5. Caleb
CHAPTER 5
Caleb
W alking into the lobby of the rink, I see Matt, Josh, Grayson, Olivia, Zoey, Hannah, and Eliza standing in a group. I join them, stopping between Grayson and Matt and tipping my chin in acknowledgement. Olivia is telling everyone about the registry she got set up after hassling from her friends and family. As I’m about to ask her to text me the link, someone calls my name. I turn around just in time to see a little blonde-haired bundle run straight for me. I drop my bag to the floor as she wraps her arms around my legs and smile down at her.
“Hey, Little Bear, what are you doing here?”
“I want to watch hockey with Liv.” She gives me a big toothy grin, and I think I melt a little inside.
“Oh yeah? I hear Liv is a lot of fun to watch hockey with. You’ve got a good buddy there.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I look up, my breath catching when my gaze meets Bailey’s. My eyes trail her body as I take her in. Dark-blue skinny jeans hug her every curve in a way that has me wanting to smack her ass to see if it jiggles in them. A green T-shirt is pulled snugly against her chest, leaving nothing to the imagination. Her blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail that has me wanting to wrap it around my hand as I fuck her from behind. I hold back a groan.
Bailey is not someone I should be lusting over, but she’s the only woman to ever cause this visceral reaction in me.
“Hey, Bailey.”
She smiles at me. “Officer Sutton.”
“Bailey, please, call me Caleb.”
She clears her throat and nods. “Charlie, why don’t we go and find some hot chocolate before the game,” she says.
“But, Mommy, I want to go with Caleb.”
I run a hand over her hair. “I can take her and show her the ice and the gear if you want to grab some hot chocolate. I’ve got time before I need to be ready.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose—” she starts, but I cut her off.
“It’s not a problem. Little Bear, you’re with me.”
Charlie jumps and cheers. As I reach down to grab my bag, I’m reminded we aren’t the only ones here as my eyes meet Grayson’s and his shit-eating grin.
I throw my bag over my shoulder and introduce Bailey and Charlotte to the guys. “Bailey and Charlotte, these are my friends, Grayson and Matt. Matt’s Liv’s brother.” I point to each as I introduce them. “Guys, this is Bailey and Charlotte.”
They give a tip of their chins and say, “Hi.”
Charlie puts her hand in mine, and I smile down at her. “You ready to go check out the ice?”
She nods her head so fast, I’m not sure how she doesn’t get sick.
I crouch and make sure her jacket is zipped and her toque is secure. “It’s cold in there. Do you have gloves if you need them? ”
She shows me her gloves, and I lead her through the sliding doors and into the cold area of the rink.
There are four rinks inside this building, each in a corner. We walk up the centre hallway towards the one we’re using today. I peek my head into the dressing room and see everyone’s dressed.
“Little girl coming through,” I call as I push the door open and lead Charlotte inside to show her where I get ready.
I place my bag on the floor and unzip it. Pulling out my skates, I show them to her. “These are my skates. I keep a cover on the blades because they’re very sharp. If you’re not careful, you can really hurt yourself.”
She watches with rapt attention as I continue.
“This part comes up high over your ankle to protect you from pucks and sticks. It also makes it so you can’t hurt your ankle as easily.” I reach into my bag and grab a roll of stick tape. “I use this to tape my stick. The tape protects the blade and allows me to hold on to the top.”
She examines the blade and the grip I’ve made.
“Do you want to help me re-tape my stick?”
She excitedly says “yes.” I position her between my legs so she can help, and she pulls the existing tape off the blade and then helps place a piece along the bottom of it. I show her how I wrap it around the blade, heel to toe, leaving no open space. After a couple of wraps, I let her take over, and she does a surprisingly good job. She does this adorable thing where she sticks her tongue out and bites it as she concentrates.
“That’s so good. Maybe I should always have you tape my stick,” I say, and she grins at me, so proud of herself.
Josh, Matt, and Grayson walk into the dressing room, and I figure it’s time to get Charlotte out of here so the guys can change.
“Okay, time to go find your mom.”
“Okay. Caleb, next time can I tape your stick pink?” she asks.
I grin. This adorable little girl has only known me for two weeks and in that time, she has made me cookies, asked me to join her for lunch, asked to spend time with me before my game, and now wants to tape my stick in the future. Not only does she want to tape it, she wants to pick a colour. I’m not sure I could say no to the request even if I wanted to.
“Yeah, Little Bear, you can tape it pink next time.”
Leaning my stick against the bench, I get up and lead Charlie towards the bleachers where I know Liv and the girls will be. I lift her onto the second level of the bleachers beside her mom.
“Remember, we’ll be wearing red,” I say before turning and heading back to the dressing rooms.
I push open the door and take a seat with my stuff.
Before I even have my shirt off, Grayson asks, “So, you’re sleeping with the mom?”
I look up and shoot him a glare. “No, I’m not sleeping with Bailey.”
“Well, she sure seems to blush a lot around you,” he says.
“You’re seeing shit.” I continue to change into my gear.
“You should go for it,” Grayson adds after some time.
“The last thing Bailey or Charlotte needs is my baggage. Even if I were interested, I wouldn’t force that on them. They have enough of their own shit to deal with.”
Grayson drops his voice low so only I can hear him. “You still having the nightmares?”
He’s the only person I’ve told. I haven’t even told my family about them or waking up drenched in sweat. When I got back from my last tour, Grayson noticed a change in me. Being a doctor, he figured it was PTSD, and he’s probably right. I told him about my nightmares and waking up each night but haven’t been able to muster the ability to go see someone for it.
I give him a slight nod as I continue to lace up my skates.
“You know if you need to talk, I’ll listen, and if you need an outside person, I’d be happy to recommend someone.”
My entire body is now rigid. I don’t like talking about this. I don’t want to talk about my nightmares, what happened during my tours, or why I chose not to re-enlist at the end of my last one. I slap my hands against my thighs before pushing to standing. “Yeah, I’m all good, man, thanks.” We both know that’s not the truth, but he doesn’t press further.
I grab my sticks and head out to the bench. Stepping onto the ice, I push away from the boards and let my feet glide me over the ice. The movements are like second nature. The more I move around the ice, the more my body relaxes.
As I round the ice near the bleachers, Charlie excitedly yells, “Go, Caleb!”
She does a little happy dance when I wave at her, and I can’t hold back my grin. I don’t think I’ve smiled this much in such a short time in years. After hitting a few pucks into the net, we gather all the pucks and I skate to centre ice for the face-off.
Josh takes his spot at centre, I’m to his right, and Matt’s behind me. The puck drops, and Josh wins the face-off, sending the puck back to Matt. He passes it to me, and as soon as I feel the puck connect with my stick, I’m skating towards the other team’s goal. I pass the puck to Josh just as I’m slammed into the boards. I keep my footing and make my way across the ice, positioning myself to receive the puck from Sam. He fakes a shot on goal and sends it to me. Pulling my stick back, I wait until the puck is almost to me. My stick comes down and sends a slapshot straight at the goal. The goalie catches the puck, forcing a stoppage and a new face-off to his right .
The other team wins the face-off. They move to send the puck across the ice, but Nick, one of our players, gets his stick on it, sending it over the boards into the other team’s bench.
A new face-off has Josh winning it, sending it my way, and I wind up for another slapshot. This one makes it in just over the goalie’s right pad.
Arms thrown in the air, I skate past our bench, bumping fists with the guys before getting off the ice and joining them. Sitting, I feel a tug on the sleeve of my jersey. I turn, and Charlie’s standing there with her fist out.
I bump my fist with hers before saying, “Little Bear, I need you to either get down so you’re lower than the top of this”—I point to the top of the boards—“or stay behind the glass. I don’t want you to get hurt, okay?”
With a sad look, she nods, and I hold my hand out for another fist bump. That earns me a smile before she bumps my fist and goes back to join her mom and the girls, who are looking at me with soft smiles.
The rest of the game moves fairly quickly, and we win in a close game, 3-2. When I get up to go to the dressing room, Charlie collides with me while calling, “You won, Caleb, you won!”
“We did,” I say, crouching down. “Do you wanna go on the ice before they take the Zamboni out?”
She nods vigorously, so I take her hand and lead her to the ice.
“You have to go slowly, or you’ll fall,” I say, holding onto her hand and slowly gliding backwards. After a couple of steps, she slips, but I catch her before she hits the ice. I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. My chest tightens as I hold her close to me. The smell of her strawberry shampoo fills my nose as her blonde hair tickles my cheek.
“You want to go for a spin?” I ask .
She nods, and I skate along the boards, slowly picking up speed. She giggles and squeals the faster I go. The smile that’s spread across her face lights up all her features, and I’m speechless. Seeing this little girl this happy and carefree because of something so simple I’ve done. If I were to go today, at least I’ve done something good in this life.
After we finish a lap, I exit at the same place we entered. I put her down, and she hugs me tightly.
“Thank you, Caleb,” she whispers, and I melt. I never thought I’d be this soft for a kid, but she’s got me and it’s only been two weeks.
“You’re welcome,” I croak.
I look up and see Bailey leaning against the wall, watching us. I can’t read her expression, but it looks like it’s something between pain and longing. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything will be alright.
“I’ve got to shower and change. You guys sticking around or heading home?” I ask Bailey.
Bailey pulls out her phone, checking the time. “We’ve got to get home. This one has to get to bed for school tomorrow. Thank you for taking her on the ice.”
“Anytime. It was nice seeing you. Have a good night.” I look down at Charlie and run my hand over her head. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
She waves at me as I move to the dressing room, walking backwards for as long as I can so I can continue to watch them. I push the door open and see half the guys have already finished their showers and the other half are lounging around drinking. Josh walks out of the shower as I take a seat.
“She’s cute,” he comments as he takes a seat a couple of spots down from me.
I smile to myself. “Yeah, she is.”
“Are you going to stick around? Seems like she’ s getting attached.” Josh’s question has me stiffening. I can’t let Charlie get attached. I’m not her dad, and her getting attached to me can only lead to disappointment.
“It’s nothing. Olivia is the one who invited them. I haven’t seen either of them since lunch on Monday.”
I feel Josh’s assessing stare. It makes me uneasy, especially since he’s not usually this analytical. He’s observant, but I don’t usually get peppered with questions.
“I don’t know man, just make sure she doesn’t get too attached if you don’t plan on sticking around. The way she’s clung to you so quickly makes me think she lacks a male figure in her life.”
That hits hard. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father, and I know Charlie’s father is not the best or most reliable person. I just nod and get undressed, calling “bye” to him as he leaves the dressing room to find his wife. I’m the last person out of the shower and I take my time getting dressed, allowing Josh’s warning to really sink in.
I have to keep my distance from Bailey and Charlie if I’m not certain I can commit to being a constant in their lives.