Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Oh, hey!” Micah’s there with a soft smile on his face, and that smile almost makes me break down right here. The weight of exhaustion and despair is so, so heavy. I close my eyes, trying to get rid of the mortifying hot tears.
Micah immediately sobers. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I answer quickly, trying to cover up any vulnerability that might be on my face. But it’s hard, and my throat is tight.
“Come in.”
I don’t want to move. I want to stand here until I can get it together, but then I hear Princess’ nails on the floor as he tries to escape.
I pop my eyes open to see Micah battling with the black and blue ball of fluff, Micah using his foot as a blockade, and Princess jumping over it like Free Willy.
Immediately, I bend down and scoop Princess up, who gives an outraged snort. As soon as his soft, warm body is in my arms, I relax. I press him close to my chest, giving a soft squeeze.
“Is everything okay?” Micah is in the hallway and has turned to face me. He has me trapped against the door with nowhere to go, and I feel that itchy desire to flee.
Micah’s gaze flits between mine, then he takes a step back. “Let’s sit in the kitchen.”
My face burns. What the hell is wrong with me? I know I could take Micah on in a fight. Why am I acting like this?
“It’s okay, everything is fine. You can go to your appointment.” I put Princess down.
Micah pulls out a stool and sits away from me in the corner where he isn’t blocking my exit. “Everything doesn’t look okay. And why do you smell like smoke?”
I glance at the island, where there are two milkshakes with M he grows older with less hair and a mean look in his eyes.
Suddenly, he’s Arthur, blocking me from leaving the bathroom, and just like before, I’m trapped with a weight pressed on my chest.
“Get the fuck away from me!” I snap.
He doesn’t move.
My heart races. Do I back down? What if he hits me?
Fuck it, go ahead and try to beat the shit out of me for being weak. I don’t care anymore. What do I have to lose?
I take a step forward, putting my hands on the shoulders of the man blocking my escape, and yank him to the side.
Instead of launching at me, he just takes a step back. And then I blink, and instead of Arthur, it’s Micah, eyes shifting quickly, hands still up and shaking a little.
“I’m sorry.” He steps aside. “I’m sorry.”
In that moment, I see my own fear reflected back at me. A mixture of anger floods through me.
Do something, asshole. Fucking do something!
Only, Micah doesn’t.
What do I do? Run?
I take one step backward, then trip over Princess. I go down hard, trying not to land on him and landing on my elbow instead.
“Are you okay?” Micah is right there, reaching out a hand, then stops himself, retracting it.
Still, I flinch.
“Fuck!” All the fear and anger hit me all at once, and I feel the tears that I can’t stop boiling over. I get to my feet, turning away from Micah and curling my fingers into a fist, letting the overwhelming pressure out so silently that it hurts.
“Who did this to you?”
The thought of Arthur makes me burn with rage, and then it hits me that Micah knows. How does he know?
I turn. Micah’s face is transforming with an anger I haven’t seen there before. For a second, everything falls into place. He’s mad at me, just like I knew he always would be. I knew this would come out in him; it just took the right buttons to bring it out.
And despite all that, he’s still hot, eyes blazing like he’s on some righteous crusade.
I laugh bitterly, taking a step back. But instead of following me and screaming in my face, grabbing for me while I’m weak, Micah just…stands there.
Why is he just standing there? I sneer at him, adrenaline rushing through my system. I can take him. I’ll fight this time. This time, I won’t go down without a fight.
Then, Micah takes a step back, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry.”
Sorry? He’s fucking sorry? For what? Pussying out before the fight has even started?
I stare down my nose at him. Micah is weak. He’s not playing the game correctly.
There’s movement at our feet, and Princess is coming at me. He runs up to my legs, stamps, then backs up, putting himself between Micah and me.
For a minute, I just watch him. Again, Princess charges at me. I take a tiny step back before I realize that Princess is trying to get me away from Micah. Like he’s trying to protect Micah.
A cold shock of shame, mixed with anger, hits my system. Micah started this. He blocked my way. So why won’t he finish it?
Micah looks at me with a tortured expression, then scoops up Princess. “How can I help?”
How can he help?
I stagger back a step. Help? He wants to fucking help? Is that his angle? Act like the victim after he blocked my way so he can…what? Get me to drop my guard?
For a second, I nearly laugh. He’s not even going to scream at me? He expects to win this by being soft?
The absurdity makes me snort. Cool. Be soft then. You’ll learn real soon it takes a heavy hand to get anywhere with me, and even then, you might have to kill me because like fuck am I letting someone else win.
Then Micah glances at the clock and winces. “I gotta go, please just stay here with Princess for now, and we can talk about it later, okay?”
I blink. He’s just going to…leave? As in, he’s not going to stick around to see if his method is working on me?
Micah grabs his keys. “I’ll try to be fast.”
Slowly, very slowly, I remember why I was here in the first place. For a job.
Micah turns to me with a pleading look in his eyes. “Please just be here when I get back, okay? I promise we’ll figure things out.”
I say nothing.
Micah looks pained.
“Okay,” I say flatly.
“Okay.” It's just a whisper, and then he’s gone.