Chapter Twenty-Seven
‘Jen?’ Liam prompted.
I continued to stare at him silently. But… wait. Something seemed to be happening in the larynx region. My windpipe was making a strange gurgling sound. The noise was enough to nudge the grey matter into a response – albeit an impulsive one.
‘To… reflect,’ I said hoarsely.
Liam looked puzzled. As well he might.
‘Reflect?’ he repeated.
‘Um, yes.’ I licked my lips. ‘I popped in here to… well… take some time out. You see, I spent the morning scattering Peter’s ashes.’
‘God, I’m so sorry.’ Liam looked appalled. ‘I hope you didn’t find my question insensitive.’
I waved his words away.
‘You weren’t to know. I diverted’ – no need to tell him it had been several miles – ‘because I felt the need to take stock and have a pick-me-up. I figured a coffee was better than a glass of wine. Alcohol has been a bit of a prop lately, which is never a good thing.’
‘I understand,’ he said gently. ‘I am truly sorry, Jen. You should have said when I first came over. In fact’ – he made to stand up – ‘I’ll leave you to enjoy your refill in peace.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ I protested, grabbing his forearm before I could stop myself. Ooh-er. Zingers were burning a trail up my wrist. I instantly whipped my hand away.
‘You really don’t have to go,’ I insisted. ‘Honest. I was enjoying your company.’
‘Sure?’ he said uncertainly.
‘Definitely.’ I sighed with relief as his bottom once again sank down. ‘Initially, I felt a bit out of sorts,’ I gabbled. ‘After all, it’s not something one does on a day-to-day basis. To be honest, it all seemed rather surreal.’
‘I’ll bet,’ he nodded. ‘So, I take it you scattered your husband’s ashes in Danderbury.’
‘Er…’ I could hardly own up to doing the deed in Sussex.
After all, Danderbury was not exactly slap bang between the South Downs and Starlight Croft.
‘Sort of,’ I said, making a see-saw motion with one hand.
‘I settled for a place not too far from here.’ Well, that wasn’t a total lie.
After all, there wasn’t an ocean between Kent and Sussex.
Liam gave me a sympathetic look.
‘Was your husband fond of this area?’
‘Er…’
‘After all, it does have its good points.’
‘Yes,’ I agreed.
Although, other than this garden centre and a parade of shops, I wasn’t au fait with this town or its beauty spots.
For a moment neither of us spoke. Liam fiddled with the teaspoon resting on his saucer, and I studied the remaining chocolate sprinkles on my cooling cappuccino.
Well, this was all suddenly rather embarrassing. There was nothing like killing a conversation by mentioning your dead husband. Liam was the first to break the silence.
‘So… where did you put him?’
I frowned, momentarily thrown.
‘In an urn. Although, originally, Peter was in a plastic bag.’
Liam looked aghast.
‘No, I meant…’
‘O-Oh,’ I stuttered. ‘Sorry, I thought you were talking about…’
‘Er, no…’ said Liam awkwardly.
I nodded my understanding. After all, this was a delicate subject and, right now, this conversation needed rescuing. And quickly.
‘Yes, I found the perfect place to scatter Peter’s ashes,’ I assured. ‘He is now laid to rest.’
‘Good.’ Liam gave a sigh of relief. ‘That’s… great.’
‘A lovely spot indeed,’ I said warmly. ‘I like to think Peter’s spirit is dancing in the wind over the park.’
‘The park?’ Liam’s eyebrows nearly shot off his forehead. ‘Were the local council okay with that?’
‘What’s it got to do with them?’ I asked, taken aback.
‘Well, generally, to scatter ashes in a green space, you must have permission.’ He blew out his cheeks. ‘Believe me, as a builder there isn’t much I don’t know about the demands of councils. They’re usually obliging, so long as strict environmental guidelines are followed.’
‘Oh, I see,’ I said, a little unnerved. I took a deep breath. When in doubt, blag. ‘Yeah, it was fine, absolutely fine’ – I flapped a hand dismissively – ‘they were fine. Good as gold.’
‘Ah, you obviously spoke with The National Trust. They’re a very different body.’ He flinched over his last word. ‘I mean… organisation.’
‘They were very accommodating,’ I assured. ‘They told me I could put Peter anywhere, as long as it wasn’t the children’s play area.’
Liam’s eyes widened.
‘Are you saying… that you didn’t scatter Peter’s ashes at Danderbury Country Park?’
I looked at him in confusion.
‘I went to the place down the road.’
‘That’s Danderbury Recreational Park,’ said Liam in horror.
‘Y-Yes,’ I stammered. ‘Peter used to… play football there. Well, just the once. A charity match. And his team won. Ten nil. He was totally exhilarated. And that was when… when he declared that, once he’d done his time, he’d like to have his ashes scattered there.’
Liam was agog.
‘You scattered your husband’s ashes over the children’s playing field?’
‘Um, no, of course not,’ I twittered. ‘I’m not a fool.
’ That’s debatable, said my inner voice.
I cleared my throat. Adopted a businesslike tone.
‘Such an action would most definitely not have ticked the environmental box.’ I shook my head.
‘I sprinkled Peter at the side of the park. Well away from the pitch. Over a bush, to be precise. And then I said a little prayer. It was all very… serene.’
Unlike this conversation. I felt emotionally exhausted. Liam appeared to be at a loss for words. In fact, he looked shattered.
I seized the opportunity to swiftly extricate myself.
‘And now, if you’ll excuse me’ – I flung the remainder of my cappuccino down my neck – ‘I really must head home.’ I reached for my bag and stood up. ‘I hope you sort out your sapling order. Perhaps we’ll bump into each other again.’
Preferably not for the next million years.
Without waiting for a reply, I turned on my heel and fled.