Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
D’Var
L ’Ren all but fled to the bathroom and I am glad for it. Her careful touches stirred my body to life. I do not want to face her, with a cock hard as steel; I am a bit embarrassed by it. Maybe I should not have changed out of my leathers, it would have been far less obvious than in these sleeping pants.
I pace the room, not sure what to do with myself. Should I lie down on the bed? I have been putting off this conversation, because I am afraid she will reject me. But also, because telling her about what she means to me is a special and intimate thing, and I really want to be holding her when she finds out.
I decide if I want any control in the outcome, I should take the lead, so I install myself on the bed. My heart is beating rapidly, I have no clue what to do with my hands. I try putting them behind my head, but that feels way too frisky, so I settle on folding them atop my stomach .
L’Ren comes back into the room. I see she has a nervous gleam in her eyes. They dart through the room, like she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself as well.
“Come sit with me," I ask her, as I extend my hand. She hesitates briefly, but then I see a determined look in her eyes. She crawls onto the bed next to me and I pull her into my arms easily.
“Is this okay?” I ask her. “Can I hold you while we talk?”
She nods. “Yes,” she says. Her voice sounds raspy, so I hand her a water bottle, she smiles and takes a sip. When she is tucked back at my side, I begin.
“We believe that the First Warriors came to the planet of Arracate, a long, long time ago. We do not know where they came from, but we do know they were the fiercest of the Warriors that have ever lived. Arracate was inhabited by a local people and legend says the Chief of the First Warriors felt a pull towards the daughter of the planet’s king. She was his destined Mate. Her name was Zarra.” I watch L’Ren’s expression closely, she is looking at me, as if she is studying my face. My need to touch her is overwhelming, I pull her in a little closer, rubbing circles on her back as I continue.
“The king made him prove his worth by putting him through a number of trials. In the end he was proven worthy and was permitted to take Zarra as his mate. The other Warriors stayed with him on the planet, and in time they all found their mates and had young with them. The children of the First Warriors were Warriors themself. They did not look like their mothers at all, and they were all male. The Chief claims the stars spoke to him in a sacred place in the mountains of Arracate. They told him that the Warriors of Arracate would be a special race, destined to protect the more vulnerable civilizations from other races that would mean them harm. They were destined to fly out into space to lend aid wherever they went. As a reward they would find their mates, their true mates among those other races. They would know it was their mate because they would feel a pull. Drawn to them even before they would lay eyes on them.”
I pause, unsure how to continue. How do I put into words what she means to me?
I feel a gentle hand on my face then and I look at her.
“You have called me your Zarra,” she says. It’s not in an accusatory way, she just states it.
I nod. “Over time, the name Zarra has become special, one you would only use to address your mate.” I stay silent. My hand softly caressing her side, stroking up and down.
“I felt it, the minute we entered the space station. A pull, a knowing. It is centered deep inside me. I instantly knew exactly where to go. When I saw you, sitting there with that defiant look in your eyes I knew it was you. You are my mate, L’Ren. From the moment I saw you, my heart only beats for you.”
She gasps, when I look at her there are tears in her eyes. Her hand is still touching my cheek, I revel in the touch and the feel of her skin on mine. A tear, slipping out of her eye and moving across her cheek. I brush it off with a swipe of my thumb; she grabs my wrist, keeping my hand connected with her cheek. There’s a world of emotions swirling in her eyes, she is struggling to find her words, so I help her.
“You do not have to say anything. I know it is a lot to take in. You did not ask for this. I hope you are not disappointed by me. I know I can make you happy and keep you safe. I…”
She cuts off my rambling by moving up and launching herself into my arms. Holding onto me, hugging me tightly for the longest time. And I, I hold her right back and breathe. Just enjoying the peace of holding my mate in my arms.
Lauren
I hold on tight. This big warrior alien is… mine? I mean, if I am his mate, he is just as much mine, I would think?
I feel kind of embarrassed for essentially jumping on him. It’s just. Everything he said made so much sense. It explains everything. The way I am gravitating towards him, the way I feel strangely safe with him.
The freaking galaxy has not been kind to me these past years, so yes. I am choosing to believe every word he says, to believe in this crazy feeling, this attraction that makes me so confused.
When he began doubting me, doubting if I would be okay with this, I could only think of flinging myself into his arms.
I lighten my tight grip on his neck and release him. I sit back on my knees, and I am a little bit afraid to look at him. I bite my lip. It feels like I made a strangely bold move, and I am a bit scared of what he’ll do or how he will react to it.
“I like you, D’Var," I say, looking up, deciding it’s time to be bold. I don’t know the proper response to ‘my heart only beats for you’ , so I just go with my feelings.
“I really like being with you, talking to you, I feel like, even in these two days since you rescued me, you have given me little pieces of myself back, I thought I had lost forever. I don’t think I can comprehend what this all means, but I like you. And if you say I feel the way I do, because we are mates, then I am going to accept that.”
I stop to take a breath, but it catches in my throat at the sight of his radiant smile. All his casual laid back attitude is gone, he is sitting up, beaming at me. I sigh and smile back.
He reaches over with his big hand and takes my hand in his. “You like me,” he says.
I nod. “I like you. ”
His thumb caresses my wrist, looking at me conflicted. “Can I touch you? I would like to hold you?” he asks, and it feels like this is something he desperately needs and that he’s afraid I’ll say no.
“Yes, you can," I say. And I want to say more, but he is already lifting me up and tucking me into his embrace again. And I give in. His touch is calming. It makes me feel safe and when he holds me like this, I feel loved. And I start to cry again. Big ugly tears this time and I feel my body shaking.
“I’m sorry,” I sob. “I don’t want to be this person who cries all the time, but I had to be so strong for so long and hide my feelings. Now you say all those things to me and when you hold me tight, I feel safe. I finally feel safe.”
He tilts my chin and brushes my tears from my cheeks. “You can sob on me anytime, L’Ren,” he states. I can see he is trying to lighten the mood for me.
I give him a wobbly smile. “What happens next? You know with this whole mating thing?”
He hands me the bottle of water and I take a large gulp. He puts the bottle away. Pulling me against him once more, and I feel his tail gently placing itself across my leg, like every part of him needs to touch me.
“When a Warrior finds his Zarra, he must claim her. When he has claimed his mate, and their bond is complete, they are forever bound to each other. The bond is unbreakable, and they become one on a spiritual level.”
I blink and I push myself off his hard chest. “Claiming?” I ask. If this is like in the romance novels I used to love back on earth, I don’t know what I think about that.
D’Var is serious as he nods and looks at me. “Claiming is an important part of completing the bond. A Warrior’s seed inside his mate’s body will form their spiritual bond.”
All the color is leaving my face. Claiming is not something that is on my mind. If you had asked me before, I would say that I never ever wanted to have sex again, now I am not sure if I am even capable. What if I freeze, or worse, scream, or what if I just plain can’t.
“D’Var….” I begin, but he cuts me off.
“Claiming will happen, when it will happen. I am in no rush, just having you near me, being able to care for you, to protect you, that is all I could ever ask of you. We either will get there, or we will not. We take your path, on your time.” He caresses my cheek and I lean into the touch. Afraid it’s all I will ever be able to give him.
“I believe in us. The stars would not have guided me to you, if you were not the one I needed.” Then he grins his sexy smile.
“I will not lie. I find you the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and just the feeling of your fingers on my skin made my cock harder than it has ever been.”
I choke. “D’Var!” I chastise him. “You can’t say those things!”
“But they are true,” he winks. And then it hits me, he is teasing me to make me forget all my worries and anxiety .