Chapter Forty-Four
Things happened very swiftly after that.
The paramedics – who’d fortunately been on site all day – declared that Alice and I had simply had panic attacks. In Alice’s case she’d also fainted. Hetty was still in the land of the living, but possibly had a stroke, and was now being stretchered into the ambulance.
‘What a horrible end to a lovely day,’ Hetty’s daughter-in-law lamented.
Linda Cartwright squeezed Hetty’s limp hand, then kissed husband Hugo goodbye.
Hugo hopped into the back of the ambulance to be with his mother.
Before it set off, he gave quick-fire instructions to his wife: return to Fern Farm, update the staff, and make sure Hetty’s beloved Shep was in the main farmhouse tonight, rather than the granny annexe.
A small crowd gathered to watch the drama. The ambulance’s siren exploded into life and sent people scattering. Linda promptly burst into tears.
‘I feel so helpless,’ she sobbed.
Cilla instantly swooped.
‘Try not to worry, love.’ She hugged Linda to her, rubbing her back, soothing the woman like a distressed tot. ‘The doctors will sort your mum-in-law out. You’ll see. Hetty is a trooper. A tough old bird.’
‘Yes,’ Linda quavered, but worry was etched upon her face. ‘I just don’t understand it. Why did that happen?’
The words were out before I could stop them.
‘It was Peter,’ I said shrilly. ‘I didn’t do it. Not this t-’
Liam, still at my side, caught my eye. I immediately shut up. Cilla flashed me a puzzled look before continuing to reassure Linda.
‘It happened because Hetty is an old lady,’ she soothed.
‘But what could have triggered it?’ Linda wept.
As Cilla led her away, I kept my head down.
Alice and I were shivering from shock. Liam had draped his jacket around my vibrating shoulders. I looked like a large jelly that hadn’t properly set. Someone had wrapped Alice in some of Hetty’s shawls. She now looked like a model for a Boden catalogue – albeit a shellshocked one.
‘I’m m-meant to be m-meeting a m-man in a m-minute,’ she stuttered.
‘Was that Hetty’s prediction before she keeled over?’ asked a nosy onlooker.
I looked up and saw Doreen Bird – one of Hetty’s cronies.
‘Hetty collapsed before Alice’s reading,’ I quavered. ‘But she did tell me I was meeting’ – I dropped my voice to a whisper – ‘death.’
‘Hetty would never say something like that!’ spluttered Doree, outraged.
‘Oh, but she did,’ I countered. ‘I can’t remember her exact words. But it was something about… death being everywhere… and then… and then-’
My chest started to heave as another panic attack threatened.
‘Come on,’ Liam interrupted. He put his arms around Alice and me. We leant against him like a pair of ninety-year-olds who’d lost their Zimmer frames. ‘I’m taking you two to the Starlight Arms. A pick-me-up is required.’
‘Th-That’s good,’ Alice stammered. ‘B-Because my date will be waiting for m-me.’
‘Okay, so it’s brandies all round,’ said Liam, steering us towards the pub.
‘Don’t forget me,’ said Doreen, tottering behind. ‘I’m one of Hetty’s closest friends. Her funny turn has made me feel quite peculiar.’ She grabbed Alice’s forearm and wrestled her away from Liam. ‘You’re a sturdy looking girl, so perfectly capable of walking unaided.’
‘Sturdy?’ growled Alice, stammer forgotten.
‘That’s what I said,’ Doreen nodded. She linked her arm through Liam’s, then looked at me. ‘Whereas you, Jen, currently look older than me.’
‘Good to know, Doreen,’ I said weakly.
‘Okay, ladies,’ said Liam. ‘If we could all concentrate for a moment. Alice, you hold on to Jen.’
And so the four of us set off – Alice and me at a doddery teeter, Liam emulating James Bond and keeping cool in a crisis, and Doreen looking like she’d necked a crate of energy drinks.
‘I say, young man,’ she said to Liam. ‘Are you married?’
‘No,’ he said.
‘Good to know,’ she said coquettishly, patting her grey curls. ‘Just remember, the older woman has a lot to offer.’
‘I’m sure it’s a wild ride,’ said Alice sweetly, before lowering her voice. ‘A striptease of teeth being removed before clothes.’ She was still smarting from the sturdy comment.
Inside Cilla’s pub, trays of Prosecco were awaiting everyone who’d manned a stall. Intent on having a freebie, Doreen grabbed a glass of bubbles. Liam – having parked Alice and me in the corner like two elderly aunts – went off to buy the brandies.
‘What a fecking fuckup,’ said Alice, shrugging off Hetty’s shawls. ‘And look at the state of me. How am I meant to make a good impression on Benjamin? Do I look a mess?’
‘You look fine,’ I assured. ‘Pinch your cheeks for some colour and freshen your lipstick. Is he here yet?’ My head swivelled this way and that, seeking out a fair-haired forty-something.
‘I don’t think so,’ said Alice. ‘Oh, wait.’ Her eyes tracked someone walking through the entrance. Her face initially registered delight, but then she froze. Her beau had spotted Liam and gone on to greet him like a long-lost friend.
When the two men came towards us – Liam carrying a tray full of brandies, Prosecco, and beers – Alice was flummoxed.
‘What…?’ she began.
Liam transferred the drinks from tray to table, then regarded Alice and me.
‘I’d like to introduce a good mate of mine. I also happen to occasionally work with him. In fact, he’s the architect and brains behind my upcoming purchase of Starlight Hall. Ladies, meet Ben.’
My jaw dropped as I remembered my earlier conversation with Alice – the one about it sometimes being a small world. Right, so, by association, this surely made Benjamin Fromings Enemy Number Two.
I wondered how Alice’s hot date would now pan out.