Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Noah
The four of us sit around the table of a dive bar in silence, the events of the past few months weighing heavy on us all.
Life looks very different now than it did nearly six months ago.
We lost one of our team, our brother. Harry nearly lost his twin sister.
She lost her baby. So much loss; where do we go from here?
Harry is the first to break the suffocating silence.
“I’m going to leave the Marines.” He says it with such confidence, I know he’s serious. We all stare at him.
“Are you serious?” Jack asks.
“Yeah, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life,” Harry confirms, spinning his empty glass between his fingers.
“I’ve been thinking the same,” Brad admits.
Our gazes drift to him. He hasn’t been the same since we lost Scotty. Honestly, I don’t think any of us have. But it did something to Brad. I have no doubt he carries the same guilt I do that we couldn’t save him. We tried. But we couldn’t.
“Then let’s do it,” Harry says. “I replay that day over and over in my head. I don’t want to go through that again. I can’t lose one of you.” His voice grows shaky with every word, and Jack grips his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
“If we’re being honest, I’ve considered it too. Going back out there after the funeral, it did something to me, and I don’t know if this is what I want anymore,” Jack confesses. A silence falls again, and their eyes drift to me as if they were waiting for my confession, but it never comes.
“Noah,” Brad says. “How are you feeling about staying in?”
I swallow thickly. “I, um, I don’t think I’m ready to leave it all behind.”
They don’t push, and I’m thankful for that. They know my past and my reasons for joining. I’m just not ready to leave it all behind.
“I’ve requested to see the OC when we return to base next week,” Harry says.
“So, this isn’t just a fleeting thought? You’ve really thought about this?” Jack asks.
Harry nods.
“When did you decide?” Brad asks.
“When I got back, and I thought I’d lost my twin sister.” He clears his throat, eyes closing and face contorting in obvious pain. I can’t even begin to imagine how it would feel to find Ria like that. I lean over and squeeze his hand, letting him know we are here for him.
“I should have been there to help her. She’s lost so much, and seeing her like that, the fear of losing her, that must be what she went through and what she goes through every time I leave.
She’s been through enough; we’ve all been through enough.
I’m not putting her through that anymore. I’m done.”
“I think we all have things to think about,” Jack says with a big exhale, before taking the final sip of his drink.
He’s right. Decisions need to be made; choices decided.
Part of me wants to leave, maybe even set up the bar in a sunny state that we have talked about for years.
Live an easy life. But then there is the pull to keep running and stay in this life.
Here, I feel like I have a purpose. I have a place.
In the outside world, I don’t fit anywhere.
Now I have a decision to make: do I stay or do I go with them?