Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I’m not trying to be downstairs when Maddox comes home, swear on my favorite tattoo–which is the sugar glider, currently. It’s in the ugly, itchy phase, but I love it anyway because it was the first time Maddox talked to me of his own free will.
While I was trying to distract myself from literally everything Maddox, I found a cute video of a raccoon.
Naturally, I fell down the rabbit hole of wondering whether you can have raccoons as pets and if they get along with skunks, and then I realized I was hungry and went downstairs for a snack when Maddox came in the door.
And now I’m standing at my fridge, awkwardly frozen, feeling like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. In my own house.
Maddox startles a little when he sees me. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I glance down and see a gun case, and I immediately get excited. “Oh, you got one!” I peer at the black case. “Glock?”
Maddox is stiff. “Yeah.”
My excitement builds, and suddenly I feel like a kid again when Dad got me my first gun. “Freak yeah, that’s a good gun! Reliable. The Toyotas of the gun industry.”
Maddox just looks at me.
“Can I see it?” A little voice in my head screams I’m not being cool, but I shoot it down. I’m not asking anything personal of Maddox. Not controlling him. He got a shiny new toy; everyone likes to show off shiny new toys.
Maddox shrugs, placing it on the island. I sidle up to him, waiting for him to open it and show me.
I don’t move. Because I think if I move, I’ll reach out and touch the hand that’s resting on the counter near me. The strong hand with thick fingers. The one that I want wrapped around my—
Maddox reaches to open the case, trying to flip the slide latches instead of sliding them. When he gets it figured out and opens it, there’s a sleek black Glock 17 there with the gun lock engaged through the barrel.
I whistle. “Shew, she’s pretty.”
Maddox makes a grunt.
“Can I hold it?”
Maddox picks it up and hands it to me with the barrel facing me. For a second, I’m horrified, and it’s then that I realize this sweet angel baby has never handled a gun before.
Gently, I point the barrel away from both of us and continue to praise it, but inside I’m screaming. He’s never shot a gun before. I CAN TEACH HIM! SWEET BABY JESUS, THIS WILL BE FUN!
By miraculous energy, I keep myself from bouncing on my toes and squeak out a casual, “We should go shooting sometime! I can show you the ropes. If you want.” You know.
Pretend none of that other stuff happened.
I never threatened your ex and never spied on you or stalked you, never ever followed you! Definitely not that.
Maddox was already stiff, but I feel the discomfort rolling off him in waves now. I quickly follow up my offer to help with a joking, “Of course, it’ll cost you a babysitting session with Princess.”
Maddox relaxes incrementally. “Oh, uh…yeah.”
“Yeah?” I turn to him, excitement humming in my veins.
“What are you doing this afternoon?” That voice is screaming at me, but Arthur is still out there, and Maddox isn’t shooting anyone but himself with the way he’s handling the gun now.
Plus, I’m pretty sure I’m giddy from just standing next to Maddox.
He’s like a freaking drug right to my system because I know he wants me; he just doesn’t realize it yet.
I can help keep him safe; he just won’t acknowledge that yet.
And what a terrifying, thrilling, I-wanna-throw-up game this is.
Maddox is silent for a minute.
My mouth opens of its own accord. “It’ll be fast; there’s a range twenty minutes south of here.” I’ll help keep him safe, even if it’s just teaching him how to shoot.
Finally, Maddox says, “Nothing, I guess. That would be fine.”
“Sweet!” I do bounce on my toes a bit this time because son of a biscuit eater, we’re gonna go shooting!