18. Leila
Leila
I t feels like a dream, the good kind that I never want to wake from. The scents of sandalwood and something purely Drew wrap around me as snug as the arm across my chest. The satisfied sigh that slips out as I settle into the warmth at my back pulls a soft chuckle from Drew.
“Mornin’, sunshine,” he whispers with a kiss to my head and…
“Are you sniffing me?” I ask, a giggle bubbling up.
He sniffs my neck this time, purposely exaggerating the action. “Mhmm. Smells like summertime and heaven.” The hand banded around my stomach starts to trail up my chest to cup my breast, reminding me of why I had to wake from the first sound night of sleep I’ve had in forever.
“As much as I’d love to let you do that, please don’t.”
Drew pulls his arm back, his hand resting on my side as I tilt my head to see him better.
“My boobs are about to explode,” I whisper, another giggle covering the words as Drew’s lips meet mine in a tender kiss. As he rolls to hover over me, I wrap my arms around his neck before hooking my leg around his hip.
Yep. These boobs are definitely about to explode.
As if he can read my thoughts—and let’s be real: he probably can—Drew sighs, dropping his forehead to mine.
“Go feed the princess, sunshine. Then we can go grab a bite.”
The trill of a ringtone cuts through the room, interrupting the intimacy of the moment. He answers, and something about the look on Drew’s face as whatever the person on the other end of the line says registers puts me on edge.
“I’ll be there soon. Just close off the entrance to the big field and make sure no one opens the gate closest to the barn until I get there,” he says before ending the call and searching for his clothes.
“What happened?” I ask, already pulling clean clothes from the pile on top of my dresser.
“That was Gavin. Havoc is loose in one of the big fields and no one can catch him.”
“Is he contained or literally running around an open field?”
“It’s fenced. He’s running the fence line, though. Probably trying to get back to his small paddock.”
“Give me a few to get Kaia ready and to grab my pump.”
“You don’t have to—"
“He doesn’t trust anyone, right? But he nuzzles me, lets me brush him. I understand being wary of people better than most, and he senses that. So, I’m going with you, cowboy.”
“I love it when you’re bossy.”
***
When Drew’s pickup finally rolls to a stop in front of the old red barn, Gavin and another guy who looks vaguely familiar are waiting for us.
“That’s Reece, Jett’s brother,” Drew says as he puts the truck in park.
“One of the new guys put Havoc in the open field by the arena. He’s freaked out, running the fence line, snorting and hollering.Won’t come anywhere close to the gate.”
“Does he have a halter on at least?”
Reece nods. “Yeah, by some miracle. With the way he bolted from the kid, I was sure he’d snap the leather.”
Gavin steps forward, taking the infant carrier from me, a sleeping Kaia oblivious to the goings-on.
“Kaia and I’ll go hang in my office so we aren’t a distraction.
Just holler if you need me.” As he heads deeper into the admin portion of the barn, Reece tosses a thumb over his shoulder. “What do you need from the guys?”
“Tell everyone to stay away from this area. No power tools. No four-wheelers.”
“Will do.”
As Reece disappears around the corner to pass the word along, I follow Drew’s tense form through the main entrance into the barn.
“Stay back from Havoc unless I tell you to step in.”
“I can handle myself around young horses, Drew.”
Before I can blink, Drew spins around and grabs me by the hips, pressing my back firmly against a stall front, the metal hay door solid against my spine. When I glance up, my breath catches.
Scratch that. My lungs come to a full halt at the emotions swirling in Drew’s deep-blue eyes. As his forehead drops to mine, a shaky breath slips from his lips. His good arm brackets my head while the other hand gently strums up and down my side.
“Hey,” I whisper, my hand cupping his five o’clock shadow.
Drew’s eyes are closed now, tension lines looking almost painful, but he hums his acknowledgment.
“Just want you to know, any other man would have gotten knee to the balls for grabbing me like that.”
The huff of an exasperated laugh draws some of the tension from his shoulders.
Mission successful.
I weave my fingers into the curs at the base of his neck, the ones sticking out from under his hat, and tug. “Just because I’ve been away does not mean I’ve forgotten how to handle myself around young horses. I’m a big girl, Drew. I was born and raised in this barn, just like you.”
“I know, sunshine. I do. It’s just…Havoc.”
“Me and Havoc are buddies, remember? You’re the one who still owes him apologies.”
He nods in defeat before dropping a kiss to my forehead and stepping back. “Let’s go catch us a fiery red colt.”
The next few minutes happen in such a flash that I’mstruggling to wrap my head around it.
One minute, we are both at the gate watching Havoc kick and whinny as his body shakes with nervous energy.
Then whether he catches our scents or hears our approach, I don’t know, but his entire body settles.
The arched, bulging muscles in his neck seem to shrink by half as he takes to breathing heavily, his ears flicking back and forth.
When the traumatized three-year-old takes steps in our direction, neck and back supple,ears forward, I say a prayer that Drew doesn’t faint from the shock of it.
This horse just soothed something in Drew with the simple action of expressing his trust to the man who was certain he had ruined the timid redhead.
And when that same gelding gently bumps his head into Drew’s outstretched hand?
Neither of us has dry eyes.
Drew clips the lead rope to Havoc’s halter while stroking the soft skin of Havoc’s muzzle. When Havoc lips at Drew’s pocket in search of a peppermint, Drew glances at me through damp lashes.
“Not a word, sunshine,” he mumbles as he pulls out three soft mints that Havoc immediately steals on our walk back into the barn.
We’re almost home free, close enough that I have Havoc’s stall open. Havoc walked like a champ from the field, past the arena, into the barn, and down the barn aisle without an issue.
Until a farmhand cranks up the old tractor at the other end of the barn.
It happens in less than ten seconds, but it feels like slow motion.
Havoc rears and rocks his massive shoulder into Drew on the way up.
The momentum slings Drew into the stall wall, knocking him off his feet, but the rope is looped around his hand.
All my mind can conjure is Havoc coming back down on top of Drew.
Or worse, giving into the instinct to run while Drew is still caught in the lead rope.
Fighting past the panic because it won’t help anything, I do my best to keep my tone conversational.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. “Didn’t you learn at, like, three years old to not wrap a lead rope around your hand for reasons exactly like this?
” I ask as I snag the quick release knot on the halter.
Thank God whoever put it on him tied it correctly.
Drew’s blue eyes squint up at me as he tries to breathe through the pain and not finding my statement the slightest bit amusing. “Something like that,” he groans.
As soon as the pressure on his poll releases, Havoc settles back onto all four hooves.
“Such a good boy.” I spread my arms wide and step behind his shoulder, effectively corralling him into the stall before shutting and latching the door. “You too, Havoc.”
“ She’s got jokes. I’m on the ground, and she’s got jokes,” Drew huffs to himself.
“Just trying to make sure you’re still coherent,baby,” I shoot back, checking him over for any visible injuries as my heart tries to come out my throat and drop into my stomach at the same time.
“I’m fi—”
“Don’t you dare tell me you’re fine right now, Andrew Malakai.”
He winces, and a small part of me hopes it’s from my words rather than the physical pain I know he feels right now. Taking a deep breath to settle the adrenaline that has finally made its appearance, I squat in front of Drew and tilt his chin until our eyes meet.
“Tell me what you need, cowboy.”
“Vicodin,” he shoots back without pause.
“Ha! Funny guy.”
His lips quirk up just enough to ease the vise around my heart. “A little funny. A little serious.”
I groan at his ability to joke in the face of pain. “I need to know what to do here, Drew.
Seriously. Do I call 911? Drive you to the closest hospital? What?”
“Is taking me home and giving me a sponge bath a viable option?”
An undignified squeak flies out, and I’m not sorry for swatting at his uninjured side in disbelief at his misplaced humor. Even if the image does make me want to…
You know what? Not the time nor the point.
“It isn’t even ten in the morning. Can you please take pity on my post-partum hormones and give me a straight answer?”
Drew tucks a loose hair behind my ear before cradling my jaw, the callouses on his palm helping to ground me as I fight off the budding panic. It’s funny (not really) how I can get through an emergency, but the result is usually a full-on freakout breakdown moment.
“I can get to the truck. Get Kaia and drive us to my parents’ house.
We’ll call Kristen and let her put that old trauma nurse experience to good use.
” He grunts in discomfort as he shifts to his knees before standing and offering me a hand.
I ignore it, pushing myself to my feet before folding myself into Drew’s chest.
“You swore you’d do what it takes to stay healthy.You won’t let the doctor do the surgery you need.
And you want me to brush this under the rug like you didn’t just get slammed by a thousand-plus-pound hooved animal and joke about pain meds,” I say, my voice getting more and more heated as I talk.
Stepping out of his arms, I cross mine under my too-full breasts as I let the anger and fear mingle.
Drew is apparently triggered by this line of conversation as well. His already tall frame stretches up. I’m pretty sure he’d square his shoulders at me if it wouldn’t make the situation physically worse for himself.
“Don’t accuse me without the facts, Leila Grace,” he says, his tone low and gravely. “I have been one hundred percent clean and sober for months . It’d have been a hell of a lot sooner had I known about Kaia.”
I should walk away right now. Go get Gavin from his office or hunt down Reece or Declan. We should wait until both of us have a few minutes to breathe and think rationally, but we are nothing if not stubborn.
“No. Don’t you dare bring our daughter into this,” I snap. “I need to be able to trust you. If this is too much, if you’re going to try to use Kaia to justify or excuse your actions, tell me now. I refuse to be responsible for putting you in a position that threatens your healing.”
Drew almost looks stricken before steeling himself and locking down his emotions. “But that’s exactly what you did, isn’t it, Leila? You showed up, with our daughter , knowing damn well I didn’t have a clue—”
“I didn’t know you never listened to my messages,” I interject.
“Then you must have even less faith in me than I’dthought. You honestly think I would have stayed away if I’d known I had a daughter? That I wouldn’t have stepped up?”
The silence is tense, growing more and more so by the second. Even Havoc has quieted in his stall, choosing to stand as far from us as he can.
I want to take it back, erase the last ten minutes—hell, the last two hours—and put him at ease. But it means more than that to me. He means more than that to me.
I refuse to let a lack of communication ever come between us again. Instead of storming off, instead of slinging my worries in his face, I pause. It’s a moment of growth. Instead of hiding behind the walls I’ve built, I let them all come crumbling down as every vulnerability shines through.
“I’m terrified of losing you again, Drew.”
A crack in his armor finally shows as his chin dips to his chest and he opens his arms in offering. I gladly let his strength surround me, thankful he isn’t letting this argument drive a wedge too deep.
“What do you say we get Kaia, go to my parents’ house, and I let Kristen be the judge of what to do next?”
I nod, melting back into his embrace and accepting the compromise for the peace offering it is. “I can live with that.”