CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
LIZ
The meeting with Ryan goes well. After corresponding with Tammy’s attorney, she’s confident they lack any valid legal claim to win the case if it ever went to court.
Which is why she’s already submitted a motion to dismiss.
Hearing that eases the tension I’ve held in my chest some, but there's still that niggling at the back of my brain whispering that Tammy is right, that I will inevitably fail at this no matter how much I fight it.
However, my voice is no longer the only one in my head. Jovi’s is there too and I let his words be louder. Lena and Trent chose me. And I will do whatever it takes to honor that choice.
"I'll let you know as soon as I hear what the judge decides," Ryan promises. "But remember, these things can take time. No news is good news for the time being.”
I nod. "Thank you," I tell her for probably the twentieth time since she arrived. "I really appreciate your help with this. Especially since you're the one Trent and Lena discussed their wishes with."
"Of course." She offers me one last warm smile before she turns, heading down the walkway to where she parked her BMW.
I almost feel bad that she keeps coming to the house for these meetings.
Our winding dirt driveway can't be great for her nice car.
"Take care and I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything. "
I wave goodbye when she reaches her car and turns back one more time before climbing in.
Ryan is confident Tammy's lawyer will advise her to let things go for good once the judge dismisses her case. Even if she tried to appeal the judge’s decision, her accusations regarding my involving the children in my inappropriate work wouldn't come close to being enough reason to retract the parents' wishes I care for their children.
Not least of all because her accusation is bogus and she has no proof.
Reading through a copy of the request for dismissal served to calm the doubts that haunt me too. There was proof in black and white that Trent and Lena never wavered in choosing me from the moment they started the process of drawing up their will until the moment the papers were finalized.
Plus, Ryan included a thorough breakdown of what my business actually is and what my work entails and how there's no way, even in the midst of my smuttiest shoots, the children would have been exposed to the sort of damaging things Tammy's implying.
I watch until her car turns out of the driveway. Just long enough to catch sight of another vehicle pulling in.
Jovi is back with the kids.
The light, fluttery feeling that fills my chest at the sight brings an easy smile to my face. Maybe he's right. Maybe everything really is going to be fine.
Knowing the kids will come crashing through the door any minute, I clear the dishes Ryan and I used for coffee and pastries while chatting in the living room. I'm barely out of the kitchen again when they come bounding in, both of them talking a mile a minute.
"We learned how to cook on the big grill," Remmi announces.
"With aprons!" Gavin calls out as soon as he sees me. "We made hamburgers."
"That's pretty cool, bud." He wraps both arms around my hips in a quick hug, before he carries on down the hall. "Where are you going?" I call out after him.
"I need boots. Wyatt is in the barn."
Of course. "What about you, miss? Going to hang out with the boys?"
She shakes her head, scrunching her nose. "I think I need a break from boys."
Jovi fills the doorway then, smirking as he catches her words.
"I get that," I say, sending a teasing wink his way. "Want some girl time? Just you and me?"
Her eyes light up at that. "Yes, please!"
"Perfect," I tell her, draping an arm over her shoulders. "I was hoping you'd say that. I have a recipe for candy popcorn I've been wanting to try, and I think I saw that movie you were asking about on Netflix."
"Cozy clothes?" she asks, eyeing the stairs leading up to the bedrooms.
"Seems like they ought to be mandatory." I tilt my head to the side as if thinking. "You know, I might have a face mask or two for us too. We probably deserve a little spa treatment."
She lets out a little squeal as she runs up the stairs, disappearing in a flash.
"You don't mind, do you?" I ask Jovi, when I hear Gavin running toward us again, the sound of plastic slapping together as he runs with his rainboots in hand confirming his search was successful. "Having Gavin hang out with you in the barn?"
He smiles. "Never."
"Thanks." Our eyes stay locked on each other a moment more. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head, stretching his smile wider. But it does nothing to ease the ache rising in his eyes the longer he looks at me.
"Ryan is confident she can make everything go away without going to court," I tell him, trying to ease his mind.
"Good." He slides both hands into his pockets. It's awkward. And distant. "I knew she would."
"There's something you're not saying." I step closer toward him, lowering my voice as Gavin comes into the foyer dropping down to sit on the floor and change out his shoes. "What's going on?"
"I'll tell you later. Everything will be fine." Jovi leans into me, kissing my cheek before he murmurs, "Trust me."
I do. And it's enough for me to turn my brain off from worrying. Enough to let him walk out with Gavin while I focus on my afternoon with Remmi. Whatever it is, we'll talk about it. We'll figure it out. Like we’ve done everything else. It'll be fine. Because we're in this together.
JOVI
I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to come up with the right way to tell Liz what I learned today. In the end, I decide there is no right way to share something so wrong. But hiding it from her the way everyone else did, is worse.
Desiring to shelter Lena and Liz when they were children was understandable.
But seeing the way the scars of that trauma settled, knowing the damage it still does, how much it continues to hurt her?
No, I have to tell her. And I have to hope that she'll let me in close enough to hold her through it if she falls apart.
"Think you could come by the house tomorrow afternoon and hang with the kids a bit?" I ask Cas after we've dropped both boys at the house for dinner while he and I get to the evening feeding. It's all become so normal. The routines, Cas and Wyatt being a part of this family.
"Of course," he says, a sly grin taking shape through his scruff. "Gonna take her on a date?"
"Not exactly." Not remotely, actually. "But there's somewhere I gotta take her, and I can't include the kids."
His face shifts, noting my tone. "Sounds serious."
"It is."
He nods. "You can count on me. I'll watch the kids as long as you need."
"Thanks, man."
"Anytime, brother."
With that settled, we finish up with the horses and head back up to the house. It's late, so Cas scoops Wyatt up and makes for home, while I linger in the foyer.
"Did you want to come in and eat?" Liz offers. "There's plenty left over."
"Mind if I take a plate to go?" I ask. When her smile falters, I'm quick to add, "I have some emails to go over, people I need to answer. I figure I can squeeze that in while I eat and maybe by the time I'm done the kids will be in bed and I can come back. And we can talk?"
Her nod is slow, but the worry melts from the lines around her mouth again. She doesn't smile, but at least there's no frown either. "That works."
She disappears into the kitchen while I wait by the door, certain that if I follow her inside, I won't be able to pry myself away from her again.
I've missed her. Fuck, it's insane how deeply she's become rooted in everything, in me.
It's not that I can't function without her.
It's just that every time I'm near her it gets harder and harder to be apart after.
When she returns a few moments later holding a plate, I thank her and bolt before I can convince myself to stay and help her get the kids ready for bed. I love those nights when they happen. And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure those nights become my every night in the future.
Answering emails takes more time than I expect, and I'm long through the heaping portion of lasagna Liz plated up for me by the time I'm finally done.
The house is dark but for the light over the kitchen sink and a small reading lamp beside the sofa in the living room.
I let myself in through the back door and walk quietly through the house until I find her curled up under a blanket, reading.
It strikes me how familiar the scene is, how often I saw her like this when we were teenagers and how long it's been since I've seen it.
"Hey," I say softly, trying not to startle her.
She looks up like she was expecting me. "Hey yourself."
I point at the spot on the couch beside her. "Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all." She moves to tuck her feet in closer, but I hurry to sit and snag her ankles, tugging them out to rest her feet in my lap.
Her nose crinkles, and I know she wants to argue with me, pull away, but then she releases a long breath and surprises me with silence instead.
"You in a good spot to take a break right now?" I ask, nodding at her book and where she has her page saved with her thumb.
She answers by sliding a bookmark between the pages and placing the book on the coffee table. "Are you finally going to tell me what's bothering you?"
I nod. "I learned something today. Something from our past. Your past," I start, already sure I'm fucking this all up.
"My past?" Her brow furrows. "I don't know what you heard, but—"
I cut her off before she goes too far off track, "It's about your mom."
Her expression freezes. I'm pretty sure she stops breathing for a beat. "Oh."
"I was talking to my mother," I try to explain, wondering how to tell her why the topic was even up for discussion without making her feel like I was talking about her like she's some mess I'm trying to fix. "About us."
"Us?"
I nod. "Our history came up, and then..."
"More history?"
I bite the inside of my bottom lip. That look in her eyes is already killing me. "She told me things, things I never heard from you or Lena. Things I think maybe no one told you either."
"What sort of things?" Her voice is barely a whisper.
"Things like why she really left," I say, instinctively wrapping an arm over Liz's legs in my lap as though she might try to bolt. "It wasn't her choice, Liz. There was an accident. And she was the driver. And... someone died."
Her head starts to shake back and forth, and I can tell by the lost look on her face, she's struggling to make sense of what I'm saying.
So, I start at the beginning. I tell her the way my mother told me.
And when I'm done, I lift her into my lap completely, hold her to me, and rock her until the tears stop.