Chapter 5
Lucy
Something is wrong.
I can feel it.
Everyone's trying too hard to act normal.
Lexi keeps giving me these careful smiles as she leaves the room to avoid talking to me.
Jake disappears when I walk into a room without making eye contact.
Even Noah has been weirdly quiet, like he's waiting for something to explode. And Grace? Grace won't meet my eyes.
Finally, I corner her in the laundry room, while folding towels like my sanity depends on it.
"What's going on?" I demand.
Grace freezes. Her jaw tightens as if she's trying to hold something back. She is my sister, and we don't keep things from each other. So, if she is holding something in, it's big.
"Grace. Don't do this. Don't lie to me."
She sighs, closing the dryer door slowly. "He's here."
My stomach drops. "Caden?"
She nods. "He got in two nights ago. Lexi and Jake have been keeping it quiet. They didn't want to overwhelm him. He's in one of the private rehab rooms."
I feel like I've been sucker-punched. Two nights. He’s been here for two days, and no one told me.
"Where is he?" I ask.
"Lucy…"
"Where?"
She gives me the room number, and I storm out before she can stop me.
I find Lexi in the kitchen, stirring a pot on the stove.
"You knew," I accuse.
She sets the spoon down slowly. "Lucy…"
"Don't. Don't talk to me like I'm a kid. Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Because he didn't want to see you yet. He asked for space. He's... he's struggling."
"I don't care. I'm not some girl he hooked up with and forgot. I'm the mother of his child. I deserve to see him. And he deserves to know."
Lexi meets my gaze, something soft in her eyes. "Then go. But be ready, Lucy. He's not the same."
I nod, turning on my heel, heart racing.
Though I pause in the hallway, making sure the sweatshirt I'm wearing covers my belly. I don't want him to find out like this. Taking a deep breath, I keep walking.
The door is cracked open. Enough to see him.
He's in a hospital bed, the kind with buttons and rails and wires trailing out of it. His hair's longer. There's a beard starting on his jaw. He's staring out the window, like he's trying to pretend the world beyond the glass is real, and this one isn't.
My heart cracks. I push the door open softly.
His head snaps around.
For a second, just a breath, something flickers in his eyes. Like he's glad. Like he remembers everything we were.
Then it's gone.
"Lucy. You shouldn't be here."
I step inside anyway. "I just wanted to see you. To make sure you're okay."
He looks away. "I'm not. And you being here doesn't help."
That hurts more than I expected.
"Caden…"
He cuts me off, his voice sharp. "I said go."
But I don't move. I study the rigid line of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders, the way his hand clenches the blanket.
"You don't get to shut me out."
He turns back, finally looking at me. His eyes are darker than I remember, shadowed with pain. "I don't want you to see me like this."
"Like what? Alive?"
"Like less."
I take a step closer. "You're not less, Caden. Not to me. Not ever."
His jaw clenches. "You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me."
"Don't you dare. I've loved you since before all this. I didn't fall for your leg, or your arm, or anything that can be broken. I fell for you."
He flinches like I hit him.
"You need to go."
"You can't push me away forever."
"Watch me."
I swallow hard. My voice cracks. "I'll be back. Whether you like it or not."
He doesn't respond. Just turns away again.
I leave, holding myself together until I round the corner, and then fall apart.
It's two days later when it all explodes.
I'm in the kitchen with Lexi, trying to help prep dinner, when Jake walks in, looking grim.
"He knows about the baby," Jake says quietly.
Lexi drops her spoon. "Oh God."
I grip the counter. "How?"
"He found one of your letters. The ones you didn't send. Pretty sure Mom packed it by accident when she grabbed the one you asked her for from your desk, back when she was getting his stuff ready to take to Germany."
My stomach flips.
Jake hesitates. "He wants to talk to you. But he's pissed, Lucy. Really pissed."
I nod. Even though I expected this, I didn't think it would come so fast.
I find him sitting in a wheelchair in his room, staring at the TV but not really watching it.
He doesn't look at me as I step into his room and close the door behind me.
"You lied to me."
I flinch. "I didn't lie. I just... I didn't know how to tell you."
When he holds up the letter, his hand shakes.
"You made that decision for me. You kept this from me."
Swallowing, my voice is barely above a whisper. "I didn't do it to hurt you. I did it because I needed you to come home. I needed you alive, Caden. And I was terrified that if I told you, you'd be distracted or reckless or…"
"So, you just decided I didn't have the right to know about my own kid?"
Tears well in my eyes, but I don't even try to stop them.
"You weren't here to make that choice. You were gone. And then the letters stopped. And I thought I lost you. I was scared and alone."
He finally looks at me, his eyes hard. "You think I wanted to be silent? I was unconscious and in surgery. I couldn't hold a pen. I would've given anything to get a letter out. Anything."
My eyes burn. "I'm sorry. How could I know? I thought ... I thought maybe you'd changed your mind about us."
He looks away, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Well. Now you do."
Stepping closer, I plead. "I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect us both."
"And in the process, you stole something from me. You robbed me of that first moment. You took away my chance to feel what you felt when you found out. You carried it alone and decided I didn't deserve to know."
My breath catches. "I didn't want you to feel guilty, or scared, or responsible when you had so much already on your shoulders."
"It wasn't your choice to make." His voice cracks on the last word.
I want to go to him. To hold him. But I can feel this wall between us, and I don't know how to get over it to get to him.
"You think I don't hate myself already? For not being here? For missing everything? And now... now I find out this way? From a letter you never even sent?"
Tears sting my eyes. "I was waiting for the right time."
"There's no right time, Lucy. Just the truth. You should have told me the second you knew."
"I know," I whisper. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He stares at the ground, jaw clenched, chest heaving.
"I would've loved hearing about the baby from the first second. You didn't even give me that."
Sinking to the ground in front of him, my hands tremble as I beg. "Then let me give it to you now. Let me share this with you. Please."
His eyes finally meet mine. And for a moment, I see the man who kissed me under the stars, who whispered Sunshine like it meant something sacred.
But he's also the man who's hurting. Who's lost and scared and raw.
Without saying anything, he closes his eyes and turns his face away.
As I’m opening the door to leave, he whispers so low I barely hear it.
"I needed something to hold on to over there. Something real."
I stand there in the silence, not reaching for him. Not yet.
Because I know some pain needs space before it can be touched.
That night, I curl up on the porch swing on the back porch of Oakside. It's one of my favorite places to stargaze. Settling in, I pull one of his letters from the stack I've read a hundred times. I don't cry. Not yet.
Grace finds me like that.
She sits beside me, tucking her legs under her.
"You talked to him?"
I nod.
She leans her head on my shoulder. "How bad was it?"
"Worse than I thought. Better than I feared. He's angry and broken. But he's still in there, somewhere. I saw a few glimpses of the man I love."
Grace sighs. "It's gonna take time."
I let the silence stretch, then whisper, "I thought if I just kept things calm, no one would notice I'm breaking too."
Grace reaches for my hand. "You don't have to be a hero, Luc. You're allowed to fall apart."
For just a moment, I let myself lean into her.
"I miss him," I whisper. "The him before. The way he used to look at me."
"That guy's still in there. You just have to keep reminding him he's worth fighting for."
I nod, breathing through the lump in my throat. We sit there on the swing, the creak of the chains the only sound for a long time.
Grace finally stands. "Come on. Let's go inside before Lexi sends out a search party."
But I stay a minute longer, staring up at the stars.
And wondering if he's doing the same thing, just a few rooms away.
The next night I go to Oakside and walk the halls to see if I can be of any use. In all honesty, my heart just wants to be closer to Caden.
When I walk past Caden's room, his door’s ajar. So I pause.
He doesn't see me.
He's in the bed, hunched over. One hand gripping something tightly, paper, I realize. One of my letters. His shoulders shake. Not violently. Just enough to break my heart.
He's crying. Not loud. Not messy. Silent, like he's trying to keep it all inside but failing.
His face is turned just enough for me to see it. Eyes clenched. Lips pressed into a line. The paper in his hand crumpled with the force of his grip.
I press my fingers to my lips, holding back the sob that rises in my chest.
With everything in me, I want to go to him. I want to wrap my arms around him and say it's okay to fall apart.
But I don't.
Not yet.
Instead, I take one step back. Then another.
Because sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is let someone break in peace.
And promise to be there when they're ready to be put back together.