Asa
The front door of my condo feels heavier than usual, the lock clicking home with a finality that doesn't bring the peace I expect. I lean my forehead against the cool wood, my breath hitching as the silence of the apartment rushes in to meet me. It’s too quiet.
After a day of seeing Jorak in the back of my lecture hall, his dark, predatory gaze tracking every move I make, the absence of him is a physical ache in my chest.
Almost as if not having him close for the first time in four days is more than just an annoyance.
I drop my keys on the console table, my skin humming with a frantic, electric pulse that doesn’t really make any sense. I walk into the kitchen, my hands shaking as I reach for a glass, the cold surface of the faucet startling against my palm.
Restless, I move toward the bedroom instead, stripping off my blazer and tossing it toward the chair.
It misses, sliding to the floor in a heap of charcoal wool.
I don't pick it up. I can't focus on the geometry of the room or the orderly stack of papers on my desk.
My vision keeps blurring at the edges, my body feeling two sizes too small for the energy vibrating inside me. I need to move. I need to stop.
I pull my shirt over my head, the silk catching on the damp heat of my skin. I’m not in heat but the sweat along my back says differently, the scent of my slick spilling into the air as my underwear dampens with it.
A thin, desperate coating of moisture gathers between my thighs, a betrayal of my own anatomy that makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I’m reacting to him. My body is looking for its Esper, an Esper I should have never met, never touched, and definitely can’t have.
I let out a small frustrated growl as I quickly change and then drag myself to the kitchen table, trying to focus on grading rather than the beautiful six-foot Enigma that ran out of my classroom earlier.
The letters on the page begin to swim, rearranging themselves into the shape of Jorak's mouth.
I slam the pen down, the plastic casing snapping under the sudden pressure of my grip.
"Get it together, Asa," I whisper to the empty room.
When yelling at myself doesn’t work, I stuff myself into the shower, hoping the cold will rid my body of the heat pulsating through it. Two minutes later, my phone vibrates on the counter just outside the curtain.
I almost ignore it, thinking it’s Mira calling to check on my sanity again, but the rhythm is different. The three-buzz vibration is only for numbers I don’t have saved. I reach out, my wet hand fumbling with the glass screen until I swipe it open.
"Asa."
The name is a low rumble in my ear, a sound that bypasses my brain and goes straight to my nerves.
It’s Jorak. His voice is rough, sounding as though he's been shouting or screaming, or perhaps just breathing in the same heavy, humid air that is currently suffocating me. I slide down the wall of the shower until I’m sitting on the floor, the water pounding against my shoulders.
"Jorak," I rasp. I sound pathetic. "Why are you calling?"
"I needed to hear you," he says. I can hear the background noise on his end, the clinical hum of servers, the distant, muffled shout of an orderly. He must be at the center or wherever he stays. "I could feel you. You're vibrating so hard I can't think. What did you do to yourself?"
That shouldn’t be possible. Except... a compatible Esper and Guide bond differently than an Alpha and an Omega. It’s fast, chaotic, and can be almost deadly if they’re separated too long.
Fuck. That explains the uneasiness I’m feeling.
"I didn't do anything," I snap, though there’s no heat in it, bringing myself back to reality.
His rhythmic breathing has my nerves settling almost immediately, my body moving on autopilot.
I grip my cock with my free hand, my fingers slick with soap and water.
The contact sends a jolt of pure, unadulterated electricity through my spine.
"I'm just... I'm at home. I'm in the shower. I'm fine."
Asa, what the fuck are you doing?
"You're a liar," Jorak murmurs. I can hear the smirk in his voice, the arrogant, possessive edge that usually makes me want to slap him.
Now, it just makes me whimper. "You're touching yourself.
I can hear the way your breath is hitching.
You're thinking about the way I held you in your office.
You're thinking about how it felt when I was inside you. "
"Shut up," I choke out. I start to stroke myself, my movements frantic and uncoordinated. I’m angry at him, at the ESA, at the failing nodes under the city, but mostly I’m angry at how much I want him.
Not just my body but me. I force my hand away from my cock and crawl out of the shower onto the rug as a gush of slick runs down my thighs.
“How... how did you even get my number?”
He snorts. “I have connections.” He pauses then before his voice softens into something almost like a purr.
“I needed this. To hear you, Asa. I... against everything I know about biology and Espers and Guides, the bond’s already started.
It felt awful being pulled away from the campus. And then I felt when you got home.”
I scrunch up my face, hating that my body is responding without my say so. “So, what... I’m just your guide now?”
More slick moves down my thighs as I rock my hips forward, my Omega absolutely delighted with that idea.
A low whine slips out before I can slap it back.
This time Jorak doesn’t chuckle, he purrs in response, driving my need higher.
“I didn’t know it was possible but I can’t stop it anymore than you can. But... I can... stay away or...”
Despair collides with need in my chest and I can’t tell if that’s the biology speaking or me. Maybe a little bit of both. "No! No. I just... I need you. Jorak, please. You need to come here. I can't... I can't settle. Everything is too loud."
I hear him catch his breath, a sharp intake of air that sounds like a snarl.
For a second, he doesn't say anything, and the silence is worse than the teasing.
I close my eyes, hot tears mixing with the cold air of the bathroom.
I fall back to sit on my calves, wrapping my hand around my cock again, my chest heaving as I move my hand faster.
"I can't, Asa," he says. The playfulness is gone, replaced by a flat, dead tone that makes my heart drop into my stomach. "I'm tied up. They keep me on a short leash after classes and definitely after a surge. They've got me under suppression until the deployment window opens."
"I don't care about whatever sector," I sob, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. I’m a thirty-two-year-old professor of mathematics, and I’m crying just outside the shower because a man can't come over to fuck me.
"I need you here. I'll do whatever you want.
I'll sign the papers. Just come. Please. "
"Don't say that," Jorak growls, his voice dropping to a dangerous, gravelly register. "Don't you ever say you'll sign anything for them. You're mine, Asa. Not the ESA's. If I could tear this building down to get to you right now, I would."
"Then do it," I plead. I’m losing my mind. The slick is heavier now, dripping down my thighs as I fuck into my hand. "Come and take me. I'm so wet for you, Jorak. I'm shaking. I can't breathe without your scent in the room."
My vision tunnels, the Omega haze that only happens during my heat starting to take over. In any other moment, I would have hung up, pulled out one of my knotty dildos and fucked myself to sleep. But right now, my body wants Jorak. I want Jorak.
I hear him groan, a deep, primal sound that vibrates through the phone and into my very bones. I can picture him wherever he is, his muscles corded with tension, his dark eyes glowing with desire.
"Listen to me," he says, his voice turning low and commandingly soft. "If I can't be there to touch you, you're going to have to do it for me. Do you hear me, Asa? Close your eyes. Imagine my hands on you. Where are you, Asa?"
Another whine falls from my lips as precum coats my palm.
“Baby, talk to me.”
“The floor. I was taking a shower. I... ungh... I need your knot.” I drop the phone to the floor, leaning on my hands and knees as I start rocking back and forth.
It’s never been this bad. Ever. Another fresh wave of tears spills down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what’s wrong, Jorak. I need... Eni, please.”
My face warms at the shortened version of his designation, something that doesn’t match his stature and definitely shouldn’t be coming out of my mouth.
“Fuck your hand for me, baby. Let me hear you.” His purr starts up, spurring me on.
I do as he says, my eyelids fluttering shut. I move my thumb over the head of my cock, circling the sensitive skin until I let out a jagged cry. I’m coming apart, and he’s the only thing holding the pieces together through a digital signal.
"That's it," Jorak whispers. "Whine for me, Omega.
Let me hear how much you want it. Imagine I'm behind you, my chest pressed against your back.
Imagine I'm biting that spot on your neck where you smell like vanilla.
I'd fuck you right there against the floor.
I'd lift your legs and drive into you until you forgot your own name. "
"Jorak, fuck," I gasp. I’m moving my hand in a blur now, my hips jerking off the floor.
The imagery is too vivid, too real. I can almost feel the weight of him, the sheer, crushing mass of him pressing me into the grout.
I want to feel him knot me. I want to feel that thick, stretching fullness that made the rest of the world vanish.
"I'd fill you so full you wouldn't be able to walk," he continues, his voice getting rougher, and more urgent. "I'd mark every inch of your skin so everyone knows who you belong to. You're mine, Asa. My mate. Come for me. Now. Let me hear you break."
I don't have a choice. The tension snaps like a dry branch, a white-hot explosion of pleasure tearing through my lower belly.
I scream his name, my body arching off the floor as my cum splatters against the rug and tiles.
My vision goes white, my lungs seizing as the orgasm rolls over me in wave after devastating wave.
My hole clenches around nothing as more slick gathers between my thighs before I slowly sag to the floor, my head next to the phone.
For a long minute, the only sound is the heavy splash of the shower behind me and my own ragged, sobbing breaths.
I feel hollowed out, purged of the immediate, frantic need, but the relief is paper-thin.
"Asa?" Jorak's voice is soft now, almost tender. The aggression has bled out of it, leaving something raw and exposed behind. "Baby, are you there?"
"I'm here," I whisper, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. My skin feels sensitive, almost bruised. "I'm still here, Eni. Fuck. I..."
A low growl runs through the earpiece. “Say it again. Call me that again.”
“Eni? I... it just happened.”
Jorak hums for a long moment, the warmth of his voice settling my nerves. "Let’s get you out of the bathroom," he says. "Dry off. Get into bed. I'll call you when I'm off deployment. I'm coming for you, Asa. As soon as I can break free, I'm coming back to you."
That shouldn’t feel so right, anticipation welling up in my chest at the idea of him showing up at my door rather than just in my classroom.
"Okay," I say, though I’m not sure if I believe him or if I’m just saying it to keep from falling apart again. “I’m sorry. I just... really needed you. I’ll try not to let it happen—”
“Stop, Asa. Baby, just stop. Do you know anything about Esper and Guide connections?” He pauses and I just let out a muffled moan. He responds with a soft chuckle. “Once the bond starts, everything else follows afterward. The need, the desire... the drain.”
I roll over onto my back, my cock starting to thicken again. I’m too spent do anything about it though. “Which is why they usually pair the same classes together. But I’m an F-Class. How... why?”
“I’m not sure, baby. But I didn’t really figure it out until this afternoon when I used up all that power. Which means it pulled from you. Fuck. Are you okay?”
I manage a small laugh. “I was fine most of the day and then I got home and immediately needed to get fucked by my student. I’m great. I’m fucked, aren’t I?”
“Not anymore than I am, Asa. I have to go, but I’m coming okay? I don’t know when. But I’m coming.”
I manage to hang up before cleaning up and dragging myself into my nest, stuffing my face into a pillow.
Sleep claims me almost immediately, my body pulling me out of a dead sleep hours later when that need surges again.
I prop my ass up in the air, letting out a small scream as slick pours down my thighs.
This is worse than the shower.
So. Much. Worse.
I grab my phone and redial the number that called me. Voicemail. A growl of frustration leaves me as I call again. And again and again as my cock hardens until it’s almost painful. I don’t know what this is. I just know I need a knot.