21. Violet
21
Violet
I tugged on the silky fabric, trying to pull the hem past mid thigh. But as soon as I let go, it slid back up again.
“Sorry, it’s so short.” I met Ivette’s gaze in the mirror. Her mouth tipped into an apologetic smile.
“It’s fine.” Eros had a dress code and since I didn’t have any nice clothes, Ivette had let me borrow something.
The sleeveless dress was a deep burgundy color that made my green eyes pop. It was intended to be form fitting, but Ivette was curvier than me. I was also several inches taller, so an outfit that looked sexy and professional on her was scandalous on me.
Or maybe I just didn’t feel comfortable wearing anything but oversized sweatshirts. I glanced at Ivette, who wore a pretty dress and high heels. The color showed off the beautiful tones of her skin. Her thick, curly hair fell around her shoulders. She was gorgeous. Even the heart-shaped birthmark below her left eye added to her beauty.
She looked strong and confident. Something I’d never feel again.
“I’ll buy some stuff for you to leave here.” She said, typing a note into her phone.
“No. I don’t h-.”
“It’ll be on the guys.” She grasped my hand, squeezing. “I promise; it’s okay.”
My stomach twisted. I hated being more in their debt, but what choice did I have? “Thanks.”
“Let’s go.” She led me out of the private bathroom and back through the club.
My gut tightened as low sensual music reached my ears. The room was dimly lit, casting most of it in shadows. Black leather booths lined the walls, except for the one to my left where the bar was. There was a stage in the middle which currently had two women and a man half dressed as they kissed. But it wasn’t a chaste display of affection.
It was raw. Carnal. The couples in the booths watched; all of them engaged in various activities. Some were just talking while others were doing some touching and kissing of their own.
There were also single people milling around; no doubt searching for a partner for the night. Everyone was dressed in cocktail attire. Suits. Dresses. Heels. Expensive watches and styled hair. Though the clothes were more revealing than you’d see at a dinner party or charity gala, but no less extravagant.
This wasn’t a trashy place. Everything about it screamed class. Exclusive. Rich.
Still, my limbs tightened as I followed Ivette through the crowd. My breaths became shallow as I felt eyes on me. But I didn’t look. Didn’t engage as if that would protect me.
I jumped when a hand brushed my wrist. My heart rate slowed again when I realized it was only Ivette.
“Don’t worry. No one will touch you.” She said as we slid into bar stools next to each other.
We gave our drink order; non alcoholic for both of us since she was working, and I wasn’t comfortable drinking in a place full of men who had sex on their minds. My eyes never left the bartender as he made it. I assumed he’d been vetted to work here, but I couldn’t risk it. I still remembered the feeling of losing control over my body and mind.
“How do you know?” I snuck glances around the room. How could she be certain nobody would harm me here?
“First, there’s a screening process. Every member is thoroughly researched before we let them in. Also, you’re not wearing a bracelet. It indicates your kinks and consent. Not having one says you’re off limits. Most people won’t even talk to you. They’ll assume you’re in a relationship.”
As she told me more about the system, I noticed the colored bracelets. My anxiety started to ease as I watched men look at my wrist, then turn away. They seemed to accept the rules without question.
“You don’t have a bracelet either. Does that mean you have someone?”
Ivette laughed. The sound was deep and rich. It was so unfamiliar. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard laughter. “I don’t shit where I eat. This is work.”
As I sipped my drink, I wondered what kept the clients in line. Certainly there would be people who tried to push the rules. People who slipped through the cracks. “If your system works so well, then how did I end up here with…Simon?”
“We give invitations to select clients so they can invite friends. It allows them a chance to experience the club before they become a member. It’s how we grow our business.” Ivette’s eyes burned with anger. Her show of emotion had my throat tightening. “Somehow he got a hold of an invitation.”
“Lucky me.” A shudder ran through my body. I hated to think where I’d be if he hadn’t brought me here. Being in a sex club was better than being locked in a closet.
“How are you doing, honey?” She reached her hand out, but I tucked mine back in my lap before she could grab it. There was no pity in her gaze, only understanding.
“I’m okay.”
“I’m around if you want to talk.” She reminded me again. She’d been a frequent visitor at the house. I still wasn’t sure of her relationship with the guys, but it was nice to have a friend. Someone who cared enough to offer support even if I couldn’t accept it.
“So, how did you end up here?” I asked, trying to take the attention off me. “How did you meet the guys?”
“Long story.” She smiled, but the edges cracked. I saw the truth in her eyes. However they’d met was painful for her. I wondered if she was an ex. Or an on again, off again girlfriend.
My guts twisted, but it wasn’t fear this time. It felt suspiciously like jealousy. It was insane. I had no claim over them. I was a victim they’d taken in. Someone they saved. Not a girlfriend.
But curiosity got the better of me. “Did you ever…”
I slid my finger through the condensation running down my glass as my voice trailed off. How could I ask her about them? Be suspicious when she’d only been nice to me.
“What?” She raised a brow. In response, I tilted my head towards a couple behind her who were engaged in an intense make-out session. “No.” Ivette burst out laughing. “Never. They’re like brothers to me.”
I couldn’t explain the relief flooding my veins. I didn’t want her to see it, so I reached for my drink. The cool liquid calmed some of the emotions burning through me. “How’s your sister?”
Her lips curved into a smile, but she let me change the subject again. She was easy to be around. I’d never had someone I could just be myself with. “Better. She’ll move into a new facility soon. Hopefully, that will help.”
I had no idea how she did it all. Ran the club. Took care of a disabled sister. I admired her. Her strength. Her kindness.
She stood, smoothing down her dress. “Well, I’ve got to get back.” Her gaze softened as she looked at me. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks.”
Men all around the room turned as she sauntered away. I’m sure they were seeing the same thing I was. Someone beautiful and smart. Strong and sexy.
My throat closed as I focused on the ice in my glass. Had I ever been like that? Or was I broken even before?
The couple next to me whispered to each other in between kisses. Smiles stretched across their faces. Their eyes gleamed with excitement. It looked so easy. To be touched. To smile.
I wondered if I’d feel desire again. Feel desirable. Or was I destined to be a victim for the rest of my life?
There was only one way to find out. Only one place I felt comfortable enough to try.