Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
D’Var
M y mate is trembling, I am afraid I said too much, but she needed to hear these words. She needs to hear how I see her, so she can start to see herself that way. I may be a Warrior, but I am not an idiot. I see she is hurting; I see how broken she is feeling. And I may not know how to fix her, but I can give her this. It is what my heart tells me she needs.
“Would you like me to help you with your hair?” I ask her and she blinks up at me. Her eyes are a pale green, not a color that you find in the Galaxies, so I can imagine it made her a rarity.
“I can fix it,” I say again.
“You can?” she asks, surprised. I nod.
“I have oils, and a comb. I can even braid it for you if you’d like to.” She smiles and it is glorious.
"Yes, please!" she exclaims. “I would really love that, D’Var. ”
My heart is glowing, and I grin at her. “I can do it now? We can go to my room; I have all the items there.” She is biting her lip again and I wait patiently. She will make the choice that is best for her and I will love her either way.
“Okay,” she says. I mentally check in with T’Rak, he is his grumpy self and instructs me to take good care of my mate. I quickly take two bottles of water from the fridge, then I lead L’Ren towards my room.
L’Ren is quite a bit smaller than I am, but I will make it work. I grab the pillows from my bed and put them on the floor, so we can sit and look out at the stars. Then I get my kit and take a seat, with my back against the bed. I look up at L’Ren who is still standing in my doorway, unmoving.
“You need to sit before me, this will be the best position, because you are so tiny.” This causes a reaction, and her cheeks start to redden once more, ‘blushing’ she called it.
“I am not tiny. I am actually pretty tall for a human woman,” she huffs and plants herself in front of me. She crosses her legs, and I can easily wrap mine around her, but I do not want to crowd her so I keep them open.
I start with the oil. I massage it into her hair. I work up from the bottom, so that I can smooth the biggest tangles out as I work. When I get to her scalp, I use the oil on her head as well and I massage it into the skin. She moans and I freeze.
“Did I hurt you? I am so sorry, my Zarra.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” she murmurs. It sounds more like a combination of syllables than actual words. “Don’t stop.”
I grin, she must really like it then. I sniff and I only smell her delectable scent, no fear at all. I gently massage her head and when I have absolutely no more excuses to touch her any longer, I grab my bone comb. It is a very old comb, used on our home planet before the destruction and almost the only thing my mother could take with her when she fled. I decide to tell L’Ren about my mother as I softly begin to comb her hair.
“The comb I am using is my mother’s. She is a proud and fierce woman. When our home planet was destroyed, this was all she took with her.”
“What happened to your planet?” she asks, and I sigh. She needs to know this, she needs to know about our race, so I take a breath and begin the sad story about the Warriors of Arracate.
Lauren
“We Arracate have always been the fiercest of warriors,” D’Var begins. “A long time ago we were living on our home planet of Arracate. It was a good planet, green, prosperous and the people were happy. Arracate are only male. We mate with different species, and our planet has always been a refuge for species who lost their home due to war or conflict.”
He pauses, for a few seconds his focus is solely on stroking his comb through my hair. I let the silence settle between us and let myself enjoy his touch.
“Our cities were always filled with laughter and life,” D’Var continues. “Lots of different species, and tribes. Everyone lived together peacefully.”
“The Warriors did not only defend our own planet, but we also often assisted nearby planets when unfriendly species wanted to conquer them, therefore we have a lot of allies. Sadly, we also have some pretty serious enemies, one of them has decided it would be their life’s mission to destroy all Warriors of Arracate. ”
I gasp. “D’Var…” I start, my voice skips from emotion, my heart breaks for him. He seems so sad. I want to hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay, but I hold back. He told me it is not a happy story, I know everything will not be okay in the end.
He gently squeezes my shoulder. “It is okay, L’Ren. It’s been a long, long time and I consider myself lucky to have known the peace of Arracate. There was an energy from inside the planet that gave us our strength and soothed our souls. A lot like the peace we find when we meet our mate. But I will talk about mates later.”
I nod and he goes back to untangling my hair.
“The Sternotheri are creatures fueled by greed. They want to own, to possess and to destroy. We fought them a couple of times when assisting our allies. It was always in space, until we were asked to save a small colony of Zhurgards on a nearby moon. Their home planet had become uninhabitable because of pollution and their people were spread throughout the quadrant. The Sternotheri got wind of the colony and occupied their settlement. When we got there they already showed their worst side to the colonists by killing the men and enslaving the women and children. The Sternotheri are great fighters, but we were able to kill them all.”
I touch his upper leg without thinking about it and look at his expression in the reflection of the windows. “You were there?” I ask, but I already know the answer.
“Yes,” he says. “I saw firsthand the death and destruction they bring. We rescued the colonists, but I don’t know if they were ever the same after what happened to them.” He caresses my head with his fingers, finds more tangles and goes back to working the comb through.
“What we did not know was that one of the Sternotheri we killed was the son of their High Commander. Though they do not truly care for anybody, he was furious about it and declared war on the Arracate. They came for our planet.
The battle started in space, just outside our atmosphere. They outnumbered us, but we were superior in technology and battle. When our allies joined, they did not stand a chance and retreated.” His voice dies away, and he is deep in thought before he continues. The comb forgotten in his hand, and his head far away in the memory.
“As we celebrated the victory, they came again. We still do not know how they did it, but they managed to send a blast of lethal energy to our planet’s core. You should not be able to destroy a healthy planet like that, but somehow, they did. It was pure chaos. The core of the planet melted, the ground shook and splintered, and it just broke apart. We managed to evacuate some of the citizens by putting as many as possible on our ships.”
D'Var’s voices is hoarse, his speech is faltering, clearly he feels like he is back there. I look at his reflection in the window and see a far away look in his eyes. My heart hurts for him, the need to comfort him somehow is getting stronger with every word he tells me.
He lets out an audible breath and continues.
“We watched the planet explode from just outside the atmosphere. Then there was so much chaos. We had to fight against the pull of the black hole as it tried to suck us in. We were lucky. T’Rak is an amazing pilot and he got us out of there. Not many of us made it out alive.”
He sighs.
“D’Var,” I whisper, and then I turn around in his embrace and hug him. The devastation is rolling off him in waves, his tail restless at his side, and I can’t not touch him, not comfort him. His arms come around my waist pulling me against him. And I let him. I let him take the comfort he needs from me, because even though we don’t really know each other, he has already given me so much. I am desperate to be the one doing the giving.
We hold onto each other and stay silent for quite some time. When he finally lets me go, his eyes are dancing with stars, swirling around in the black. He gently caresses my cheek.
“I apologize,” he says. “I got carried away, we do not talk about what happened often and it felt like it was happening all over again.”
This big warrior is sharing his feelings with me? My beat-down heart does a little flutter, and I almost feel something cracking in the walls I have built around it. Almost, because the voice of reason in my head is winning, and I shyly shrug out of his embrace. I keep holding his hand though, not wanting to lose the connection completely.
“It’s okay, D’Var. I can’t pretend to know what that must have been like for you, to see such destruction and to lose everything in such a fatal way. But I can imagine the hurt and the fear and the anger you must have felt. Tell me what happened next.”
D’Var gently squeezes my hand and then he gestures to me to sit back down on the ground. “Please sit, L’Ren, I can finish your hair and tell the story at the same time.”
I do as he asks and within no time, I feel his fingers combing through my hair.
“The Sternotheri tried to hunt us right after the destruction, but our ships were intact, and we were still superior to their forces. They had no other choice than to retreat, but to this day they are set on destroying every Arracate Warrior left.”
“Right after the destruction of our Home Planet we met on the surface of the planet of one of our allies. Our King did not survive the destruction, so we had to decide our next steps in consensus with each other. Because of the immediate danger, we decided to split up. The women and children were taken to secret locations while the remaining Warriors teamed up in crews. We have one mission now, to destroy the Sternotheri so we can be reunited with our people to live in peace once again.”
His story has gutted me. I feel silent tears streaming down my face. Still, I am glad he trusted me with the story of his people. It could not have been easy to share so much grief.
All the while D’Var is still combing my hair. It is almost entirely untangled, and I think the act of him combing my hair is therapeutic for both of us. When he’s done, he hands me the comb and starts digging through his kit. Absent mindedly I caress the comb with my fingers. It’s made from some sort of bone and it is absolutely stunning. The points are even and not too sharp. Then there are the decorative stones at the top.
“It’s beautiful,” I say filled with admiration.
He chuckles while he starts braiding my hair. “My mother never went anywhere without it. I was lucky I was visiting her when the attack happened. I could take her with us and save her. Others have not been so lucky. When we had to part, she gave me this, so I have a little piece of her with me. She would be so pleased I found you. I cannot wait for you to meet her.”
I meet his gaze in the reflection of the window and see him smiling broadly. “I will meet her?” I ask, and he nods before he goes back to braiding my hair. “Yes, we will visit her…later.”
He stays silent after that and focuses all his attention on braiding my hair. I close my eyes and lose myself in the feeling of his capable fingers on my scalp. I don’t know exactly what he is doing, but it feels like intricate braiding to me .
When he is done, I slowly open my eyes and study our reflection. He is sitting very still with his hands on his knees, staring at our reflection as well. He smiles and suddenly I feel tired. Tired of fighting, tired of being scared.
There is something about him that sets me at ease, and I lean back. I catch his eyes through the reflection in the window and hold his gaze then, I lean back against his broad, muscled chest and let his strength envelop me. I close my eyes again and within seconds I’m asleep.
I yawn when I wake up and I slowly blink my eyes open. I’m feeling warm, and comfortable and I really don’t want to move and lose this feeling, but something inside of me tells me to wake up. The second I am fully awake I realize I fell asleep sitting almost on D’Var’s lap. I tilt my head up to look at him and I smile softly.
“Sorry, I fell asleep,” I say.
“That is okay,” he says. “I like that you trust me enough to fall asleep like this.”
This has me blushing again and he chuckles. I straighten myself and then I turn around to face him.
“You haven’t moved since I fell asleep,” I say to him, almost accusatory.
He shrugs. “I did not want to wake you or touch you when you have not given me your consent.”
And there goes another wall inside of me. This time it’s not even cracking, it is crashing down like it’s been hit with a giant wrecking ball.
“You can move me, when I fall asleep on you,” I assure him. “You don’t have to be tied down by me sleeping.”
“I like being tied down when you are sleeping,” he says.
I blush. “You um… You can hold me if I sleep... If you want to.” My eyes dart through the room, looking anywhere but at him, and then I feel his finger under my chin again as he pulls my head up so our eyes meet .
“I would want that very much,” he says.
We stare at each other after that declaration. Neither of us move a muscle or do anything. Then D’Var gets a strange look on his face and cocks his head, as if he is listening intently to someone. He sighs and then he extends his hand to me.
“Time to report to the Command Center, we are nearing the Space Station.”