Chapter 50
Chapter Fifty
Tori
Call it a woman’s intuition or a mother’s instinct, but when I see two dark pink lines staring back at me on the bathroom counter, I don’t freak out, I don’t panic.
I just quietly accept it as I sink to the floor of my bathroom, clutching the stick in the palm of my hand as I process the reality of my situation.
I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with Noah’s baby.
I wait for the tears, I wait for the fear to take hold, but it doesn’t. I think I’m too numb. Too in shock to truly feel anything in this moment.
Pregnant.
I had a feeling a few days ago when Noah and I were making love, and he squeezed my breasts. The tenderness and pain that shot through me brought me back to the first time I was pregnant, and my breasts ached in the same way.
I have taken my pill religiously, but after a call to my doctor to discuss my symptoms, he explained that the pill needed to be taken at the exact same time every day to be most effective. Between the time zones I’ve been living in, I have been going almost a full day without taking one.
Shit.
He urged me to take a test, and I have put it off for the past few days, but we are leaving for the airport in just a few hours, and I needed to know before we left England to go tell our friends and family about us.
Pregnant, I’m pregnant. A little piece of me and Noah is growing inside of me, and when that thought settles, the fear creeps in. What if I lose this baby like I did my first? What if something happens to Noah before he has a chance to leave the special forces? I give myself a mental shake.
No, we are not doing this, Tori. We are stronger than this.
I’m not where I was. I am not the woman I was all those years ago. I have Noah, and I have complete faith he’s going to be by my side through it all. I don’t have to do this alone.
I rest my hand over my stomach and close my eyes, saying a prayer to whoever may be listening up there.
Please, please don’t take this one from me. I’m not sure I’ll survive it.
Tears trickle down my cheeks, and my body trembles. A mix of fear, anxiety, and excitement works its way through my body.
I just need to figure out how I’m going to tell Noah.