Saving the Halfback

65. Bailey

65

Bailey

N olan and I helped load all the food Mom had made into Nolan’s car, and then he stepped back, standing next to me and crossing his arms. Mom took one look and nodded. Nolan liked my parents—he did anything they asked of him, always trying to help out—but right now, he was taking a stand. Someone had to go and deliver food to the volunteer relief station, and he was refusing to leave me.

“We could all go,” I offered.

Mom shook her head. “It’s safer for you here, Boo.” She placed her warm palm on my cheek, and I leaned into it. “I’ll be gone forty minutes, tops. The gun is loaded by the front door with the trigger lock on it, all right?” I nodded. “And if anyone pulls into this driveway, you are to call the cops, right? Call for police before you call any of the boys this time.”

I chuckled. “Yes, I will.”

She nodded to me before dropping her hand and looking at Nolan. “Take care of her.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

After Mom left Nolan, and I went back inside. The news station was still playing on the television; no one had turned it off at all today. We sat down and talked for a bit, but I was distracted. Where were the others? Had they made it to the grain bins yet or the barn? I was sure Grace would be there.

The news anchor came on, standing in the middle of a field while volunteers walked behind her in a line only an arm’s span away from one another. “At this time, there are no further updates on missing thirteen-year-old Grace Lynn O’Riley. As you can see, the search continues into the late afternoon. Police state a found letterman jacket she was wearing this morning has been taken into evidence. Bloodhounds are being used in an attempt to pick up a scent.

“Again, police are asking if Kenneth Walters is spotted that you do not approach. This man is potentially armed and dangerous. Please call the number listed below, volunteers are working through all calls that come in.

“Police are also asking that you do not contact the family at this time. Everyone’s sole focus is on the little girl and her well-being. The O’Riley family did make a statement earlier this afternoon, and we will play that clip in just a bit.

“Lastly, any abled volunteer is asked to sign in at the volunteer relief tent, located at Cloverton Anglican Church on Duncan Street. Any help is appreciated. Now we will play the clip.”

The statement from the O’Riley family had been filmed outside their sporting goods store. Mr. O’Riley was talking, wiping the tears from his eyes as he did so. His usually friendly face completely grief stricken. I didn’t hear what Mr. O’Riley was saying. I was too focused on Lachlan.

Mrs. O’Riley clung to Lachlan, weeping uncontrollably. Lachlan held her to him, his eyes completely void, his teeth clenched, and his body stiff. I watched as his lips moved slowly, small motions, but he wasn’t counting. “What’s he saying?” I asked Nolan.

Nolan shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t hear. But that word right there is kill , and he’s said it at least four times.”

“Fucking, goddammit!” I screamed with frustration, getting to my feet while I paced. “Do you see?” I raised my voice at Nolan. “Can’t you see how wrong this is? Us still here, doing nothing? How long has he had her for? Hours?”

Nolan stared at me, not responding right away. “Bailey—”

“No! No, I get it, but think this through. It took Ed years to prepare me, but it took him seconds to take from me, to wreck me. She’s been with him for hours. ”

Nolan seemed to fight with something in his mind. “What do we do, though? They are searching where you believe she is. They are searching where they believe she is. What more can we do? We will end up in the way.”

I growled, leaving the room and stomping up the stairs. Immature? Most likely. All I could think was— what is he doing ? At this very moment, what was he doing to her, and why couldn’t I have stopped it?

Reaching my room, I slammed the door shut before pacing the floor. Grace had willingly gotten into that car, which means she felt safe enough to trust him for some fucked-up reason.

I stopped and looked at my mirror, staring at my reflection.

I rushed over to my closet, whipping it open and grabbing the metal Little League T-ball bat from my childhood. I stood back before the mirror.

Me. Gracie had trusted Ed because of me.

I brought the bat back and swung through, smashing it into the mirror, watching my reflection crack.

Gracie got into that car because of me.

I brought the bat back again and swung. Shards of glass fell to the ground like glitter.

Gracie didn’t think to get help because of me. Because I stayed silent. Because I chose not to tell anyone about him. Because I didn’t think he had done this before, and I didn’t believe he would do it again.

I brought the bat back and threw it into the mirror over and over until I started going through drywall. From outside, Pops barked constantly. Not stopping. Never stopping.

I was the cause of this whole mess.

I hadn’t heard the door open, but I heard Nolan curse before he grabbed the bat, ripping it from my hands and tossing it across the room. “Bailey, stop!” He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me out of the glass and setting me on the window seat. I don’t know what he saw in me, but one glance into my eyes had him pressing his lips together in a hard line.

Nolan looked down at my feet and sighed. They were covered in blood, my bedroom floor smeared with blood and glass.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” he asked.

“What does it matter?”

Nolan shook his head. “Bailey, we will find her. She’s going to be unharmed, untouched.”

“And if she’s not?”

He cupped my cheek. “He picked the wrong family. We’re not going to stop, ever.”

I took a deep breath. “The first aid kit is in the bathroom under the sink.”

I leaned my head against the window, watching Pops pace around the fence line, barking again.

Nolan returned with the kit and a broom and dustpan. He sat down on the bench and took my foot into his lap. “That dog barks a lot,” he said as he got the tweezers out and began pulling shards out of my skin.

“He’s a guardian dog,” I said, trying to justify it. It was true, though. Guardian dogs were normally raised from early on, lived in the barn with livestock, or outside patrolling the grounds against any predators. They took their jobs seriously. They knew their land inside and out, knew the sounds, smells, everything. They knew when something wasn’t right.

Nolan took the other foot and began removing the shards, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was watching Pop’s behavior. Pacing the fence line, stopping as he faced the field and began barking again before returning to pacing. Now and then, he would pause, ears perked forward at something across the field, before he’d start barking again.

Nolan wiped my feet with a damp cloth and wrapped them up. “I’m going outside,” I said when Nolan started sweeping.

“Just—wait for me,” he said, trying to hurry.

“I’ll be quick. I’ll stay on the porch. I just need a breather.”

Nolan nodded. “I’ll be right there.”

Ignoring the stinging in my feet, I hurried down the stairs. I quickly slipped my shoes on, not stopping to wait on the porch. Instead, I went straight to Pops.

Pops hadn’t budged, his ears pointed forward, his eyes skimming the horizon. “Hey, big guy.” I reached out, giving his head a little scratch. He ducked his head into my hand for a moment before pulling away and looking back across the field. He gave a little growl before a deep, low woof.

Running to the fence, I climbed up, cupping my eyes, as if I could see better, but it was impossible. It was too far…yet close enough.

I got down just as Pops started barking like mad, taking off into the field faster than I thought possible for an old dog. That’s all I needed to know. My first instinct was to run to the garage, where the ATVs were parked, but I knew Nolan would hear and stop me. I was done being told to sit and stay.

Turning the other way, I sprinted to the barn. I didn’t take time to think as I ran into the tack room and grabbed my saddle and Titan’s bridle.

He pushed me up against this door, sticking his tongue down my throat, and promised me this was love.

I shoved the stall door open, and Titan raised his head, taking one look at me, and held still. Let’s do this , he was saying. I tossed the blanket onto his back.

Ed covered his hand over mine, ignoring the way it dwarfed mine. Ignoring how his hands were bigger, older than mine, meant to protect me. Instead, he used them to break me.

I thought of Gracie. Of the freckles that speckled her cheeks. Of the innocence that shone in her eyes. I couldn’t allow him to hurt her. I reached under Titan’s belly, pulling the cinch tight.

He gripped my hips as he ground himself into me. He told me my heart was beating fast because I was excited. He lied. It was fear.

I pushed through for Gracie. I had to do this for her. I grabbed the bridle, and Titan was all too keen to lower his head, letting me slip it on with ease.

He grabbed my breasts while I held the leather straps in my hands, frozen in place, not sure what to do. Mature women like this, he would say. So, I swallowed my protest despite the pain, because he’d always told me I was mature.

I remembered standing in the alleyway of the barn, Titan tied up, all ready to go, when he grabbed me by the hair, yanked down my pants, and forced himself into me. It was the first time. It was my first time. There was nothing special about it. It was painful and raw, and all the while, he told me how much my body wanted it because it responded to him. He told me I had to take it because I was his and this was what adults did.

No.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Ethan’s number. “What’s wrong?” He answered on the first ring.

“He’s at the abandoned property, the one across the creek. I think,” I added on. I didn’t want to pull them away in case it was just an old dog seeing a rabbit.

There was silence. “Where’s Nolan? We’re on the other side of the town, but—”

“You won’t make it in time,” I whispered.

“Bailey, you are NOT to go there,” Chase yelled. “Where the fuck is Nolan?”

“It took a minute.” I hung up the phone.

I ran out of the barn, Titan keeping pace, not even stopping as I reached up and threw myself up onto the saddle. And then Titan took off. Fearless Titan understood the assignment.

The truth was, it took a minute. It took a minute here and there for Ed to speak sweet nothings into my ear. It took a minute for him to tell me how amazing I was, and how brilliant I was, and how mature I was for my age.

It was a lie.

Me believing that I needed him to tell me those things? A lie. Those things were inside of me, whether he said them or not. I didn’t need him, I needed myself, and I was so sorry.

Behind me, I heard Nolan shouting, and I hoped he forgave me as Titan tore up the ground like a power-hungry racehorse.

I looked in the mirror of my room every day, and I found myself lacking, and I was so sorry. I was sorry I ripped myself open for Ed to slip in and spread his poison, making me believe I needed him to feel those things when I didn’t. I lied to myself every day when I didn’t see how beautiful and brilliant and worthy I was without him. I lied to myself, and I fell for him, and I let him harm me.

All this time, it wasn’t Ed’s ghost I’d been seeing. It wasn’t Ed’s words I’d been hearing. It was me. All this time, I’d been staring at my own reflection and telling myself the words he leaked into my brain were true. Because if I said it, I could believe it, and if I could believe it, that means it’s real? Right?

Wrong. When all I was told were lies, when all I trusted was Ed and not myself, of course he hurt me.

I could see my amber eyes staring back at me the way they had at the beginning of the year. So full of hope and doubt, sorrow and yearning. I was sorry I didn’t protect myself. I was sorry I didn’t listen to my heart when I said I was hurt. I was sorry I allowed the pain to spread through my veins for so long. But most of all…

I forgave myself.

I forgive myself because I didn’t know. I forgive myself for being a child. I forgive myself for being so innocent and pure that I put trust in the wrong person. I forgive myself for loving so deeply that I tried to love the wrong person.

I wasn’t seeking anything but connection. I didn’t know how to protect myself, because I didn’t know that, just because you're happy, doesn’t mean it’s right. That happiness shouldn’t involve parts of you dying, piece by piece.

Most of all… I forgive myself for lying to myself. For telling myself it didn’t hurt. For telling myself my pain was silly, unfounded. I forgive myself for not standing up for myself, because his actions were not my fault. The words others had spoken to me finally sank in… it wasn’t my fault. And for thinking it was for so long, I forgive myself .

I took a deep breath, bracing myself as the creek came into view. Titan was wild as he took the leap. I steadied my body, as if it hadn’t been years since I had done this last, and I let Titan take the lead for the jump before guiding him to the house where Pops was going mad barking.

No more. Ed would do this no more. I was no longer the naive little girl he took advantage of. Fear and doubt washed away, and that bud of rage within me grew, blooming furiously into something dark and beautiful. I was a fucking huntress, scars and all, and any man like him would fall before me while I forced the last bit of life from their eyes.

My heart screamed a warrior cry when I saw them. Ed was holding on to Gracie by the back of her neck, dragging her around and backing up from Pops. I slowed Titan as we got close, Ed and Grace looking up at me.

Ed was sickly. His hair was shaved on one side, revealing a long line of staples along his head. His face was carved up with fresh scars, taking their time to heal.

Gracie was terrified. She had a cut on her cheek, blood dripping down. “Take my hand,” I told her.

I reached down at the same time she jumped up, trying to get away from Ed. She wrapped both hands around my arm as I guided Titan away. Ed pulled back on Gracie’s shirt. “You whore!” he yelled at me. I wasn’t letting go of Gracie, though, and I was so damn happy Coach never let me back out of the weight room, no matter how much I had complained.

I raised my arm, lifting Gracie’s feet off the ground, and gave Titan a light shove with my hips. Ed struggled, being dragged along, until he planted his feet, yanking Gracie just enough to latch on to my arm, then he was pulling me. “Heya!” He kicked Titan, and Titan took off, sending Gracie and me tumbling to the ground.

I was the first to jump up, and Gracie let out a desperate cry as she watched Titan run down the way we had come. Pops was still barking at Ed, the obvious threat. I pulled Gracie behind me.

“Look what you did to me.” His voice was savage, his eyes bulging with fury, but I knew that was because he was in pain. I didn’t miss the way he limped, the way he cradled one arm a little more closely to his body.

“Run,” I told Gracie. “Go to the house, lock the door.”

“What about you?” she cried.

I didn’t care, I just needed her safe. I shoved her back, and she took off toward the porch but stopped there, crying as she held on to the rail. Pops ran back with her, standing on the porch, his bark relentless.

That was okay. All of Ed’s focus was on me, and Ed didn’t scare me anymore. I had grown so much since I had last seen him. I felt bigger than him. I’d learned how most of his words were lies. I had others who raised me up so high that I could finally see him for the small, broken man he was.

He lunged for me, but I dodged him, plowing my fist into the side he cradled so dearly. Ed cried out in pain, followed by a line of curses. “I knew you’d go to them. Once a whore, always a whore.”

“I see now why you only go after little girls. Sick, pathetic excuse of a person. You’re no man.”

Ed threw his fist at me but stopped at the roar of an engine.

Nolan.

Nolan jumped off the ATV before it came to a complete stop, putting himself in front of me and landing a fist into Ed’s face. “Go to Grace!” he yelled, blocking a blow from Ed.

I rushed over to Grace and pulled my phone out while Nolan and Ed grappled with one another. For someone recovering from being in a coma, Ed was strong. He had been a farm hand his whole life, though. Manual labor was in his blood.

I quickly called the police, telling the operator everything as fast as I could. I wasn’t sure what the exact address of the house was, so she was asking me questions to try to locate it.

Nolan threw his fist into Ed’s stomach, sending him to the ground. But Ed bounced back. “Watch out!” Grace screamed. Ed had grabbed a plank of wood and jumped up, slamming it into the side of Nolan’s face.

I dropped the phone and ran when Nolan fell to the ground, wincing and holding his head. He blinked rapidly, as if trying to get his vision back.

Ed grabbed the plank and turned on me. “We’ll see how much they love you when you look just like me,” he snarled.

I put my hands up to block the first hit, the force to my shoulder so strong, something popped, and I screamed. After that, I lost track of how many times the plank smashed into my body. I could do nothing but protect my head, at this point.

The assault was brutal, similar to how I imagined he’d felt when I attacked him with that shovel. Nolan staggered to his feet and threw himself forward, running into Ed and knocking him down.

Ed got up quickly, turning on Nolan, who was still trying to orientate himself.

“Hey!” I yelled at him. “You are just as weak as I remember,” I goaded.

I heard cars in the distance, doors opening and shutting, but that didn’t stop Ed. He pulled a small flip knife from his pocket, then grabbed me by the hair and ran the blade along my face. I screamed as warm liquid dripped down.

Ed turned around briefly, looking to see who had arrived. When his cold eyes turned back down at me, satisfaction crossed his face. The moment that passed between us seemed to move in slow motion. And then it clicked. He thinks he hurt me? He thinks he broke me? Because he beat me? A smile of my own spread across my face because I knew exactly who had shown up.

“You may have broken me as your princess, but they will always love me as their queen,” I rasped, spitting a mouthful of blood at him.

His smile turned to a snarl, and he raised the knife above his head, ready to plunge it into my neck.

I flinched when two gunshots went off, one after the other. Ed cried out, releasing my hair and stumbling to the side before falling to the ground.

The hot copper taste filled my mouth while I sank to my knees. I didn’t hit the ground like Ed did, though. Hands grabbed me.

“Just stay still, Bailey.” Nolan’s voice was raw. He was on his knees, crippled over as his hand hovered above my cheek. “There’s a lot of blood.”

“Where’s Gracie?” I asked. I couldn’t hear her cries anymore. Pops, too, had stopped barking. I looked up at Chase and froze with how pale he had gone. “Is she okay?”

“Lachlan has Grace.” Ethan knelt down, taking his phone out and quickly putting it to his ear. “We need an ambulance.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s deep…” I reached my hand up to the side of my head, where pressure was building, and winced as it stung. I looked at my blood-coated hand.

Gurgling sounded beside us, capturing my attention. I turned my head to see Ed attempting to crawl away. Ethan swung around, but Lachlan’s voice rang out clear. “He’s mine!”

Lachlan stalked forward to the body in question, assessing him for a moment before driving his boot into Ed’s side. There was an audible crunch that had my stomach roiling. Lachlan grabbed him by the shoulder and flipped him over onto his back before placing his foot on Ed’s chest.

I tried to get up, but Ethan put a hand on my shoulder, holding me still.

“Let me up,” I demanded.

Nolan pushed Ethan’s hand away, and even though he was struggling himself, he helped me get to my feet. With his support, I hobbled over to Ed.

“You sick son of a bitch. Think you can just die so easily?” Lachlan growled. Ed’s eyes bulged with fear as he gasped for air, the weight of Lachlan’s foot likely suffocating. Blood pooled quickly beneath him. “You dare touch her and think you can just escape through death? I hope the gates of hell open up for you. I hope you drown in the blood of sinners. I hope you burn slowly, agonizingly. And when you beg for mercy, I hope you remember them. I hope their eyes haunt you, even in your death.”

Ed’s dark eyes shifted to mine, and it was almost as if he were begging me. For what? Mercy. How dare he? Something in me snapped, and a slow smile spread across my face. I could feel warm liquid dripping down, following the curve of my chin. “It’s about time someone taught you a lesson,” I rasped.

Realization dawned on Ed as Lachlan added more pressure to his chest, and I stood there, watching, as Ed desperately clawed at Lachlan’s boot, struggling to pull in a breath that was just out of reach. Until he lay still, his eyes glazing over, lifeless.

“That’s enough bleeding,” Ethan said, as if I could do anything about it. I rolled my eyes at him, but when he scooped me up, I cried out.

“My arm!” I pulled it out from between our bodies.

“B.” Ethan quickly walked with me to the truck. Chase lowered the tailgate for us, and Ethan sat me on it.

First, my eyes landed on Gracie. She stood not far from the truck, staring at me. Her face was red and tearstained, a little blood on her cheek, but otherwise, she looked untouched. Then my eyes swung to them.

The four of them just stood there, their gazes on me.

Lachlan was shaking with rage, but he was the first to step forward. I didn’t doubt, by the look in his eyes, that he wanted nothing more than to bring Ed back from the grave just so he could put him in it again. Despite the coldness in his eyes, he reached out with gentle fingers as he touched my arm. “It’s swollen and turning purple,” he growled.

“I don’t think it’s broken.” I could feel the pain radiating deep into my bones, but I could still move my fingers. That meant something…right?

Ethan moved next, though it wasn’t to me. He turned and stalked into the house behind him.

Nolan stepped up, and I found myself closing my eyes. The longer I sat there, the more pain I felt. My head throbbed, like the worse migraine I had ever experienced. Nolan took my chin in his hands and tilted it up, inspecting the side of my face.

“Is it bad?” I asked, my energy depleting fast.

He brushed my hair back. “You’re going to need stitches. What did he cut you with?”

“Pocket knife.”

“Don’t you ever leave me again,” Nolan snapped, but he didn’t get angry the way Chase tended to. I doubted Nolan could ever get angry with me.

I reached out to touch his cheek, but my body swayed forward. Nolan caught me, helping me lie down. Suddenly, the tailgate became the most comfortable bed ever. I curled up on my side.

“Stay awake, baby.” Lachlan’s voice was soothing.

“Mmm. Maybe. Just ten more minutes,” I whispered.