51. Bailey
51
Bailey
A s soon as I told the others Ethan would be coming home soon, we all raced back to the farm, putting the ATVs away.
We went inside and turned on the TV while we waited for Ethan. Still, I jumped to my feet when he and my dad walked through the door. The others followed me, and even Mom walked out of the kitchen. “Well?” she asked.
“Family meeting, everyone at the dining table,” Dad said.
I followed Ethan but froze when Dad stepped in front of Lachlan, Nolan, and Chase, stopping them from leaving the house. “You all know?” he asked. They didn’t have to answer. “Well, you’re in on this now. To the table.”
I sat next to Ethan, and Lachlan took up my other side, with Nolan beside him. Chase pulled a chair around to Ethan’s other side, even though there was no spot at the table there. Dad took one look at us and shook his head.
“Ethan has been cleared of any involvement right now. As have Bailey and Chase. He has been living with us, due to drug use at home. Last night, the three of you went to get more clothes for him when you saw the shop. After checking in there, he went home to get clothes and only to get clothes. Ethan didn’t expect his father to be home, figuring he would be lying low after robbing the shop. When he walked in, he saw his father in the state he was in. You guys called me, and I informed the police. That is what happened, that is all.”
“There were people there.”
“That is what happened, Bailey,” my father snapped. Ethan shifted his body, so I was tucked just behind him. My father smirked, finding it amusing, but when he spoke next, his tone was a bit gentler. “They were high, they didn't remember anything. One even corroborated what Ethan stated. This is what happened, do you understand?”
I lowered my head. “Yes, sir.” My heart was hammering. Lachlan took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Listen to me, all five of you, because this is serious. This is murder.” He tapped the table, as if to make his point. “What Ethan did, I don’t hold it against him one bit. It had to be done. If any of you find yourself continuing to work on this farm, you will learn that some animals just need to be put down.”
I winced inwardly. I understood what my father was saying, but from the outside looking in, he may come across as insensitive.
“Now, we have family business.” He took my mom’s hand, sharing a look with her before continuing. “This is not how we wanted to handle the family business. There were decisions my father had to make for the better of the family that I'm not proud of. But when you get to a certain point, you begin to understand. So, I’m going to have the same conversation with you that he had with me and my siblings.” He eyed each of us, ensuring we were paying attention. “You have trust”—he held up one finger—“and communication. You trust us, right here at this table. And that’s it. No one. Not a single living being more. So, whatever relationships, girlfriends, wives, husbands you have in the future, can we trust that everything to do with this family, with us here right now, stays here with us?”
“Yes, sir.” We all spoke in unison.
Dad nodded. “Mistrust is given to everyone else.” I almost expected him to say mistrust is not tolerated . His eyes met mine and he nodded, as if he knew what I was thinking. “You give mistrust to everyone else, I mean it. If anyone, anyone at anytime, asks about last night, asks about Ethan, his father, or anything to do with this family, you will shut your mouth. Seal your lips. You don’t even have to say you know nothing. I want absolute silence, got it? Not only would you be risking his life”—Dad pointed to Ethan—“but you will put Chase and my daughter in the same fate as accomplices. You. Say. Nothing. Last night is wiped from your memory.” He stared back and forth between Chase and Nolan, both of whom nodded their understanding.
“Communication. If you have an issue with things, you bring it to the family. You hold nothing back. If you hear anything, you bring it back to the family. We stay together for the good of the family.”
Another round of, “Yes, sir.”
My dad nodded, then looked to my mother, who nodded at him. “Anyone have anything else to add?”
Silence. I looked up from my spot at the table and realized all the guys were staring at me. “Me? What? No. I have nothing to say.” A few chuckles sounded around me, and Dad cracked a smile, the tension leaving the room.
After supper, we found ourselves around the firepit. As I walked around the circle to an empty chair, Nolan reached out and pulled me into his lap. I leaned back, making myself comfortable. “Why do I feel like that was some sort of gang initiation,” he whispered in my ear.
I shrugged. “It was a side of my dad I’ve never seen before. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t agree to anything that didn’t feel right. But what he said made sense. I would’ve done it, anyway, without him saying anything.” I nodded and relaxed.
“How are you?” Lachlan asked Ethan. “That must’ve been fucked up.”
Ethan leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he picked up a stick, poking at the fire. “It was.” He paused, continuing to stab at the fire. “Honestly? Outside looking in, it was pretty sketchy shit. John talked to the cops, and then the lawyer showed up and talked to them. Off the books, off the camera, and then…I was interrogated, but I wasn’t. They asked questions that painted Art in a bad light. They coaxed me to say certain things. I caught on and went with it, but…” He shook his head. “It was all for the camera.”
Nolan started moving his hand, drawing little circles along my thigh. Slowly, conversation shifted away from the events of the night before. There was a bit of conspiracy talk about my dad being part of some underground mob, which was laughable. The only people that came on and off this farm were farm hands, and most were random workers. No mob here.
“Who is Ed?” Lachlan asked, completely derailing where the actual conversation was going.
“Ed?” Ethan asked. “He’s the farm hand in rehab.”
“Oh, the one they said got slammed into by Bruce?” Chase asked. “Yeah, the other workers have talked about him… Wait, is he—” Chase jumped to his feet. “Did he—you and him—is he your—”
“My ex,” I whispered. I was watching Lachlan, who had grown incredibly still.
“He’s like forty!” Chase started pacing. I still didn’t take my eyes off Lachlan; he stared right back at me with cold, guarded eyes. “How old were you?” Chase demanded.
I took a deep breath as Nolan began running his hand up and down my back soothingly. “I was fourteen, sixteen when he took my virginity.” My voice came out pitchy, and I cleared my throat in hopes of calming it.
And then…it all spilled from my heart. All those days Dad was busy with the farm, buying up land, making deals with renters, shuffling the allocation of properties. The nights worried about Lachlan, Chase, and Ethan. Not only did life get between us, but we also were changing, our hormones kicking in. I felt rejected, and I made a point to tell them that, now I knew that wasn't the case, but at the time, I felt I didn’t have control over any of it. And then Ed was there.
He was so good. It was like the fairy tale every princess wants, and that’s what he said I was to him, his princess. He seemed to find me every time I was crying and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. He found ways to wiggle into my life, help me out, but most of all, he told me how amazing I was. He told me how mature I was for my age and how I was beauty beyond years. He was a swindler of beautiful lies. He weaved them in and out until it was all I could hear.
Was he abusive? Not at first. Little things here and there that weren’t even seen as abusive because he wasn’t like that, so maybe it was me. I did something wrong. I did something different. I found myself begging for him because I wanted so badly to keep his attention, I had no idea it was fake. It was a ruse. When he took my virginity, I told him it didn’t hurt. That's when he touched me more and told me I was perfect for him. I would forever be with him. In truth, it was so beyond painful that I cried for days. He gave me no space, no time, no recovery. I just thought this was normal because there was no one in my life to tell me otherwise. I was trying to be as strong as he told me I was.
Once that part of the relationship started, when I was sixteen, which he always told me was legal, I lost a part of me I didn’t realize I even had to lose. All energy was sucked out of me, and I became a walking shell. A soulless entity. That’s why this year with the guys had meant so much to me. I was recovering more than just my friendship with them—I was finding my soul again.
“And then he got hurt.” It was a half lie, though not really a lie, but it was enough to make me feel guilty. It was a truth that I kept buried so far down that I wasn’t even sure if I knew it fully.
At some point, Chase had fallen back into his chair. Lachlan no longer looked at me. Instead, he stared out toward the house, his fingers tapping on the arm of his chair as he worked something out in his mind. “Is he recovering?” Lachlan asked, his voice different, his eyes on Chase.
Chase shrugged. “I’ve heard he may be a vegetable. Apparently, the bull really did a number. But it’s all talk among the workers, no one really knows.” My parents hadn’t shared the updates with the rest of the crew, not wanting to gossip or share privileged information that Ed might not want shared.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” I said.
Lachlan’s eyes swung to me, and a shiver ran down my spine. Immediately, I cast my eyes down.
“Don’t,” Ethan growled at him. Lachlan snarled in response. I got to my feet, sensing a fight, but over what, I wasn’t sure.
Lachlan stood and met me halfway, unable to stay still any longer. His arms pulled me in protectively, his fingers threading through my hair. Then he leaned down, breathing me in, grounding himself. “I need to know he’s suffering,” he whispered in my ear.
I shook my head. “We’ve already had a close call with the law, and someone has died this weekend. I just want to go to school tomorrow.” I pulled back to look into his eyes, pleading. His pupils were pinpoint, I was losing him. “Please. I just want to go to practice, play football, and be a teenager. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
He melted at my words, his eyes soothing over until they were those sweet baby blues I loved so much. His rigid body softening to my curves as he took two deep breaths, holding me in for a moment longer before nodding. “For now.” It was the only promise he would give me. I won for now, but he wasn’t letting it go.
Lachlan pulled me into his lap as he sat down. “Will I ever get my own chair anymore?” I joked.
“No,” Lachlan, Chase, and Nolan said in unison. Ethan just grinned, his eyes glazed over in thought, until Chase picked up a stick and threw it at him.
“What the hell?” Ethan cursed.
“No daydreaming her,” he said.
“I’m not daydreaming, I’m remembering.” His grin spread wider until Chase got out of his chair, his grey eyes darkening. “Sit down, I’ll group message later.”
I was pressing myself farther against Lachlan, my cheeks burning red, but the sound of the group message had me perking up. “Group message?” I asked.
“Not for you,” Lachlan said, pulling me closer.
“What? You’re excluding me?” At first, I thought he was joking, but they all had serious faces.
“Think of it as a boyfriend support group.” Lachlan shrugged. “We need to vent somewhere about our firecracker girlfriend.”
Girlfriend? I rolled my eyes to hide how much the term warmed my heart. “I’m not a firecracker. No one knew I even existed before I joined the football team.”
“First of all”—Nolan sat up—“you glared at the other team's lineman on Friday.”
Chase chuckled. “I wondered what was happening.” Something in his voice was off, though.
“Did you see her do the fingers thing, the I’m watching you thing?” Nolan asked.
Ethan smirked. “Yeah, thanks for riling him up for me.”
I realized I was staring at Chase and shook my head, returning to the conversation. “Sorry. He was over the line before the snap almost every time and never got called on it,” I defended.
“Guy was four times your size,” Ethan rebutted. I sighed, yeah, I hadn’t taken that into account in the moment.
“Don’t forget,” Chace said, and I found myself glancing back over at him, “you ran at a drugged out, crowbar-wielding lunatic and tackled him. Then you threw punches at him like you were Mike Tyson.”
“Too soon.” Ethan ran a hand down his face.
“It will be interesting to see what our firecracker does next,” Lachlan mused.
Chase’s eyes ran down my body, lingering where I held Lachlan’s hand, twirling one of his rings around his finger.
“So, are you all making it public? That you are all dating her?” Nolan asked, bringing my attention back to the conversation. You all , not including him. That was fine. He was still here, still my friend. The pulling me onto his lap was a little confusing, but no more confusing than I had been with him all this time. Platonic friends, and I was okay with that because he was still here.
Ethan and Lachlan glanced at one another, but Chase’s eyes remained on me.
“I wouldn’t,” Nolan said. “Speaking purely from a logical standpoint, they are already calling her names. Regardless of whether we care what they think, Bailey’s been through enough of the name calling. Maybe choose a public spokesperson.”
“Spokesperson?” Chase raised his eyebrow.
“It’s not a bad idea. One of us who will act as the boyfriend, so the rest of us look like close friends.” Lachlan thought it through. “So, who will it be?”
And then all eyes were on me. I shook my head. “Nope! Not it. I didn’t want to choose between you guys before, and I’m not doing it now. Figure it out for yourselves.”
They all laughed, except for Chase. He stood and walked over to me. “Can we talk?”
Lachlan’s hands tightened on my thighs, anchoring me to him. Chase didn’t miss the movement, a guarded smirk playing with his lips.
I didn’t want them to fight, and I did want to see what Chase wanted to talk about. “Of course,” I said, reaching up to his outstretched hand and putting my hand in his. “I’ll be back.”
Lachlan wasn’t happy, his eyes turning hard as he stared at the fire. Ethan’s lips were pressed tight. I was safe with Chase, so I didn’t understand their reactions. I knew I was safe with Chase.
“They think I forced myself on you, at the party. They’re afraid I’ll do it again,” Chase whispered, chuckling. Though I didn’t hear much humor in it, did he believe what they thought?