Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Viktor
We have the next day off. Coach wants us to sleep, relax, and hydrate.
A few of the guys are going to a Mets game but I have my parents to think about and I don’t particularly care for baseball.
I know they expect to spend the day together but I’m still annoyed about them giving away Holly’s ticket to Moulin Rouge and the way Olga tried to ambush me last night.
The evening went in a direction I didn’t anticipate, but now that Holly and I have become physically intimate, I need to set boundaries, both with Olga and my mother.
I think I was pretty clear with Olga last night but my mother will undoubtedly need more convincing.
Since Olga had the audacity to question the validity of the marriage, I’m going to have to dig up documents when we get back to Atlanta. Which is fine. Just another annoyance.
Sometimes I wish my mother was like some of my teammates’ mothers.
Kind. Supportive. Loving. I get very little of that from my parents.
My father enjoys hanging out with me for the yearly dads’ trips or any time we’re with my teammates, but beyond that, he doesn’t say much.
The flip side of that is my mother’s constant need to control as much of my life as possible.
Living far away helped.
Moving in with West—where she had absolutely no say in the way the house was run—was also helpful.
In retrospect, I know I let her manipulate me out of guilt.
My parents did sacrifice a lot so that I could become the hockey player I am today, but I’ve sent them more money in the last five years than they made in their entire lives before that.
I take care of them and have no plans to stop.
Hell, I’d give them even more to let me live my life as I see fit.
Instead, I’m playing a dangerous game with myself—and now with Holly. Our lives have already become entangled in almost every way, so I’m going to have to think about what to do going forward.
Sex with her was…intense. I like to get a little rough and apparently so does she. We’re compatible in so many ways, I’m having a tough time remembering that the marriage isn’t real. Because after last night, it sure as fuck feels real.
If only I could be the man for her.
I want to be.
I just don’t think I’m capable of it.
The fact that I’ve never been in love as an adult tells me that I’m either broken or just one of those men that doesn’t feel things that deeply.
At least, not when it comes to women. I care about my friends and family, but romance and love and anything that requires getting my heart involved… well, I just don’t have it in me.
And that’s wholly unfair to someone like Holly.
Unless…I suppose I need to consider that I never felt that way because I never met the right person before. It’s strange to imagine that she might be the one I didn’t know I was waiting for. The one who’s special in ways I never considered.
I turn onto my side to look at her.
She’s fast asleep, on her side facing away from me, her hair a tangled mess around her head.
And yet, she still takes my breath away.
Her bare shoulder all but calls to me, and as I lean in I see the mark I left on her neck.
I wince, wondering how she feels about that kind of thing.
It’s in a place almost impossible to hide in the summer, and I feel a twinge of guilt.
I totally took advantage of her last night.
Yes, she gave consent. Yes, she was into it. And yes, she happily slept in my arms.
The question now is where we go from here. There’s no going back, unless she feels strongly about it, which means we’re moving into unfamiliar territory. She hasn’t told me a lot about her past but I’m willing to bet she’s been in love, been in serious relationships. I have not.
My fiancée and I were set up and spent most of our relationship living on opposites sides of the planet.
By the time we were getting married, she’d already moved on.
The way she handled it begs the question—what did I do wrong?
I understand all the surface-level issues, like not wanting to live in the US for an indeterminate length of time, and that we didn’t know each other too well.
But I wasn’t abusive or mean and I spoiled her rotten.
What did I do to deserve the way she ended it?
That’s the part that haunts me, makes me doubt myself.
My phone rings and though I try to grab it before it can wake Holly, she stirs just as I answer.
“Good morning, Mama.”
“Are we going to brunch?”
“Yes, if you like. Did you pick a place?” She mentioned this the other day but I told her I wouldn’t know my schedule until the last minute.
“Yes.” She mentions a well-known deli that isn’t too far from here.
“We can meet in an hour,” I say.
“Thirty minutes,” she corrects. “We are ready to go.”
I sigh but figure this is the least of my problems. “All right. See you in the lobby.”
“I get the feeling we are not going to spend a lazy morning in bed,” Holly says with a soft smile.
“Sadly, no.” I reach out and skim my fingers along her cheek.
“Where are we going?”
I give her the details and she sits up. “I need to take a quick shower. I’m a mess!”
“Go ahead. What are they going to do? Leave without me?”
She smiles, slides out of bed, and pads into the bathroom.
I watch the sway of her hips as she walks, and I’m tempted to follow her but we’ll be extremely late if I join her in the shower. It’s disappointing but we probably need to talk about last night before I make any assumptions about what things will be like in the future.
I’m probably overthinking things.
She’s an adult who obviously enjoys sex.
We’re married for the next year.
There’s no reason we can’t indulge in that kind of intimacy.
Right?
I pull on khaki shorts, a polo shirt, socks, and sneakers. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, grateful for the shower curtain hiding the gloriously naked body on the other side of it. My dick starts getting hard just thinking about her and I get out of there as quickly as I can.
There’s a buzz on my phone and a message from my mother.
MAMA: Is it possible that she doesn’t come to brunch?
VIKTOR: She? You mean my wife? No, it is not possible that I leave my wife behind.
MAMA: We would just like some time with our only son. Is this too much to ask?
VIKTOR: You should want to be getting to know your new daughter.
MAMA: Please tell me this is just a joke to get me to stop meddling. Please tell me the marriage isn’t real.
VIKTOR: It’s very real. We’ll see you downstairs in a few minutes.
I put the phone down and start to pace.
“You okay?” Holly comes out of the bathroom in white shorts, a pink top, pink sandals, and a pink baseball cap on her head. She’s not wearing much in the way of makeup, maybe some mascara, and her hair is in a ponytail, but she’s absolutely gorgeous.
“My mother makes me…nervous. I feel like she is going to do something bad.”
She laughs. “Come on—unless she plans to physically attack me or something, what’s she going to do? Dump her drink in my lap? Call me names?” She waves a hand. “Now let’s go—we have three minutes to get downstairs.”
“Yes.” I grab my wallet and sunglasses and reach for her hand. “We must talk about last night.”
“Why?” she asks, eyes meeting mine curiously.
“I want to be sure you are…okay.” I pause in front of the elevator and look down into her face.
“It was just sex, Viktor. In case you didn’t notice, I wasn’t a virgin. I’m fine. I mean, it was inevitable, don’t you think? Sleeping in the same bed, spending all our time together, all the holding hands and stuff…but it doesn’t have to change anything. We’re adults. Right?”
I stare for a beat, momentarily confused.
Just sex.
Is that all it was?
Maybe I am overthinking everything.
But there’s no time to say anything more because we’re not alone on the elevator and when we get to the lobby, my parents and Aunt Irina are waiting.
“Olga went with her friend,” Mama says in Russia. “She was not comfortable with your…wife.”
I shrug. “That’s fine with me.”
“Hello.” Holly has a soft, friendly smile and I hate that she has to try so hard while my family all but ignores her.
“Okay. Let’s go. Shall we walk or take an Uber? It’s about four long blocks.”
“I would prefer a car.”
I nod and pull out my phone.
It’s going to be a long day.