Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Did I talk to a psychic to see what kind of healing love spells I can cast for Maddox?
Yes.
Did Princess jump up on the coffee table, light his tail on fire with the candle I was using for the spell, then puke on my toes from the smell?
Also yes.
That was my bad. But honestly, not even cleaning up squishy puke with the smell of burned hair was enough to break me out of whatever haze Maddox left me in. It’s weird, somewhere halfway between wedding bells and I’m-gonna-puke-I’m-so-nervous-he-kissed-me-oh-please-let-it-happen-again.
Is he okay? Did I push him too far? I can back off.
But then again, I didn’t really do much; Maddox was the one leading.
Fluffer nutter, why is this so complicated?
Although it doesn’t matter if it’s complicated, I’m staying.
I just wish that I didn’t have to hurt Maddox by accident while I figure it out because he looked so hurt and scared, and I don’t even know what I did.
Nevertheless, I’m staying, and I’m keeping every finger I have crossed that he doesn’t run. He can’t run. We’re meant to be; he just can’t see it yet.
And if he runs, I’m chasing.
When I hear Maddox’s car door in the drive, I dart to the door with no shame. I just want to make sure he’s okay and calm the raging fear I’ve had ever since I saw that look in his eye before he pushed me away. Everything that I want to say bubbles up in my chest, threatening to spill out.
Only Maddox doesn’t get out of the car. I stare until finally, with a frown, he gets out, walking stiffly up to the house. I can’t tell if he’s mad. He doesn’t seem mad; he seems…scared.
Maddox walks inside.
“Is everything okay?” I can’t help the burst of words.
Maddox stops in the hallway but doesn’t turn around, making my chest tighten.
“I’m sorry if I upset you. I shouldn’t have crossed that boundary and made you uncomfortable. You can still stay here,” I say, my heart racing.
Slowly, Maddox turns. His face looks…bare. Completely wiped of emotions. “It’s okay. I was drunk and unprofessional. You hired me to do a job.”
I stare at him. Maddox recites the words with no emotion, like he’s a terrible actor reading a script.
Something isn’t right.
“I wanted it,” I say. “Wanted you.” I realize I’m coming on heavy when he’s trying to pull away, and it’s just going to make it worse. “I mean, it's not unprofessional. I wanted it. You can do anything.”
There’s an awkward silence where Maddox just…stares at the fridge. Or…beyond it? It looks like he isn’t registering anything he’s seeing. Like he’s here physically, eyes wide and almost straining, but his soul is somewhere else. The look makes goosebumps crawl down my arms.
“Maddox?” I whisper, glancing around to see if there’s something that’s making him look so damn scared.
Maddox blinks and looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. When he clears his throat, he winces, like it hurts.
“I…I’m sorry. I’ll stay in a hotel until I can get my apartment figured out.”
Panic hits my system. I can’t see Maddox if he’s in a hotel. I can’t learn about his favorite color or favorite movie, or share memes with him and watch him laugh.
“No!”
Maddox looks at me now, and his eyes focus, like he’s seeing me for the first time.
I plead with my gaze. “I mean, it’s okay! It really is. You’re not putting me out, and I like the company.” When his mouth tightens, I follow it up with, “I mean, not like that! I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just…like hanging out with you.”
I’m making it worse. I’m making it much, much worse. Why can’t I stop? Nope, not today, Batman. I got this. I can totally turn this around. I can get him to see that I am just offering support. I paste on a bright smile. I got this.
I drink in Maddox’s expression to see if he’s going to run. That tiny frown is between his eyebrows again, and his cheeks are flushed. Actually, his whole neck is red.
I hear Princess’ nails scrabble on the tile like they do when he runs because he knocked over my umbrella stand.
Then the crash hits. Sure enough, Princess darts by in a streak of black and blue.
Maddox jumps, pure terror on his face. He whirls to the door, eyes wide like he’s seen a ghost.
”Princess,” I groan. “Dude, really?” I turn to Maddox. “He knocks that thing over all the time.”
Maddox acts like he can’t hear me, his breathing heavy and eyes so wide I can see the whites. He stands there, staring at the door like he expects someone to come through it.
“Maddox?” I say, narrowing my gaze at him. Does he expect someone to come through the door? Who?
My thoughts immediately go to Arthur, whom Logan has yet to send me an update on.
Absently, Maddox’s hand goes to his throat, rubbing it, and then I freeze, looking him over again carefully. His throat is red. Unusually red.
Did someone…hurt him tonight? Was it Arthur?
“Maddox?” I ask, my voice dropping.
He drops his hand.
“Who did you see tonight?”
There’s a flicker of fear over Maddox’s face before confusion and then anger set in. He turns on me. “How is that any of your business?”
My vision blurs as rage begins to seep through my system. I know the answer to my question with certainty. Why else would he look afraid when I asked that?
“I’m gonna kill him.”
I’m gonna go get my gun, track Arthur down, and shoot him where he stands. I pull my phone out of my pocket. “Right now. I’m gonna kill him.” The rage that’s flowing through me is red hot. It’s powering me so fast I don’t know if I can stop.
“Wait.” Maddox’s voice is filled with power for the first time tonight.
But I’m not waiting. I dial Logan. Why in the world is Arthur not gone yet? It doesn’t matter. I’ll get his location, and I’ll do it myself.
Then Maddox is there, in my face. He looks terrified. “What are you doing?”
“Taking care of the problem.” I try to turn away, but Maddox snatches my phone.
“Hey!” I’m afraid, but it comes out angry, like it’s directed at Maddox. Immediately, I soften my tone. “Please. I need that.”
Maddox holds it back, staring at me. “What are you doing?” he asks again, like he’s scared.
“No one should put their hands on you, Maddox.” My hands are shaking with adrenaline, and I want to snatch the phone out of his hand, but I don’t. Instead, the pressure just builds in my chest.
“You think you can kill him?”
My body is so hot, and I just want to scream.
“You have no idea who you’re dealing with.” Maddox’s voice is high now, almost incredulous.
“I’m not that worried,” I snap, all that anger needing somewhere to go.
Maddox is looking at me like I’m the crazy one now. I’m not freaking crazy. Why is he defending him?
“If the justice system worked, killing wouldn’t be necessary. Now. Give me my phone.” I’m about two seconds away from snatching it.
Maddox freezes. He stares at me with an evaluating look, like he’s wondering if I know. Well, I do know, and I’m fucking mad.
Slowly, Maddox hands me my phone. I snatch it from him, instant relief filling me now that I have it. The call must have gone to voicemail.
Maddox takes a step back.
I glance at him, and the look he gives me is full of fear and anger. Only this time, it’s directed at me.
“Who were you going to kill?” he growls. He growls, but he looks…scared. Of me.
“Maddox, please, let’s just talk.” My anger is dropping, and doubt is starting to creep in. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.
“No! Fucking who!” He advances on me, and now I’m the one taking a step back. Not because I’m afraid of him, but because I don’t want to pressure him.
“Maddox–“
“Fucking answer me!”
Maddox is yelling now, and fudge, this isn’t how this is supposed to go!
Maddox stops short, looking at me. We’re caught there, tears welling in my eyes. I screwed this whole thing up. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! He was supposed to feel safe.
“You’ve been spying on me,” he says slowly. Then, it’s like clarity dawns on his face. “That’s what I missed. The play that I missed.”
I stare at him, pleading. “I wasn’t spying; I was trying to keep you safe.”
He stares at me. Then, like something changes, he just nods. “Hats off to you then. You win. You got me.” Maddox turns, stalking to the door like he’s leaving.
”Wait!” I dart after him.
Maddox ignores me, moving closer to the door, away from me, and toward the unknown.
“Stop.” I put my hand on his shoulder, and as soon as I feel him stiffen, I know I’ve made a mistake.
Maddox whirls on me, a snarl on his face. “Get your hands off me.” He shrugs out of my hold.
“You can’t go.” Panic is driving me now. What if Arthur is still out there? No, not what if. He is. And what if we can’t find him in time to stop Arthur from actually killing Maddox this time?
Maddox doesn’t listen, so I grab his arm this time. I have to keep him safe.
Maddox turns on me, voice dripping venom. “You’re no better than him.”
The hatred in his tone hits me like a wall, and I almost stagger.
I let go of Maddox.
His nostrils flare, and he takes another step back.
This isn’t Maddox. This isn’t him! This is just trauma. But still, my heart feels like it got ripped in two. I’m way better than Arthur. I’d never hurt Maddox. And he’s running out into the danger where I can’t protect him. Can’t save him.
Then he’s leaving. Running from me.
“Wait,” I say, throat tight. “Bring Princess with you.” It’s a last-ditch effort. A Hail Mary.
Maddox pauses.
”Please,” I plead. “I know you’ll keep him safe.” So you’ll keep yourself safe too. Because I’m not sure you will without him.
I don’t think he’ll take me up on it, but he growls, “Fucking fine.” Then, he grabs Princess and leaves.