23. Reid
23
Reid
C onnor’s fist came barreling towards my face. I felt the shifting of air as I ducked, narrowly avoiding the punch. My arm hurled up, connecting with his gut. The breath whooshed from his lungs as he jerked forward. He gripped around my waist, tossing me off. My back hit the ropes, but I hopped up again.
“Nice shot.” His lip twitched as he bounced on his feet.
Ares was empty at this time of day. There were no windows to let in the late morning sun, only the fluorescent lights buzzing in the background. I hated them. They reminded me of juvie. Institutions. Neglect.
“Lucky shot.” Maverick shouted from the sidelines. He stood shirtless on the other side of the ring. He paced back and forth, waiting for his turn to expel the restless energy.
We had plenty of it after last night. Images of Violet’s face as she came burst into my mind. Her bright green eyes as she stared at me. Her pale pink lips swollen and parted. Her creamy skin flushed.
She was so goddamn beautiful I was hard just thinking about her. And her taste. Fuck. I’d spent hours drinking; hoping the alcohol would burn it away, but it still lived on my tongue. One tiny hit of her and I felt myself becoming addicted.
That couldn’t happen.
My gut tightened. My jaw clenched. My fists curled as I swung on Connor again.
“Shit.” He jumped back as I came at him hard.
This was his fault. We should’ve let her go. She shouldn’t be here. Driving me crazy. Making me obsess over her.
I had a club to run. A family to protect. Monsters to find. I didn’t need her messing with my carefully crafted life.
I landed a blow to his side. Another to his back, forcing him to a knee. But I couldn’t stop.
I hit him again. The breath sawed in and out of my lungs as I punched his shoulder. His stomach. His side. Again and again until my knuckles burned. Until it wasn’t him I was seeing. It was a different demon. One that could destroy me.
“Enough!” Maverick shouted as he gripped me around the waist, yanking me away.
My elbow came back, trying to throw him off. But he had my arms trapped under his. He was a strong motherfucker. He wasn’t undefeated by accident.
My lungs heaved for air as I watched Connor spit blood on the mat. He glared at me as he rolled until he was under the ropes and on solid concrete. Only then did Mav let me go. I stumbled as he pushed me forward. Raising my fists, I rounded him, but he was ready.
“My turn.” He smirked. I grunted as he landed a swift punch to my gut. I hit back. We shared blows for a few minutes.
We always worked out our issues on the mat. Then we left them here. We walked away with clear minds. I wasn’t sure that would happen today. My head was so fucking mixed up.
“Does this new found aggression have anything to do with our little flower?” He asked as he swept a drop of blood from his mouth.
A growl rumbled up my chest as I lunged for him. He laughed as he sidestepped, sending me into the ropes. Exhaustion was weighing down my limbs. Confusing my thoughts.
“You might feel better today if you’d gotten off.” I knew he was baiting me, but I couldn’t stop this feeling coursing through my veins. It seemed suspiciously like fear. But fear of what?
I rushed forward, grabbing his shoulders. We were locked together, jerking each other back and forth, with neither gaining the upper hand. I sent my knee up into his gut. He jammed an elbow into my kidney.
“You want her so much you can’t stand it.” He taunted. “You’re hard for her sweet little moans. Dreaming about her tight pussy. Wishing you could feel her soft skin. You want to touch her. Taste her. Fuck her.”
“I don’t.” I twisted, attempting to get him on the floor.
“You’re pretending you don’t feel it, but I can see it. She’s all you think about.” He kicked my ankle, sending my legs further apart; trying to force me off balance. “You’re being a fucking coward.”
I slammed my fist into his stomach, pulling a grunt from him. It wasn’t really him I was angry at. I was mad at myself for letting her in. For allowing her to affect me. For wanting her so goddamn much.
“You could give it a fucking chance.” He grabbed my thighs, sending me to the ground.
I choked as the air was slammed from my lungs. He took advantage of my moment of weakness. Straddling my hips and pinning me beneath him.
“Sorry if I care more about our family than getting my dick sucked.” I growled as I tried to throw him off. But he landed a punch, sending my head snapping back. It connected with the mat, making my vision blurry.
“It’s more than that.” I saw the manic determination in his eyes. I knew it wasn’t far off from my own. But I was frantic to save us. To protect our family. “She needs us.”
My guts twisted. Rage. Worry. Fear turned me inside out. I thrust up, dislodging him and tossing him to the mat above my head. I was on my feet before he could recover.
“We don’t need her.” My shout echoed off the empty warehouse walls. Mav shot a leg out, sweeping mine from under me.
I crashed to the floor again. He was up, switching our positions. Every inch of me ached. But it was the pain and pity in his eyes that cut the deepest. “I do.”
He didn’t shout, but his words were pulled from a deep, vulnerable place he never let anyone see. I opened my mouth to respond, but I didn’t know what to say.
He turned and walked away. My head dropped to the mat. Before I had time to process what had just happened, Connor was standing over me.
“This isn’t about her. It’s you. You don’t want things to change. You want to be in control. You’re afraid.”
He hopped back out of the ring, following Mav, who had a hand on the door. His gray eyes ripped through me as he turned around.
“Figure your shit out, Reid, because we’re doing this. With or without you.”
“Fuck!” I cursed, but I doubted they heard me over the slamming of the steel.
I stared up at the concrete ceiling, thinking about what they’d said. What we had was strange, but it worked. It had been working for years. We were all in or all out.
It kept us together. Kept us trusting each other. If that changed, what would happen to us? To the only family I had.
I hated myself for being vulnerable. For letting fear control me. Connor saw the truth.
I was afraid to let someone else in. I could pretend it was because she was hurt. Still recovering. But Mav had been right, she needed us. We could help her heal. We might be the only ones who could. The only ones she could trust. Even if she shouldn’t.
I just wished I could trust her not to hurt me. Rip apart the fragile soul I hid.