Chapter Nine
Liam went straight to the bar, sought out Cilla, and once again engaged her in conversation.
‘I wonder what they’re saying?’ I murmured.
‘I’m going to find out,’ said Alice, leaping to her feet. ‘I’ll make out we want some brown sauce to go with our sausages. Then, when Polly goes off to fetch it, I’ll sidle over to Liam and eavesdrop.’
‘Alice, don’t-’ I protested.
But my friend was already heading over to the bar. I stared after her in dismay. Cilla wasn’t daft. If she spotted Alice hovering and fluttering her eyelashes at the enemy, she’d find herself removed from the Starlight Society faster than James Bond pressing his Aston Martin’s ejector button.
While Alice went through the pantomime of asking Polly for brown sauce, I tucked into my food and watched the barmaid go back and forth with offerings of brown sauce, then ketchup, then mustard, then… vinegar? What the heck was Alice playing at?
Polly was starting to look flustered. This caused Cilla to press the pause button on her conversation with Liam, then slam down on the counter some salt and pepper pots.
Alice now appeared to be thanking the landlady and…
oops… accidentally-on-purpose jostling Liam and – I groaned – introducing herself and…
oh no… now she was turning and pointing me out and…
dear Lord, Liam was nodding his head. Suddenly the two of them were heading this way carrying, between them, every condiment known to mankind.
‘Here we are,’ said Alice cheerfully. She let everything drop to the table while Liam set down the salt and pepper pots. ‘Look who it is,’ she beamed, jerking her head at Liam. ‘Public Enemy Number One.’
‘Oh, please don’t say that.’ Liam mock grimaced as he pulled out a chair. He sat down, then turned to me with a smile. ‘Hello, again.’
‘Hi,’ I squeaked. He was now sitting slap bang between Alice and me. I felt a little overwhelmed at his proximity, although Alice – judging from her ecstatic expression – was now looking like someone who’d gone to the North Pole and found a Costa.
‘Your friend said you wouldn’t mind me joining you both.’ Liam gave a helpless shrug. The pub was now heaving and there was a distinct lack of seating. ‘Is that okay?’
‘Absolutely,’ I squeaked again. Liam’s legs were so close to mine I could feel the heat from his body. It was most unsettling. Alice wasn’t faring much better either. She seemed to be impersonating an overexcited racehorse at the Grand National. She caught my eye.
‘Egg on the chin, Jen,’ she murmured, causing me to flush with embarrassment. I quickly reached for a paper napkin and dabbed.
‘Now then,’ said Alice, picking up her knife and fork.
‘Liam has pacified our landlady and – despite the tricky situation – assured Cilla he wants to be friends with us all. Liam wants to work with the Starlight Society, not against it. Isn’t that nice?
’ she cooed, cutting into her sausage. ‘And what better way to show his sincerity than to frequent this pub and mingle with the locals?’
‘Indeed,’ I said, wondering if Alice might eventually permit Liam to speak for himself.
‘Um,’ he said tentatively, looking at my friend. ‘I thought you wanted all sorts of sauces with your Full English.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Alice simpered. ‘Silly me.’ She picked up the mustard jar, then put it down again. ‘On second thoughts, I’ve changed my mind.’
Liam smiled but didn’t say anything. If he’d rumbled her earlier ruse, he was too polite to say so. But then again, he was probably used to women like Alice plotting ways in which to get his attention.
Polly momentarily interrupted the conversation by delivering Liam’s own Full English.
As he picked up his knife and fork, I found myself wondering if he was married.
I glanced at his left hand. No wedding ring.
Although that didn’t necessarily mean he was a free agent.
He might be living with someone. Not that I was interested.
Just faintly curious. But Alice was one step ahead of me.
‘Isn’t this nice,’ she chirped. ‘I think it’s so much better to all be friends. Cilla is lovely once you get to know her. After all, she’s simply protecting a much-loved local landmark.’
‘Of course,’ Liam agreed. ‘I think she’s an amazing lady for being so dynamic and proactive with her plans.’
‘Yes,’ Alice agreed, although her manner wasn’t quite as effusive as Liam’s. ‘She’s certainly… a diamond.’ Her tone indicated it was of the rough variety.
‘This is a beautiful village,’ Liam continued. ‘It has certainly captured my heart. If I have the winning bid and develop Starlight Hall into apartments, I might well buy one of them myself and move here.’
‘How exciting,’ Alice declared. ‘And, er, would that suit Mrs Lancaster?’
I inwardly groaned. Nothing like being so obvious.
Liam looked amused.
‘There isn’t a Mrs Lancaster.’
‘Nooo!’ Alice gasped. ‘A handsome man like you? I don’t believe it.’
‘There was a Mrs Lancaster, but we’re now divorced.’
‘Aww, that’s a shame,’ said Alice gleefully. ‘What went wrong?’
Gordon Bennett. Talk about nosy. I gave her ankle a well-aimed kick under the table. Liam promptly winced.
‘Oh God, I’m so sorry,’ I said, appalled. ‘It’s my foot. Sometimes it… jerks. All by itself.’
‘Really?’ Liam frowned.
‘What happened?’ said Alice, looking puzzled.
‘I accidentally kicked Liam.’ I gave her a meaningful look.
‘Ah,’ she said, as the penny dropped. However, my friend was unrepentant. She turned her attention back to her heart’s desire. ‘You were saying, Liam?’
‘About?’ he said, looking confused.
‘Mrs Lancaster,’ Alice prompted. ‘And why you divorced.’
‘Oh. Not much to tell, really. My wife went off with someone else.’
‘No!’ said Alice joyfully, as I rolled my eyes.
She gave me a look. One that basically conveyed what sort of woman dumps a stunning specimen like the one sitting at our table?
Had Liam failed to pick up his socks one time too many, giving Mrs Lancaster hysterics of the unfunny kind?
‘Lesley is… was… a massive flirt,’ he continued. ‘I think, deep down, she was insecure and needed reassurance from other men. I forgave her the first time she was unfaithful. And the second. And the third.’
‘What?’ Alice screeched. She clamped a hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry. Carry on.’
‘Yeah, it was a bit of a carry on,’ Liam grimaced. ‘The fourth time it happened was with a mate. Josh had always had a soft spot for Lesley. He ended up proposing.’
‘Your wife married your friend?’ Alice’s eyes were almost as round as the fried tomatoes on Liam’s plate.
‘No, because Lesley turned Josh down.’
‘Why?’ said Alice.
‘Because of his surname. She said she didn’t want to be Mrs Lesley Wesley.’
Alice gave a snort of laughter.
‘You’re kidding, right?’
‘Straight up,’ Liam assured. ‘Anyway, Lesley said she wanted me back, but by that point I’d had enough.
There’s only so many times the human heart can take a bashing, and I was done with being repeatedly hurt.
However, there was a moment of weakness on my part which led to Lesley trying to make out she was pregnant.
It turned out she was lying. Lesley wasn’t mum material.
And even if she had been, I’d have always worried about the true paternity of any child from our union.
So, no. There’s no Mrs Lancaster or, currently, a Significant Other. Does that answer all your questions?’
Alice had the grace to blush.
‘It does,’ she murmured.
‘Anyway’ – Liam turned his attention to me – ‘I want to apologise again, Jen, about yesterday. I hardly slept a wink after accidentally gate-crashing your husband’s wake. Talk about being embarrassed.’
‘It’s really not your fault,’ I insisted. ‘I kept interrupting when you were trying to explain. No harm done.’
‘Good to hear,’ he smiled. ‘Perhaps I can take you out for a drink one night to make up for it.’
Alice was suddenly looking extremely put out.
‘Oh, there’s really no need,’ I demurred.
‘Nonsense,’ said Liam. ‘You’d be doing me a favour. You see, I want to show Starlight Hall to a friend of mine. An architect. Perhaps I could take him to this pub afterwards and you could join us?’
Alice was all smiles again.
‘That sounds most agreeable,’ she purred, presuming herself to be included in this invitation.
‘Let me give you my number, Liam’ – she rummaged in her bag for a pen and some paper – ‘and you can ring me. We’ll sort out a date.
’ There was a definite emphasis on the word date.
She gave me a speculative look. ‘How exciting!’