31. Violet
31
Violet
T he wood creaked as my legs trembled. My knuckles went numb as I held the branch above my head for support. My feet curled around the one underneath me. But I felt Maverick’s arm on my waist, stronger than all the other sensations.
“No, don’t.” I let my hand drop from the tree. My nails sunk into his forearm. “Mav, don’t do it.”
The dimple on his cheek popped out as he smiled. My heart stuttered in my chest. He disarmed me when he looked at me like that. It made me forget who I was. Where I was.
It filled me with hope and happiness.
The feelings vanished as he turned and leapt off the outstretched branch.
“Oh, my god.” The air whooshed from my lungs as he fell.
It seemed to last forever. In those short seconds, my mind raced with every terrible thing that could happen. I watched the water rushing towards him like it was concrete; sure he was going to die.
The splash was deafening. My gut tightened as I waited for him to resurface. I frantically searched the lake for his shaved head. A glimpse of muscles and tattoos. Anything.
An audible gasp left my lungs as he popped up, roaring in happiness. My hand flew to my chest to ease the ache. The movement caused the tree limb I was standing on to wiggle. I screamed, grasping with both hands the branch above. My breath became ragged again.
How had he convinced me to climb up here? Maybe it was his attractiveness that made me feel like a giddy schoolgirl. Like my past hadn’t happened. Or perhaps it was because I trusted him. A part of me knew I’d follow these men anywhere.
“Jump.”
Maybe not.
“I can’t.” My voice echoed around the lake. My own fear reverberated in my ears.
I felt my fingers slipping on the bark underneath my clammy palms. It wasn’t just fear that had my heart plummeting to my knees. It was shame. Shame that I’d let myself become this person. Someone who was always afraid. Weak.
I glanced at Maverick treading water. The droplets slid down his body over his chiseled muscles. The surface seemed to reflect in his eyes, making the gray appear darker. They penetrated my thoughts and made me feel foolish.
I wished I could be like him. Wished I had an ounce of his courage or strength.
He cupped his large, calloused hands around his face to yell back at me. “Why?”
“I’ll get hurt.”
The worst scenarios raced through my mind. I could break a bone as I hit the water. I could drown. The limb I was standing on could snap and send me tumbling to the dirt instead of the lake. I could smash my skull in.
I could die.
“You won’t.” He said it was such confidence. So sure.
Didn’t he see how bad it could get? Didn’t he know life was cruel? It kicked you while you were down. Took everything as soon as you were happy.
And I was happy with them. For the first time, maybe ever. I wanted to protect that feeling.
My fears pushed the truth from me. Forced me to tell him what this world was really like. “I’ll die.”
He smiled knowingly, and that dimple made another appearance, making my heart flutter. “But then the pain would stop.”
My lips parted in shock. I didn’t expect his words. But before I could think about them, I let go; flinging myself off the branch.
The air in my ears drowned out everything else. My body felt light. It wasn’t being pressed down with agony or rejection.
A scream tore from my lungs as the water rushed towards me. But I didn’t flinch. I accepted my fate. I took a deep breath in anticipation of living.
The lake cradled me as I hit it. There was no pain. No breaking. It was warm and comforting. It felt like coming home. Like letting out an exhale.
I was laughing when I resurfaced. Maverick was right there, wrapping me in his arms. Surrounding me with his strength and warmth. Instinctively, my legs circled his waist, keeping him close.
“You made it.” My skin tingled as he brushed the wet hair from my face. His bright expression matched mine. I felt the connection deep in my bones. “I’d never let anything happen to you, belladonna.”
Tears burned my eyes as I threw my arms around him. Emotions welled up inside me, fighting to burst free. But instead of coming in waves of suffering, they came soft and sweet. They came with a warmth, smoothing my broken pieces back together.
* * *
Maverick held my hand as we walked into the house. My limbs were heavy as we headed up the stairs. It had been a long time since I was tired from physical exhaustion instead of emotional pain. I knew when I hit the pillow, I’d be asleep in minutes. I wouldn’t be plagued with nightmares.
We stopped outside my bedroom. I tilted my head to look at him. My chest ached as I tried to think of something to say. But I didn’t know how to describe what he’d done. What he’d given me.
“Thank you.” The words sounded so flat.
His free hand skimmed my cheek until he grasped my chin. “Stop thanking us.” He was whispering, but it felt loud. Heavy with a meaning that settled next to my heart. “You help the people you care about. That’s what family does.”
He closed the distance between us, pressing his mouth to mine. The kiss was gentle and over before I was ready for it to end. “I’ll come back after I shower.”
One of them always slept with me. It helped keep the nightmares away. I wasn’t sure I needed it tonight. But I wanted it. Wanted more time together.
He left me at my door before he heading to his own room. I stepped inside. As I stripped off my swimsuit and put on pajamas, I tried to figure out why his words had affected me. It wasn’t until I was pulling the covers down on my bed that I realized it.
No one had ever helped me. Sheltered me. Not without guilt.
I was a burden to my parents. An inconvenience. A disappointment. I wasn’t wanted. I hadn’t known unconditional love.
Until now. Until them.