Saving the Halfback

27. Bailey

27

Bailey

Thursday

B etween schoolwork, driving the guys to and from school, and football, I found myself pushing Ed further and further from my mind. Now and then, he would make an appearance when the guys weren’t around, but he just stood there, judging silently.

Ethan didn’t talk much during our drives, but at least he got in the truck and didn’t fight me. He probably knew I would win…again. Although, as soon as I picked him up at the mechanic’s shop—where he went after school as well—he insisted on driving. He didn’t seem to care that I’d stayed completely sober since that one day.

It rained all week, which didn’t change our practice schedule. We played through the rain until we were all muddy messes, making me extra grateful for the warm showers in the girls’ locker room.

“It reminds me of the pitts,” Lachlan said as he slid into the back seat after school. He smelled of sandalwood, no earthy scent. Tomorrow was our first game, and he said he normally stopped smoking a day or two before games.

“The pitts?” Nolan asked.

“You know where the bridge is at the bend in the river?”

“The one that cuts through the park?”

“Yes,” Lachlan said. “When it rains like this, it tends to flood the river a bit and makes the field beside it into one big mud pit. It’s best after spring, but this would be good too. We would play football or tag or just run around in the mud. It was fun.”

“I wonder if kids still do that. We weren’t the only ones,” I said.

“We should do it.” Nolan leaned forward. “Think it would be flooded now?”

I made eye contact with Lachlan; he was likely thinking the same thing I was. “Maybe we can ask him,” I suggested.

Lachlan shrugged. “We could try. It would be weird going without him.”

“Who?” Nolan asked.

“Chase. He was the one that always made us go,” I answered. “He comes from an uppity family, so I think it was his way to piss off his parents. Showing up at home, covered in mud.”

“He won't.” Ethan spoke for the first time all day; it was obvious something had been on his mind.

We dropped Nolan off first, then Ethan at the shop. I got out and walked over to the driver’s seat while Lachlan moved up to the front. “Do you know what happened between Ethan and Chase?” I asked as soon as Lachlan and I were alone.

“I don’t know the details, but I know they had a falling out. Likely Ethan being stubborn, and Chase said something to piss him off.”

“Yeah, well, it had to have been big.” Ethan didn’t hold grudges like this for nothing. But he was also the kind of person to prove he didn’t need anyone. He would rather do everything himself, even if it meant he was struggling. Even if it meant he was seconds away from drowning.

When I pulled into Lachlan’s driveway, he asked, “Ready for tomorrow?”

“I guess. I hope I don’t epically fail the moment I get out there.” The coach had wound up the whole team this morning, chanting and giving us a big talk about tomorrow’s game. I had hoped the rain would let up tomorrow, but other players were saying it was more fun to play in the rain.

“You won’t. Wear your home jersey to school,” he reminded me.

“I will.” I said goodbye to Lachlan, and just as I turned to back out of the driveway, I spotted Ethan’s backpack. I cursed. It was so dark outside because of the storm, he must not have seen it. I drove back down to the mechanic’s shop, but no lights were on. He likely was on his way home, if not already there.

I drove down a couple of streets, trying to remember which one was his. Ethan hadn’t invited me out to his place often, but once I turned down a narrow road lined with trailers, my memory came back to me. It was hard to see through the rain, but I slowed my truck to a crawl and squinted to try to find the familiar trailer.

It wasn’t his house that caught my attention, though. I slowed the truck to a stop and watched as one guy lowered his fist to the other. I couldn’t believe I was actually seeing someone have a full-out fight in the middle of public. I was torn between whether to flash my lights and scare them away, break up the fight, or ignore it. Maybe I should call the police. This area wasn’t exactly known for its friendliness. Screw it. I flashed my high beams to scare the guy giving a beating, but when he spun around, I saw who was kneeling before him…Ethan.

Blood poured from his nose, and as he looked up in my direction briefly, the man standing over him laid another fist into his face. Ethan fell to the ground, his hands catching himself.

It was an automatic reaction to put the truck in park and jump out into the freezing rain, running over to him. “You give me my money,” the man was yelling over and over, and Ethan did absolutely nothing to stop it. He just kneeled before the guy. Ethan. Ethan, the one who regularly got into fights. The massive giant that most of the school and some teachers were afraid of. And here he was on his knees, getting the shit beat out of him while he just took it. What the hell was going on?

“I called the cops!” I heard a neighbor yell from their door.

“Keep your nose out of it, Jerry! I will punish my kid how I see fit,” the man yelled back.

That coward. He’d been a coward years ago in the alleyway, and he was still a lowlife coward now. I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Stop!” The rain was pelting against my face, but I refused to look away, for fear he would go after Ethan again. I doubted Ethan’s dad was still afraid of getting caught, though. The neighbors hid behind their doors, as if afraid of him.

Ethan caught sight of me, and before I could get in between him and his father, he was on his feet, shoving his dad aside, like he weighed nothing and sending him flying to the ground. Ethan grabbed my wrist. “What are you doing here?” he hissed.

“Why is he doing this?” I looked up at his face. The blood mixed with the rain. His cheek was swollen and lip fat, his nose still bleeding, even as he wiped it with his sleeve.

“Go away,” Ethan growled at me, pushing my wrist away, toward the direction of the truck.

In the distance, I could hear sirens, and that gave me a bit more courage. I squared my shoulders at Ethan and raised my chin. “No,” I growled back at him. I stepped in front of Ethan, using my body to shield him from his father. I put all my fury and anger into my voice as I yelled at his dad. “Leave him alone!”

He staggered forward, as if he were drunk, and squinted in the rain. “Bailey McCormick.” His dad laughed, throwing his head back, as if there was some sort of sick joke. A thick arm wrapped around my waist, and I was being lifted up and around. Ethan forced me behind him just as the police car rounded the corner of the road and came speeding down. “Shit,” Ethan’s dad cursed and turned his back to us, stumbling into the house.

Ethan turned to me, his dark eyes meeting mine. “You can’t say anything,” he pleaded with me.

“What?” Was he nuts? Had he lost it? That man deserved to go to prison.

He took my hand in both of his. “If you say anything, I will be removed from the house. I have another month of this. Once I’m eighteen, I will be fine, I’ll be on my own. Just don’t say anything.”

The rain wasn’t letting up at all as we stood there. The police officer took a moment before he got out of his car and walked up to us. “Ethan,” the officer said. I winced. It’s never a good thing when law enforcement called you by your first name. “Again?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Ethan played dumb, and I frowned. I didn’t have much of a poker face. “Nothing happened.”

The officer looked around before his eyes fell on Ethan’s face again. “Can I talk to you alone? Out of the rain?”

Ethan shrugged. “Nothing to talk about.”

The police officer and Ethan had a staring match for what felt like forever, especially in the rain, until finally, the officer sighed. “Do you have a place to go tonight? Until he at least cools down?”

“He can come to my place,” I said quickly.

The officer nodded. “Go,” he told Ethan. “I have to talk to the neighbor, and then I’ll talk to Art.”

“Don’t. You’ll just make it worse. He doesn’t see the uniform with you.”

The officer frowned. “Well, maybe a night in a cell will do him good.”

“And then I’ll be in a group home. There’s no other place for a seventeen-year-old guy,” Ethan argued.

The officer cursed. “Just go. I’ll deal with it.”

Ethan turned to me, head hanging down, shoulders slumped in defeat. “Do you need anything from the house first?” I asked.

He ran across the yard, the grass so saturated with water it splashed up with every step. Ethan stopped in front of an old beat-up dryer and pulled a black duffel bag from it. We walked to the truck in silence, the rain pelting down heavier than before. As soon as we were in the truck, he spoke. “Just drop me off at Grand and Henry.”

Grand and Henry? “The church?”

He nodded. “The pastor keeps some cots in the back room.”

I put the truck into drive, my hands tightening on the wheel as I mulled over what he was saying. He had a duffel bag…hidden outside…for emergencies. It was obvious he had used the cots at the church before. He knew the officer—I wasn’t sure how—but it was plain to see they had some sort of relationship. He was used to this, and though there was some bad blood between me and Ethan, mixed emotions, he was Ethan. My friend was still in there, deep down. I was a crappy person for not seeing this earlier. For avoiding him in the halls for years, when this had been going on at home. “I told the officer you were coming home with me.”

“Ken knows better—he’s my cousin. He knows where I’ll be tonight.”

I let that sit for a moment, not sure what to say until I finally blurted out, “No.”

I slowed for the red light, and Ethan’s head whipped around to me. The blood from his nose had been washed away from the rain, but some remained on his cheek. His lip looked sore. “I don’t need your pity,” he growled, his eyes hard, tough. The brick wall he’d spent his whole life building held strong. But I knew that brick wall. I had broken it down once, and I would do it again. “I can handle this on my own.”

A phrase my mom uttered often jumped into my head and left my mouth. “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I sighed. “Ethan, I don’t pity you. You can keep pushing me away, keep putting distance between us, but you know that I’ll be back. That I’ll keep coming back and that I will absolutely refuse to leave you.” Again . I kept that word to myself. What I had seen tonight had my vision turning red, my heart shattering. I refused to allow this to happen again . “Or I can just come with you. How comfortable are the cots?”

Ethan slumped back into the seat, silent. I interpreted his defeat how I wanted, and once the light turned green, we were on our way to the farm.

As I pulled down the long drive, Ethan sat up, holding the strap of his bag tight in his hands. The porch light was on, and through the rain, I could see Dad sitting in his chair with a tea in hand. He looked exhausted, and I instantly felt guilty for not helping out more. Truth was, he refused to tell me what needed to be done around the farm; he wanted me to focus on school and football.

“Hey, Dad.” I stepped up on the porch and out of the rain. “Ethan needs a place to stay tonight.” He was beside me, barely out of the rain.

Mom came through the screen door, drying her hands on a dish towel, like she had quickly washed them and ran out here when she saw us. Her eyes ran over Ethan’s face, taking in the damage. I could see the gears in her mind working, thinking of what she could do to help him. “Of course,” she said quickly. “We have the guest room.”

“Ethan.” Dad stood up and shook Ethan’s hand. He didn’t allow his gaze to linger on Ethan’s wounds, though. I could tell he had questions, but he held back. “Been a while, son.”

Ethan winced, but only slightly.

“I just have a few chores to do, and then I’ll be back,” I told Ethan.

“I can work.” Ethan dropped his bag. “Thank you, sir.”

“Bailey,” Dad called out as I stepped back into the rain. “Give Buckley some of that oil. His leg has been acting up again with this rain.”

“Will do!”

Ethan was silent as we entered the barn, but he stayed close to me.

I started my chores by grabbing the hose and sticking it into the bucket of the first stall. While that filled, I went down the line, feeding all the horses in the stalls. Titan had a blanket on, and I didn’t know why, so I went in and promptly took that off. I didn’t have to say anything to Ethan. Once the bucket was full of water, he took the hose out and put it in the bucket of the next stall. I went into the stall filled with hay bales and began carrying a few flakes to each horse, dropping it into their feeders.

When I went to get another bunch, Ethan stepped in front of me. “I’ll get it.” His voice was low, his chest brushing against me as he squeezed past to get into the stall. I stood and watched him for a minute, not exactly sure what to say or do.

In school, Ethan was intimidating—he used his body to his advantage and kept everyone away—but here, right now, I didn’t find him intimidating. I found him calming. I hated doing chores alone in the barn, always looking over my shoulder, anticipating someone sneaking up on me. With Ethan around, I found myself more relaxed.

I went to work giving the horses their grain and supplements, and by the time I was finished, everyone was watered and had fresh hay. Then I went to work scooping out their stalls. Ethan stood in the doorway, watching me. Once I finished one stall, he took the fork and wheelbarrow from me and went to work on the other stalls.

I pulled my phone out, surprised at how quickly everything was getting done. All the horses were already in because of the rain, so I didn’t have to go out into the field and get anyone. I wandered around the barn for a moment before finally finding another fork and walked back to help clean out the stalls.

That’s when I saw Ethan in with Titan. He kept his eyes on the horse as he cleaned, not turning his back to him, which was smart, since they didn’t know him. But he wasn’t scared of Titan; he was relaxed. “Hey, buddy,” he said in his raspy voice. Titan continued munching on his grain, resting his body with one foot up, an obvious sign he was at ease. Ethan moved to leave, but Titan stopped chewing and followed him to the stall door. Then Ethan did something that shocked me. He reached up and stroked Titan’s neck. The horse enjoyed it so much, he tilted his head and leaned into Ethan. “There. I’m not so bad, am I?”

I smiled and walked over to the next stall, getting to work. I was practically humming with contentment when Ethan stood at the doorway, waiting for me to be finished.

“Where’s Marley?” he asked.

I froze, a fragile piece of my heart shattering at those two words.

“You okay?” Ethan walked over to me, looking as if he was about to reach out, but stopped and dropped his hand.

I cleared my throat and picked up the wheelbarrow. “Yeah, she…” Damn. I could see her—the large mixed dog the guys and I had found abandoned years ago—plain as day in my mind now, an image I fought to forget. She had long tan fur with black markings, and she was everything to me. I owed her everything. “She got hit by a car.” I cleared my throat.

Picture it. Picture it, Bailey. If I could picture it, then it happened, and it had to be true.

“B?” Ethan grabbed my hand as I walked by. “I’m sorry. She was a good dog.” He spoke softly. I knew he’d liked Marley. He’d wanted to keep her himself but was afraid she’d get hurt at his place. How ironic. “When did it happen?”

“A week before school started.” I finished up with the stall and moved to the next one. I didn’t say anything more, instead focusing on the job at hand and doing what I could to forget about the old pup.

“Did you guys just build this?” he asked, looking around at the stalls.

“Yep.” When I finished, I made sure all the stalls were closed and Applewood’s and Titan’s stalls were locked because they loved escaping.

Ethan stopped walking as we got to the door and looked out into the rain. “I can sleep in the barn.”

“My mother would kill me.” I took his hand in mine and tried to pull him, but he didn’t budge.

“Yeah, well, I’m not worth this. You should’ve just left me at the church.”

I frowned. “What makes you think you’re not worth it?”

He said nothing, just remained a stone, staring down at me.

With a growl, I planted my feet in front of Ethan and tilted my face up so I could stare him in the eye. His lips twitched in an almost smile. “I don’t care what you think. You’re my friend, you need a place, you are staying here, and you aren’t running. I say you are worth it and, never, in all the years we’ve known each other, have I ever thought any less of you.” I adjusted my grip on his hand, so my fingers threaded with his. “Besides, my mom probably already has the bed made up for you and everything. If you stay out here, she will just drag you in herself.”

He stared at me for the longest time, taking everything in, taking me in. I couldn’t read his eyes, didn’t know what he was thinking. He was still so guarded. Then he nodded, and I was finally able to release the breath I’d been holding.

The moment we stepped into the house, the smell of warming chili hit me. My stomach growled and my mouth watered as we kicked off our shoes. “Get washed up and come on down,” Mom called from the dining room.

“’Kay!” I called back. I could tell Ethan was retreating into himself, becoming closed off, but I was done allowing that to happen. “Come on, I’ll show you where the guest room is.” I figured if he had space for himself, that might help.

We walked upstairs and turned down the hallway. “My parents are down there.” I pointed to the right. “I’m here.” My door was wide open, though it was too dark inside to see anything. “And this is the guest room.” I opened the door next to mine and turned on the light for him to walk inside.

It was a simple room that my aunt used when she came to visit. A double bed was neatly made, a nightstand stood beside it, and on the other side was a small dresser. The large window had a window seat identical to mine, with a couple of cushions on it. Ethan set his bag down and gave a little smile. “What?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He shook his head.

Then I realized… “You remember.”

He nodded slightly. “Been here a time or two in the past.” Which was an understatement. Even though my house was the most difficult for everyone to get to, because of the distance, the guys came out here any chance we could get an adult to drive them. There was more freedom on the farm.

“I’m going to take a quick shower downstairs and get changed into dry clothes. Feel free to use the one up here.”

I went to my room and grabbed my stuff, and by the time I went into the hallway, I saw the bathroom door was already closed and heard the shower running.

As I hurried downstairs to the shower, Dad stepped in my way. “Was he in a fight?”

I froze for a moment. “I promised I wouldn’t tell.” Dad narrowed his eyes at me, and I sighed. If I wanted my parents to give Ethan space, they had to know something. “I was driving by when I saw his dad hurting him. Police were there, so they kind of know and asked him to find a place for the night.” Dad’s face instantly relaxed. “Don’t treat him any differently. He’s waiting until he turns eighteen to get out of there because he’s afraid children’s aide will put him in a group home.” Everything came tumbling out, and afterward, I was biting my lip. I felt like I was betraying Ethan, but if my parents knew the truth, they would help. I knew they would; they cared about the community.

“Does he have any other family?” Dad asked.

I shook my head. “He was planning on staying at the church.”

Dad nodded. It was all he needed to know. “Get washed up for supper.”

I was such a mess of emotions, I couldn’t even enjoy the warm water on my cold, rain-soaked skin. Stepping out of the shower, I towel dried my hair and quickly got dressed, hanging up my towel before leaving the bathroom.

Ethan was sitting on the steps of the stairs, as if he was waiting for me.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“I could eat.” He kept his voice low.

My parents were already sitting down at the table, talking about the farm events of the day. Ethan sat next to me, and Mom handed him a bowl of chili right away. He took it gently. I handed him a warm bread roll, then went about almost ignoring him. He didn’t like attention on him.

After a while of eating and listening to my parents talk, I could see him relax and finally start digging in. Ethan acted like he was starving. Once he started eating, it was as if he couldn’t slow down. Dad nonchalantly handed him another dinner roll while holding conversation, and Mom refilled his bowl before he could say anything. At one point, he cleared his throat and took a sip of water. I looked up at him, noticing his eyes glistening before he blinked them back to normal.

“Are you two ready for tomorrow?” Dad asked.

“Yes, sir,” Ethan responded.

“Bailey, I haven’t seen your letterman jacket yet. Did you guys get one for the season?”

I looked to Ethan, since I hadn’t heard anything about jackets. Ethan knew, though. “There have been cutbacks to the program, so no jackets this year.” Dad’s eyes twitched at this, and I could tell he was thinking it over.

“You’re on the football team with Bailey, I take it?” Mom smiled, noticing he was slowing down his eating. “You look like a football player.”

“Yes, I’m a lineman,” Ethan answered.

“Lineman, what’s that?” She looked to Dad for help.

“He blocks players from getting through to the ball,” Dad supplied.

Mom smiled. “So, you protect Bailey.”

It took everything in my power to not facepalm myself. I was sure my cheeks turned deep red, but hopefully, no one noticed. I cleared my throat. “So, Dad, you didn’t tell me, were you able to get the fields cleared before the rain? Winter wheat should be going in soon, right?” And just like that, everyone started talking about farming again.

After supper, it was my turn to clean up, but Mom shooed Ethan and me away. He tried to pick up the dishes, but Dad just took them from him. I didn’t miss his flinch when Dad first reached out to him, and I was sure Dad didn’t miss it either, because he moved slower around Ethan after that.

We went to the living room, and I turned on the TV, searching through the movies for something to watch, when Dad headed outside. “Where’s he going?” Ethan asked.

“More chores,” I said. “Probably checking on everything, in case it storms hard tonight.”

“There’s lots of chores around here,” he pointed out.

“It’s a full-time job for them…with overtime. Even with the hired hands, it’s still a lot of work. Wanna watch this?” I asked. It was some sort of zombie apocalypse movie.

“Sure.”

We watched the movie for a while until Dad came in. He had his cell phone to his ear and was arguing with someone. It was near ten when we turned in for the night. Not exactly a raging sleepover party, but Ethan looked as exhausted as I felt. And our first game was tomorrow.

I said goodnight and left my bedroom door open, just in case he needed anything.

I woke up in the middle of the night, rolling over and seeing it was only two a.m. Outside, lightning lit up the sky, thunder following quickly behind. The storm was close. The sound of rain hitting the steel roof was almost deafening. I wondered how it hadn’t woken me earlier.

Getting up, I stretched before making my way to the bathroom. It was on my way back that I peeked in the open door of the guest room. It was too dark to see anything, but as the lightning flashed, I found Ethan sitting on the window seat, his head hanging, his shoulders shaking.

I should’ve minded my own business, but I couldn’t. I walked into the room, nervous and not exactly sure what to do or how to help. Reaching out, I touched his shoulder, waiting for a sign. Slowly, Ethan looked up at me. Tears streamed down his face, but he quickly wiped them away, clearing his throat.

“Don’t,” I found myself saying as I sat next to him. “You don’t have to stop. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Ethan was the one to move. He leaned into me, his large arms wrapping around my waist. I sat on the window seat, leaning back against the pillows and taking his large frame into my arms. He sat with his legs over the edge but laid the rest of his body between my legs, resting his head on my belly as he cried.

I held him tight with one arm across his back, wanting to hold him as tight as I could. As much as I wanted to break down that wall he had built, I didn’t want to see him hurting. Now I felt like I had to hold the wall together.

Running my fingers through his hair, I tried to assure him that I was there, that I was with him, that he wasn’t alone. The storm swallowed his cries, but I felt them. I felt them as he shook, as he held me to him. I felt them shoot straight to my heart.

I had gotten Ethan all wrong. His silence, his following me this evening like a shadow… He had been trying to hold himself together. After a while, he went quiet, his body stilled, then a few moments later, he was sitting up. He grabbed the edge of his shirt and wiped his face. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice raspy and raw.

“Ethan, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

He let out a low sound, turning in the seat to look outside. “I have so much to be sorry for.”

I frowned. “How long has it been going on for?”

“What?” His eyes met mine, the glow from outside allowing just enough light for me to see the redness that darkened them.

“The abuse.”

He shook his head and looked out the window. “Does it matter?” Ethan didn’t move. I could barely even see him breathing; he was a statue. “The alcohol was bad enough… Once he started on the drugs, it got worse. I don’t know why he acts the way he does, but if I fight back, it makes things worse. The social worker and doctors had me on medication, telling me I was the reason, and that completely messed me up. It’s why no one can know. I can’t go back to taking it.” He shook his head. My hand was close to his when he reached out and started playing with my fingers, as if he was trying to focus on something different.

“Are you still taking medication?” I asked.

“No… I play football now. I had no purpose until Coach recruited me to the team. Football has taken up so much of my time over the years that I can finally escape.”

“This whole time, you never told me.” I frowned. “I would’ve… I could’ve…”

Ethan looked up at me. “I would’ve taken it to my grave. I won’t stand by and pull you into that. Don’t you see, Bailey? I do it for you.”

“What?”

“The distance. Staying away from you. Refusing to allow you to even come by my house. I have to do it. I have to put this space between us. I can’t explain it, but I have to keep you from it all.” What Ethan was saying to me was heavy and unguarded. His eyes were raw, his voice hoarse, and the way he spoke, I knew this had been weighing on him for some time. It took a lot out of him to say it out loud.

He’d left me to protect me. Not because he was hurt, or because he had moved on. He did it to protect me from a threat that he could see. From a threat he knew, because Ethan had no worry for himself, no self-preservation. He never had. He’d taken that beating tonight until he saw me. He’d taken every hit until he thought I was in danger. Only then did he move. Only then did he fight back.

I could tell him I was fine. That I could have held my own, and he had no right trying to protect me when I could protect myself. But I knew it was useless. I’d brought Ethan into this group, years ago. I’d refused to allow him to be left behind. I’d refused to allow him to put our group on the other side of his wall with everyone else.

All this time, I’d been trying to break down his wall or be on the same side of it as him, and all this time, I already had been. He’d kept me there with him; I just hadn’t seen that the distance between us was his way of doing so.

I leaned forward, crawled between his legs, and lay within his arms. He opened up to me, wrapped me in his warmth, and held me to his chest. The sound of his heart beating increased with each passing moment. “Thank you,” I whispered to him.

I felt all the air leave his lungs in one whoosh . His cheek rested on top of my head as he held me, and we just sat like that, silently watching the lightning storm spread across the surrounding fields. Time passed slowly, his breathing became more controlled, and I could feel my eyelids growing heavier. I was wrapped in a safe, warm cocoon that was Ethan, and my heart whispered a lullaby of belonging.

Ethan shifted, almost as soon as I drifted off, and woke me. His arms released me and slid around, under my legs and across my back, so he was cradling me. “Hey,” I whispered sleepily, “I was comfy.”

Ethan chuckled, then stood. “You’ll be more comfortable in bed.” At first, I thought he was about to place me in his bed, but instead, he walked through the hall with me cradled in his arms. “As much as I want you to stay with me, your parents were good to me, and I want to respect that.”

Ethan laid me out in my cold bed and pulled the blanket around me. Instantly, I snuggled deep into my pillow. I felt a feather-light touch across my forehead and opened my eyes to see him leaned over, kissing my forehead gently. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have.”

I smiled at him and reached out, taking his hand in mine. “Stay with me, please.” Just one night, I hoped to get through without hearing a dog barking or the slamming of the garden shed door. One night without having to rely on calling Lachlan or Nolan to chase my demons away. I didn’t have to say anything more. He nodded.

Ethan went back to the guest room, returning with a blanket and pillow. He laid his stuff out on the floor beside my bed. I would’ve offered for him to lie on the bed with me, but I knew he would decline. Instead, I rolled over and hung my hand over the side. He took my hand in his, placing it on his chest and holding it there.

“When you’re ready to tell us—Lach and me—what’s going on, we have your back, B,” he whispered.

I sighed. “Does Lachlan gossip to you too?”

“No. I just know you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew Ethan would figure something out. “I promise to tell you, if you promise me something,” I mumbled.

“Depends on what you want me to promise.”

I smiled. That was so Ethan—not making promises until he knew what they were. “That if your dad ever hurts you again, you call me. If you’re alone, you call me.” I yawned. “I never want you to be alone, Ethan…never. Again.” I didn’t want any of us to be alone again; I hadn’t realized just how much harm being separated had done.

In his silence, sleep came quickly, so quickly that I couldn’t recall if he had promised me or not.