Fifty-Three
Song: Lovely - Billie Eilish Ft. Khalid
The four queens talked for what seemed like hours.
They really did seem like they were best friends. Anyone could have mistaken them for mid-twenties women catching up on each other's lives during brunch.
Not centuries-old magical faeries with more power than I'd ever felt from anyone else other than Damien.
Eventually, once Rai stated that she wanted to explore the city, they left, wanting to do the same.
The queens spectered away and immediately the room became instantly cold.
One of the queens had changed the temperature of the outside patio to make it warm and comfortable. It was probably Sili or Rai.
I grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair I was sitting in, put it on and made my way inside with Mehnit close by.
Asmodeus and Oren waited for me where they had been before. Oren was close to the door while Asmodeus leaned against a wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. As I made my way inside, they followed quietly and it was only once we were in the elevator going back up that Asmodeus spoke.
"Well?"
Placing my hands on the rail on the back of the elevator, I leaned my back against it. As kind as the queens were, I still had a lot of tension throughout the meeting. I finally released it with a heavy sigh. "There is no threat. It was a false alarm."
When I looked over at Asmo, I watched him release his own sigh of relief. His shoulders loosened and he shut his eyes as he leaned against the elevator wall behind him too.
I nudged him with my heel. "Worry-wart," I teased.
His shoulders shook as he let out a small laugh. I'd never seen Asmo so happy. "What a relief."
Oren smiled. "Alteaza, would you like to visit the city as well? All of the other courts will be doing it."
I shook my head. "No. I can't. I--" I shook my head again. "There's too much going on. There are things I need to figure out." I swallowed. "I need to talk to Damien."
Oren nodded. "We can begin preparations to leave as soon as you like."
I smiled at him as the elevator stopped. "Do you want to see the city? I can stay in my room while you all do."
Asmo shook his head. "That's not possible. We won't be leaving your side."
I sighed heavily. "You should, Asmo. When was the last time you took a break?"
He only raised an eyebrow. "We won't be leaving our queen in a hotel alone in Paris to sightsee, Emylin. Don't be ridiculous."
I rolled my eyes as the elevator stopped on our floor making Oren laugh.
He led us to the room as Asmo and I continued to bicker.
"I'm not being ridiculous, Asmo. I don't need to go with you. Everyone's been working really hard lately. You need to go enjoy yourself sometimes. Besides, how often have you been in Paris?"
"Often enough. I don't care to see it if it means leaving you here alone."
I groaned as Oren began to open the door for me. Mehnit sprinted inside as soon as she could fit in the door. "Fine, I'll go. I just need to find something low-key in my bags."
"And warm, it's pretty cold outside."
I shrugged my jacket off as I crossed the threshold of the room. "Nag, nag, nag. Gods, Asmo, is that all you do?"
I froze as I made it inside and noticed a lone figure sitting on the small couch of the suite I'd been occupying.
Damien sat on the couch, scratching Mehnit behind the ears as she sat on his lap. She purred as he did, tilting her head this way and that so he could reach better. He didn't seem to mind if she got his hair on his black pants and shirt.
He smiled as he pet her and for a moment I saw him in more peace than I'd seen him in a long time. His violet eyes looked at me. "Hello, Em."
"Hey," I breathed.
Something clicked behind me and when I turned, the door had been shut, leaving just Damien and me in the room.
He signaled towards the cat. "What's her name?"
I tossed the jacket I'd taken off to the table nearby. "Mehnit. She's a gift from the Summer Queen."
He nodded as he continued to scratch her. "She's well mannered."
I nodded as I went to the small bar in the room. "Do you want something to drink? I can call room service if you're hungry or something." I nodded at Chelie's gift from the morning. "Unless you want about a hundred pounds of dark chocolate?"
He laughed, shaking his head.
I frowned as I watched him. "I didn't think you'd come. Is everything all right?"
He picked up Mehnit and set her on the floor before standing. He nodded as he placed his hands in his pockets. "Yes. Julian, Vyssen and I went to the Seals. Everything is all right. Nothing is amiss."
At the mention of Julian's name, my heart skipped a beat.
I let out a long breath. "Good."
He began to walk towards me. "And the meeting with the queens?"
I smiled. "False alarm. The Valkyries haven't alerted the queen to anything. They only wanted to meet me." I stopped. "Well, actually, they had a couple of other things to say but they just mostly wanted to meet me."
He smiled. "Then everything seems to be all right then."
I was afraid to say what I was thinking out loud. If I did, would it make it less true?
I swallowed, slowly gathering my courage. "So, is it over?"
Damien nodded hesitantly. "As far as the Dark Ones, it seems to be." He shook his head, his mood solemn again. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Em," he whispered. "I should have."
I shrugged. "I would have said yes anyway if you told me. But it would have been nice to have heard it from you, not Asmo."
He exhaled loudly, seeming to need to do it to release tension. "I don't like to keep secrets from you."
I frowned. "Then why do you?"
He sighed, running a nervous hand through his hair. "Because I can't think of any other way to protect you."
I shook my head, frustrated. "We can't keep doing this, Damien. It won't work. Keeping secrets is how we got here in the first place."
He nodded and placed a hand on my cheek. "You're right, of course. No more secrets." I watched his eyes move between mine then back at his hand. He let me go and made his way back to the couch, sitting on it with his hands on the back of it on either side. "What else did the queens tell you?"
I sighed as I sat down heavily on the couch next to him. "Well, that we need time apart, for one thing."
He gave my favorite smile. "Is that so? What else did they say?"
I turned to him. "We're not meant to stay together. The woman you're meant to be with-you two aren't ready yet."
If I expected a bit of surprise on his part, I was disappointed. He didn't even bat an eye as he reached over and touched my hair. "That's interesting."
I frowned. "That's all you'll say about it?"
He sighed deeply, letting the strands of my hair go. "I don't believe in destiny, Em. I don't believe that there's someone out there made for you. Your destiny is what you make it, not necessarily how it's been drawn. I would hate to think that I have no control of my life."
I looked away. "When you put it that way..." I rested my head on his shoulder. "Rai said you realized that we need time apart." I paused. "Is that true?"
When he didn't answer, I turned to him and watched his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed. "I thought that this morning. After everything we've been through, we may need some time to ourselves." He sighed. "Whatever this is, we're forcing it. As long as we do that, it won't work."
I frowned. "Isn't this what we wanted?"
His eyes met mine and I had to hide my surprise.
He never looked so vulnerable, so small.
"I think I was trying to piece my life together the way I thought I wanted it before Robyn...
" He shook his head. "Before he came back.
We're trying to force it, we both are. I love you, Em, but not in the same way I used to.
I can't explain it." He smiled softly. "We're not the same people we used to be. "
I watched him as he spoke and as I did I realized I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry...in fact, I kind of felt relieved.
We were forcing it. We both were. None of it felt natural. I didn't feel the same as I had with...
I didn't let myself think it.
The queens were right. I needed-- no, wanted time for myself.
It seemed that Damien did too.
He was still watching me. "I'm sorry, Em."
I frowned. "I think that in all that time- you saving me from Robyn, dying, bringing you back and saving you, I grasped on to what I could... maybe I convinced myself I was in love with you when all along I just didn't want to lose you." I looked up at him. "Does that make sense?"
He smiled.
"I guess we are better as friends."
He let out a long breath and with the arm that was over the couch, he pulled me closer to him. He planted a kiss on my temple. "Best friends. I love you, MM."
I reached out with my magic and felt his resolution in the decision. He was at peace, calm.
It was like Rai had said. He did need to heal just like I had once.
I laughed at the annoying nickname he'd given me when we were kids. "Friends then."
He nodded. A mischevous smile hinted his lips. "What will you tell Julian?"
"What? Why?"
He shrugged. "I saw how you two looked at each other." He laughed. "He really can't keep his eyes off you."
I smiled at him as he laughed. He really did find it funny.
"He tried," Damien laughed. "Gods, he's really tried. I have to give him credit for that."
"I don't know." I shook my head. "Not that it matters. I already told him that I chose you. I'm with you and I'm sure he's back with his ex, Vyssen."
Damien's eyebrows rose as I said it.
Admittedly, I surprised myself by my tone too. It was cold, matter-of-fact.
I was relieved to finally tell him about Julian but saying my suspicions about Vy and Julian only made it truer to me. I'd seen him with Vy at the party, they made sure to greet me, together. He had made sure to show me that he had moved on after telling him I wanted to be with Damien.
I couldn't fault him for it.
And I couldn't be jealous either.
I made my choice.
He made his.
Magic bond or not.
I shook my head. "Julian doesn't need to know. He's with Vy."
Damien's lip quirked ever so slightly. "If that's what you want."
I nodded.
He gave a small nod. "All right."
"So, time apart," I said as I sighed deeply and cuddled under the crook of his arm like we had as children. "What does that mean, exactly? I guess we can't live together in the Keep anymore."
I felt him shake his head. "That's probably for the best."
I frowned. "I think I want to go back to school."
He laughed. "Of course you would."
"Hey, I didn't have much school left. I want to at least finish it if I can." I frowned. "I don't know if I can go back to living with my parents though." I shook my head. "I mean, they accept me and what's happening but after what I learned of how I came to be their daughter, I feel too guilty."
"You didn't know, Em."
"I want to live in the Human realm though, maybe I can get a small apartment or something." I sighed heavily. "There's still a lot to figure out. Maybe I can take this time to do it."
He kissed my temple again. "That's a great idea." He paused. "You'll still be queen but there's always the Council. You'll always have the last word on what they say even though they see the day to day affairs."
I looked at him. "You're not ready yet, then?"
He shook his head. "You can't imagine the amount of magic it took for me to specter across realms. I'm still... not sure."
I smiled to myself. I straightened, looking at him. "It's like the roles are reversed. Like you're human and I'm the all-powerful fae."
He laughed. "I guess so."
I laughed. "So do I show up at the Keep once a week or something?"
He shrugged. "I'll text you. Or Asmo will. If you do live in the Human Realm, you will need guards. We'll figure something out."
"So what do we do now?" I asked.
He stood. "Now?" He reached a hand towards me much in the same way he had the first time we met as children on the deck of my parent's backyard. "Let's go see Paris."