Chapter Sixty-One
There have been moments in my life where I’ve wished the ground would open and swallow me whole. This was undoubtedly one of them.
‘Oh,’ I said.
‘Indeed,’ Liam replied. ‘Which now leads me to ask you about the other two females apparently being lead a merry dance by Yours Truly. What were their names?’ He scratched his chin, feigning puzzlement. ‘Ah, yes. Saucy Sarah – aka Miss Big Tits-’
‘Liam,’ I interrupted.
‘Let me finish, Jen. And finally, we have Elusive Ella. Now, granted, Saucy Sarah was certainly saucy, and she did indeed have very big tits. She gave me the come on and also her phone number. But’ – Liam gave me a stern look as I tried again to interrupt – ‘I didn’t follow up on her invitation.
Nor did I keep her number. But Elusive Ella has me totally stumped.
She is so elusive I’ve yet to meet her.’
‘Well, obviously that’s not her real name,’ I said, cringing.
‘Then what is her real name?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know!’ I cried. ‘I made up the name because’ – I spread my hands wide – ‘you said you were interested in someone but hadn’t yet followed up.
Or something like that.’ I looked him in the eye.
‘Don’t deny it, Liam. You told me yourself.
It was at the same time as Alice setting her cap at you. You said you’d met someone.’
Liam looked thoughtful for a moment.
‘That’s true,’ he eventually admitted.
‘Thank you,’ I crowed, relieved to no longer be on the back foot.
‘I was simply thinking of this other woman’s feelings,’ I added piously.
‘And, as I said, it didn’t seem right to be texting you when, admittedly’ – I put my hands up – ‘I was enjoying it more than was probably appropriate.’ Well said, Jen.
At least you’d reclaimed a few shreds of dignity with those virtuous last words.
‘Let me tell you about her,’ Liam ventured.
‘You really don’t have to,’ I remonstrated. ‘Your private life is your business, not mine.’
‘But I want you to know,’ he said, shifting his position again.
His body was now touching mine. It was most disconcerting.
Flustered, I willed myself to sit still.
After all, it would do me good to listen.
To properly listen – so that I didn’t make any other wild accusations about incestuous relationships or bonking busty blondes.
‘The lady in question’ – he began – ‘was someone I was keeping my eye on. However, I wasn’t doing anything about her. You see, she hasn’t been single for long. I figured she needed some emotional space.’
‘Tread carefully, Liam,’ I cautioned. ‘If she’s still officially married, it could get messy. Is the husband still around?’
Liam’s lips twitched.
‘I only know one person who has claimed to see him, but I don’t think that source is reliable. Anyway, there’s been some progress with the lady. I’m in touch with her. I’ve even been inside her house.’
‘That’s nice,’ I mumbled, trying not to appear deflated.
‘We’re even going on a… kind of date.’
‘But that’s wonderful,’ I gushed. Privately I was devastated. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m not sure I should tell you.’ He gave me a disarming grin. ‘I don’t want to jinx it.’
‘Fair enough,’ I said casually. ‘Well, I’m pleased it’s all going in the right direction.’
‘Fingers crossed,’ he smiled.
‘So’ – I scrambled for a safe topic change – ‘tell me about this fortune teller you saw in the Cotswolds.’
‘Ah.’ Liam lowered his eyes for a moment. ‘If I tell you that, it leads to a pivotal point in this conversation.’
‘Oh?’
‘I don’t usually allow myself to get influenced by so-called psychics. However, many things said rang true.’
‘Carry on,’ I encouraged.
‘The psychic made reference to the lady I’ve just told you about.’
‘And?’
‘She described this lady to a tee. And she gave me a stark warning.’ Liam hesitated a moment, as if choosing his words carefully.
‘She said that I needed to crack on with cracking on – for want of a better way of putting it. She cautioned that this lady is planning on moving away. Also, that there is a risk she will move so far away I might never see her again. And then she talked about destiny and said I should stop prevaricating and get on with it.’
‘Right,’ I said miserably. ‘So… are you, you know, going to get on with it?’
Liam momentarily pondered, then appeared to make up his mind.
‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘Yes, I’m going to do it.’
‘Good luck,’ I said weakly.
‘Thanks,’ he smiled.
There was a pause where neither of us spoke.
Oh well. That was that. The antihistamines had done their stuff with the wasp stings. I no longer felt sloshed thanks to Liam confiscating my wine and replacing it with water. I stifled a yawn as a wave of tiredness washed over me. Oh, to sleep for a thousand years.
‘Anyway’ – my voice was teasing – ‘you’ve shared your story but haven’t told me this lady’s name.’
‘Okay,’ he sighed. ‘I will tell you.’
‘I’m all ears,’ I said cosily. Frankly, I couldn’t care less.
Suddenly my hands were being enfolded in his.
‘Her name’ – he said gently – ‘is Jen. Later this month I’m taking her to an Abba concert, and I’m hoping it’s a date in every sense of the word.’