51. Violet
51
Violet
M y shoes had rubbed the back of my ankles raw. My thighs were chafed. Sweat coated my skin. I was regretting walking out of the club without calling a ride first. But I’d just wanted to get as far away as possible. I didn’t want to see anyone.
My heart pinched when I thought of Ivette. Maybe I’d call her someday. When it wouldn’t hurt so much. Or maybe not. She had to know, and she’d never told me.
But was it her place? Perhaps she believed I already knew.
My head spun. My body ached. I looked up and realized I’d made it to my destination. The community center. Lights illuminated the building, casting harsh shadows across the grass. It was dark and deserted at this time of night.
I stumbled to the steps and collapsed. I should be more afraid. Worried someone would attack me, but I couldn’t find the fear. I’d used up all my emotions. My nerves were fried.
Or so I thought. But as I pulled my phone from my purse, my hand trembled. The guys had given it to me. I doubted they thought I’d use it to get away.
I wasn’t sure what I was feeling as I dialed the number. Embarrassment? Anger? Guilt?
The line rang a few times before a female voice filled my ears. “Hello?”
“Mom.” The word caught in my lungs. Tears tracked down my cheeks. I was desperate and scared. I needed my mom.
Silence followed. One. Two. Three beats.
“I was wondering when you’d finally call.” Her resentment was obvious, but still my chest swelled with a ragged breath. This was familiar. This was right. It was what I deserved. “What’s your story this time?”
I scrunched my nose, trying to stop the flow of tears. “Mom, I really need—.”
“No. I’m not doing this again, Violet.” I tilted the phone away, so she didn’t hear the whimper. “You walked out. You made your choice.”
“Could I just have Craig’s number, please?”
Why hadn’t I called for it earlier? Why had I let the guys tell me they were looking for my brothers? Because I’d trusted them. I’d wanted to trust them. I didn’t want to be alone.
“No. You will not drag Craig and Aaron into whatever insane thing you’re doing now.”
“Please.” But I wasn’t sure she heard me because there was shuffling on the line and then it was my stepfather’s voice in my ear.
“You can’t keep doing this to your mother.” My chest stuttered as I tried not to scream. I would always disappoint them. My heart banged with loneliness as he droned on.
This is why I hadn’t called them earlier. I couldn’t take the shame. And I knew without me Simon had no reason to hurt my brothers. The truth was, I didn’t want to go. I’d wanted to stay with the guys. Wanted to live in the fantasy. Then I’d discovered their true nature and realized it was an illusion.
As I stared at the leaves swaying on the trees, a part of me wished the guys would come. That they would save me again. But they weren’t the people I thought they were. I was alone.
Or maybe not.
“Can I just have Craig’s number? Please.” Perhaps he could hear how defeated I was. Or he decided to actually take my side for once. I heard his deep, resigned exhale before he gave it to me. “Thank you, Daddy.”
I was the older sister, but I felt like a little kid again. Running away from my problems. I guess I’d never grown out of the habit.
* * *
The dark sky had turned gray by the time the car rolled to a stop in front of me. My body swayed from exhaustion, both emotional and physical, when I stood from the steps. I watched in my swimming vision as my brother exited from the driver’s seat.
I breathed in relief. He looked good. His brown hair was styled, and his suit wasn’t even wrinkled from the long drive. I’d spent months picturing him in hiding, starving, and struggling because of me.
“Vi!” He rushed towards me, pulling us into a tight embrace. “Fuck. I couldn’t believe it when I heard your voice. I’ve been searching everywhere for you. Mom and Dad said you came home with a wild story, then took off with some guys. Your cell has been disconnected for months. We’ve been going crazy.”
“It’s good to see you, too. I was worried.” I squeezed him tighter. My throat clogged with more tears. They’d been looking for me. They cared.
“Worried? About what?” His brows furrowed over deep brown eyes.
I swallowed down the pain and fear. “It wasn’t an insane story. Simon wouldn’t let me leave. He locked me up when I tried to break it off. He said he was going to hurt you and Aaron if I escaped.” My fingers gripped his coat tighter, like I was afraid he’d vanish as if this had all been a bad dream. “Y-you haven’t heard from him?”
“No.” He looked genuinely confused. “Jesus. I introduced you two. I had no idea he was crazy. If I’d-.”
“Can we talk about it all later? I j-just want to go… somewhere.”
“Of course.” He gave me a sad smile as he led me to the expensive sports car. As I walked away, I let my phone slip through my fingers. Leaving the past behind.
“This is nice.” I said, as I folded myself into the seat.
“Business is good.” He shrugged. “Aaron expanded into a new city.”
“That’s great.” I mumbled, but the interior was warm. The smell of leather surrounded me. The rumble of the engine was like white noise. It mixed with the soothing tones of Craig’s voice until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.
I wasn’t sure how much later it was when I felt arms lifting me from the seat. I didn’t check to see who it was. Craig’s cologne filled my senses. He’d been wearing the same one since high school.
For a moment, it brought me back to that time. Before all the trauma. Before the pain. Before, I’d fallen in love with monsters.