Chapter 30
Wren
The palette of colors stare at me, a vivid reminder of my fear that I voiced to Ethan yesterday.
What if I start and…I don’t love it anymore?
These paints are the good kind too. Teddy really splurged when he bought all the art supplies for me.
Maverick, Teddy, and Ethan are working in the cabin, while Brennan sits in the back yard with me, patiently waiting as I stare at a blank canvas.
It took forever for me to get myself to come out here. I hadn’t been eager to find out if the one thing I used to love more than anything in the world is suddenly meaningless to me, so I stalled by looking at homes on my phone.
I’m actually pretty sure I found the perfect one. It has six bedrooms, a fireplace, a reading nook, and an actual white picket fence.
Brennan shifts, the rustling of his clothes snapping me back to the present as I eye my canvas again.
I had thought doing a simple landscape would be easy enough, but I’m struggling. The overalls they got me from the nesting store are way more comfortable than my old ones, but I still feel like something’s…off.
I huff a breath, crossing my arms, staring at the blank white rectangle like it personally offended me.
“What’s wrong?” Brennan comes up from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. Leaning into his hold again, I sigh.
“I don’t know.” I glance at the paints again. “Something is missing.”
“Like…a specific kind of paint brush…?”
I shake my head. “No, I mean…” A huff leaves me. “I don’t even know what I mean. I feel like I want to paint…but I might be…scared.”
“Why would you be scared, Song Bird?”
“I don’t know…” Frowning, I stare harder at the canvas.
“Every time I’ve painted before this…it wasn’t just because I wanted to.
First, it was because my grandfather wanted to see what I could do.
Then, it was because I had to earn money to escape my parents.
Then, Teddy set it up for our date, but… ”
“I think you’re thinking too hard about it.” His chin rests on my shoulder. “What about some music? That’s what I put on whenever I—um, whenever I do anything creative.”
I shake my head again. “I’ve never painted to music before.” No, I’ve only painted in the lonely silence that used to envelop me like a glass cage.
“Here,” he takes a step back, pulling out his phone. A few clicks later, a song is coming out of the speakers.
Oh. I didn’t know that phones could play music.
My parents only ever let me listen to classical.
Of course, I tried to look up other kinds online with my school desktop computer, but never got through more than a song or two before I was promptly shut down.
When the sound of an electric guitar jumps into the song, something in my blood lights up, and I find myself moving my shoulders to the beat.
“I like this!” A feeling of lightness fills my chest, and I smile, turning to look up at him.
“Ethan says my taste in music is Emo, but he won’t be able to make fun of it now that you like it,” he grins at me.
I give in to the urge to close my eyes. The music has an upbeat rhythm, and I find myself bouncing on the balls of my feet.
Suddenly, my chest…it feels lighter. The notes and lyrics of the music do something to me, and my fingers itch to put the paint brush to the canvas.
I can’t help it—my eyes fly open as I nearly jump into his arms, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Thank you,” I say quickly before scrambling back down and returning to my canvas.
Fuck the landscape, I’m painting something else.
My brush dips into the blue, and I’m not even sure what I’m painting, but my head bobs as I move the brush across the canvas. I’m lost to the music as song after song plays, each one speaking to my soul as lyrics about heartbreak, angst, love, and freedom pass through my ears.
At one point Brennan switches up the playlist to what he calls “punk-pop”, and I love it just as much. Refills of iced tea keep appearing on the small stool next to me, and I’m grateful to Brennan as he sits back and watches me work.
I don’t know why I was so afraid of losing my passion for art.
The brushstrokes can’t be contained as I switch to a finer brush, letting the small details and whimsey fly out of me,
Unfettered. Unrestrained. Unafraid.
How have I never realized how much I was holding back before? Why did I hold back? Because I had to make something I knew would sell?
This piece though…I wouldn’t sell it for all the money in the world.
My chest heaves as I step back, staring at the canvas. It’s…beautiful.
A jagged bird cage, made of all sorts of different colors—the style is messy and nowhere near perfect.
But the door to the cage? It’s wide open, and there’s a dove, flying far, far away.
“Oh, Song Bird,” Brennan breathes. “It’s mesmerizing.”
I wipe the sweat from my forehead, my chest still heaving. The style is a little less polished than I would normally do, but there’s something entrancing about the imperfections. “I don’t want to sell this one.”
“What if I wanted to buy it from you?” Brennan grins, twisting me to face him.
“How much would you pay for it?” I giggle breathlessly, looping my arms around his neck.
“Everything,” he murmurs before leaning down, our lips meeting in a sweet kiss. “I think whatever house we buy needs to have an art studio.”
My eyes widen. “An art studio?”
“I doubt we’ll find one with a studio already built,” he muses, his eyes sparkling as he rubs his nose against mine. “We can just up the bedroom count in our criteria or find one with a den and convert it.”
The thought of a space just for me to make art makes my heart flutter. “That…that would be amazing. I have one saved on my phone and I’m pretty sure it would be perfect for that. But…what if the other guys don’t agree?”
“Agree with what?” Maverick asks, stretching as he comes out the back door.
Brennan’s eyes don’t leave mine. “Finding a house with an extra bedroom so Wren can make it into an art studio.”
“That’s an excellent idea,” Maverick says, walking across the grass to reach us. “If nothing else, we can always build out on the property to add it in—” his steps stutter as his eyes land on the canvas. “Wren…this is amazing.”
My cheeks heat under his praise as I glance at the painting again. “Thank you.”
Ethan and Teddy appear at the back door, rubbing their eyes. For a moment, I feel bad that they’ve been working all day on my behalf, but then their gazes land on us and the painting, and all bad feelings fly out the window.
“‘Ello there, Dove,” Teddy greets, spinning me out of Brennan’s hold and kissing me. “”Ad a good day, ‘ave you?”
Another giggle escapes me, and I nod. “Yep. Brennan introduced me to some new music, and I painted.”
His eyes dart to the canvas behind me, eyes widening slightly before a huge grin takes over. “Well, I daresay that’s your best work yet, Dove.”
Ethan hums in agreement, coming up behind me and pressing a kiss to my neck. “I have to agree—though I haven’t seen any besides the bumblebee one and the Teddy Thirst Trap.”
A shiver runs through me, and I quickly step away, pointing an accusing finger at him. “No. No neck kissing unless you can follow through on the promise.”
I’m a little surprised at my own forthrightness, but Ethan just grins. “What promise?” He asks innocently, taking a step towards me.
“The promise of…things,” I practically hiss, taking another step back. “You know that neck kisses make me melt into a pile of goo and I don’t need you getting me all hot and bothered when you’re going to go right back to work after dinner.”
My face is flushed, but I’m done acting all shy and embarrassed around my guys regarding sex. I have had it four times now, thank you very much. I’m practically an expert.
Ethan chuckles, raising his hands in surrender. “Fair enough, Little Bird.” His eyes go to the canvas again. “Huh.”
“What?” I frown, walking over to him and looking at the painting as well. The five of us surround the piece of art in a semi-circle, casting a shadow of our silhouettes. Maybe I’ll have to do a painting involving that at some point.
“I was just thinking…” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Remember how that police officer pulled up a video of that girl showing your artwork?”
My brows furrow. “Yeah?”
“Well, what if you made your own account? Revealed your artwork first?”
Teddy grins, throwing an arm over Ethan’s shoulder. “I knew you were bound to ‘ave a good idea at some point in your life.”
“Oh fuck off,” Ethan grins back, pushing Teddy off him. “We can keep your face out of it—there are plenty of famous artists who don’t show themselves. I bet you’d get a good following.”
“What would I do with a following?” I take my phone from the stool next to my canvas, opening one of the apps that the guys showed me. I search “faceless artist” to see what comes up.
He’s right, there are a ton of people who don’t show their faces.
“If you can get your name out there,” Maverick muses, “you can make a more public career of your art. Unless, of course, you don’t want to. You could just paint for fun the rest of our lives if that’s what you want to do—we’re behind you no matter what.”
My bottom lip tugs under my teeth. I’ve answered the question of whether or not my love for art has died out, now I just need to figure out what I want to do with it.
“You don’t have to decide anything today, obviously,” Brennan says quickly. “But in the interest of full disclosure, I did take a short video of you painting with your phone while you were in the zone.”
Frowning, I open up my photo album and click on the most recent video. It doesn’t show my face, since it’s purely from behind me, but it’s easy to see the confidence in my brushstrokes and the way I move.
When did I become this self-assured woman? What happened to me? Actually, I already know—and they’re all surrounding me.
“That’s sick as hell!” Teddy grins, lightly bumping me with his arm.
“If you were to upload a video, it could be a clip of that, and then a still of the final art piece,” Ethan says thoughtfully. “If it turns out to be something you like, you could also do a timelapse video from start to finish.”
“That’s…a lot to swallow.” My mind races with the possibilities. “You guys…you guys think this is something that would get me a ‘following’ or whatever?”
“We already saw all the reactions to the video those police officers showed us,” Maverick shrugs. “I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”
Why do I blush every single time Maverick gives me the slightest bit of praise?
“I’ll think about it,” I say finally. “For now I’m just glad that I haven’t lost my love for painting.”
Ethan presses a kiss to my head. “I knew it would work out.” He smiles down at me, and in the reflection of his glasses, I see that I have a huge smear of blue paint across my face.
“You guys!” I gasp, my hands flying up to cover my cheeks. “Why did nobody tell me I had paint all over me?”
Maverick shrugs. “I figured you knew.”
Brennan winces, and Teddy chuckles. “I just fink you look fuckin’ adorable.”
I huff, wiping my hands on my overalls. “Well, now I need to get a shower.”
When I move to grab my canvas, Brennan tuts me away. “You go get cleaned up, we’ll bring everything inside. Don’t worry, we’ll be careful.”
“Thank you,” I press a kiss to his cheek before turning to Ethan, “Do you need help with dinner, Bossy Bear?”
Every time I call him that, a dangerous glint flashes across his eyes that sends a little thrill through me.
He gives me a sharp smile. “What was that about not being able to follow through on promises?”
I bite my lip. “I’m not promising anything.”
“Every time you call me ‘Bossy Bear’,” he murmurs, taking a step towards me and leaning down, “it makes me want to put you over my knee.”
Oh.
Why…why do I like the sound of that?
“Sorry…” I bite my lip, unsure of what’s gotten into me, “Bossy Bear.”
“Fuck me,” he practically groans, stepping so close I can feel his bulge press against my stomach. “You really are a brat.”
His words send a thrill through me, but before I can answer, Maverick is ushering Ethan away. “Nope! No humping the omega in the back yard—we have work to do.”
My mouth drops open before a shock of laughter leaves me. “Mav!”
Maverick shoots me a wink over his shoulder, and then Teddy and Brennan are waving me inside. “Go get cleaned up.” Brennan grins, shaking his head. “We ordered Chinese for dinner, so Bossy Bear will not be requiring any help.”
I thank my guys again, heading inside and going straight up to the nest. I’m not sure where Ethan and Maverick have gone, but I’m not worried about it.
As I watch the water pool at my feet in the shower, a rainbow of greens, blues, grays, and pinks, I think I feel more like myself than I ever have.