of them take me to new heights and send me over the edge. My body lights up, shimmering with pleasure that inhabits every part of me, body and soul.
But these men aren’t satisfied with perfection. They continue on, doubling their efforts until I’m overcome once again, crying out, squeezing any of their arms or shoulders that I can grasp as my hips press up of their own accord and my body pulses with what feels like never-ending ecstasy.
They ease up then, giving me a much-needed chance to catch my breath. With the fire crackling and the rug soft beneath me, three men soothe me with impossibly tender touches while I recover.
When I can speak, I reach for them. “I want you,” I tell them. “I need you. All of you.”