Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
HAVEN
Hot water pelts against my body as I stand under the showerhead, wanting to wash away everything about today.
The police took Tabor into custody, though it’s clear he’ll be going into a psychiatric hospital.
The expression on his face when he surrendered haunts me, and even though I shouldn’t feel bad for a man who held me at gunpoint, I can’t stop myself because truthfully, it was sad seeing him that way.
I half-ass wash my hair, unable to form enough strength to properly do it even though Dallas brought all my bath products to The Tower because I couldn’t stand to stay at The Nest any longer.
After everything that happened just hours ago, that was the last place I wanted to be.
I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be ready to go back because every time I see my bedroom, I’m afraid I’ll imagine Tabor, pressing that gun into my spine while forcing me to pack my bags.
The sound of the door cracking open startles me, and my heart instantly begins pumping faster.
“You okay, Short?” Dallas asks, and I relax, though it’s going to take a moment for my heart to settle.
“Yeah,” I say, reaching forward and turning the shower off before I slowly pull the curtain back.
He grabs a towel and takes a few steps toward me as I step out of the tub. He wraps it around me gently, careful not to move too fast. I hate that now he feels like I’m fragile.
And I hate even more that I really am.
“There you go,” he whispers, wiping my face. He helps dry me off more, and I stand here, frozen in place and completely numb. “Come on, your clothes are in my room. Don’t worry, everyone is in the living room.”
He wraps the towel around my body before taking my hand and leading me out of the bathroom and down the hall to his bedroom. When we walk in, I sink to the bed silently.
“Shit, I grabbed your clothes for tomorrow, but I forgot your pajamas.” Dallas cringes. “I can run over and get you—”
“No,” I say weakly, interrupting because the thought of him leaving right now sends me into a panic. Even in the shower, he promised me he would be right outside the door. “Don’t go.”
My eyes find his, and he nods. “Okay,” he whispers. “What about a pair of my sweatpants and a T-shirt? Would that be good?”
“Yes,” I answer. “Thank you.”
Shortly after, he stands in front of me before kneeling down. “Can I help you get dressed?” he asks, and I know he’s scared now. Scared to hurt me. Afraid that I’m fragile and he’ll make things worse. He’s treating me like I’m going to break, and I hate it.
I nod my head, and hesitantly, he first pulls the sweatpants up over my legs, sliding them under the towel.
He works slowly, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time.
Once my sweatpants are on, he brings a T-shirt over my head, not removing the towel until the shirt falls over it—like he hasn’t already seen what’s underneath, though I do appreciate him being so gentle right now.
Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to my forehead. When I don’t move to get into the bed myself, he slides his arms around me and lifts me higher onto the mattress before setting me down then grabbing one of my huge plush blankets he brought over from The Nest and placing it over me.
“Thank you,” I say weakly. “Will you lie with me. Please?”
He drops onto the mattress beside me before pulling me back to his chest. I feel safe in this moment, but I know that when he has to leave or I have to finally face real life without him beside me, that feeling of security will be gone.
Tabor took it, and I don’t know when or if I’ll ever get it back.
I snuggle lower against him so that my nose is touching his arms as they remain wrapped around me. I know he has homework that I was going to help him with, but right now, I can’t do it. And selfishly, I don’t want him to either. I just want him close to me.
“Do you think he’ll ever come back,” I whisper, my voice so weak it’s barely audible. It’s a thought that just keeps running through my head, but I haven’t wanted to say it out loud or put it into the universe. I can’t help it though. It’s too consuming.
“No, Short,” he says back softly. “I don’t think he’ll bother you again.”
I know that even if he believed he would be back, he wouldn’t tell me. So even though I’m sure he’s lying, I take comfort in him saying it anyway.
“Thank you for …” I stop as my throat grows raw and the backs of my eyes sting.
I know there was probably a big part of Dallas that wanted Tabor to die today so that he had the reassurance he’d never come back.
Yet he talked him down so it didn’t end that way.
And even though he hasn’t said it, I think he did that for me.
Because as great as it would be to sleep knowing Tabor would never be able to hurt me again, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if he died in front of me. I’ll take this fear over that burden any day.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep for a long, long time. But I know that if I have any shot of it at all, it’s going to be in this man’s arms. So, reluctantly, I close my eyes, hoping to drift off to sleep.
Knowing as long as he’s here, nothing bad can happen.