Chapter Teaghan
Teaghan
“Lil baby, you gotta pull it together,” Missy said for the millionth time since me and Houston split.
I couldn’t even call it a split. It’s been a week and I hadn’t heard from him at all.
Not a text, a phone call or pigeon carrier.
I hoped by now he would have calmed down and at least reached out.
I was looking for an apology or at least him admitting he overreacted.
I thought more of him and I guess that was my own damn fault.
Houston was a ticking time bomb that I threw myself in front of.
Only problem was I was the only suffering from the damage.
Life was in shambles by my definition. I didn’t have a job, no boyfriend and I felt like death.
After all the push and pull I missed him.
This was the first time in a long time that I chose to stay in the moment and feel sorrow.
“I’m sick of pulling it together. I guess I should just move on and act like we didn’t have something. I normally see shit like this from a mile away and I can prep and prepare. But not this.”
“You are a good woman and you and I both know this was an accident and he went too far. That’s not your fault. I’m not saying you can’t be sad or upset but I am saying you need to let it be and stop sitting in the dark going over and over about it.”
“The dark is where I belong, Missy. No one gives a fuck about me,” I sighed with tears in my eyes.
My hair was a mess, my eyes puffy from crying.
Rivers were being cried right now. It wasn’t just about Houston it was for all those before also.
All the shit I compartmentalized had come to the surface.
“Get your ass up and go shower. I’ll make some shrimp and grits.
And then we can have one last cry before you get your shit together.
It’s happening today whether you like it or not.
Up!” she said, pulling the throw blanket from my body and opening the blinds.
It was a beautiful day out and this was my season, but the rebirth was going on without me.
Shuffling to the back I removed my funky clothing and looked around.
Maya Angelou’s painting hung from the wall and her eyes seemed to be scolding me and judging me.
My ancestors would be disappointed. It wasn’t the end of the world or my story.
I had to remove this obsession with fantasy.
Everything wouldn’t always work out in my favor.
I assumed I should just be happy that I even had a chance to know what an unselfish love finally felt like.
Having it once meant I could have it again right?
Turning on my heartbreak playlist I gathered myself and headed to the shower.
As Monica’s ”Before you walk out my life” played I felt sick to my stomach.
Me and Houston didn’t get a moment to have a heart to heart.
I didn’t get to explain that his love for Malone strengthened my love for him.
I didn’t get to tell him that I secretly took my own vow to be a part of Malone's life whether he asked or approved or not.
We didn’t get to discover all that was inside of us and this shit was unfair.
Her speaking about not wanting to cause pain and making things right before he walked out forced my last few sets of tears to mix with the water.
My heartbreak playlist wasn’t going to cut it.
It was making me feel like crawling into the fetal position and not coming out until my knight showed up on a horse with his hand out to save me.
Switching to Ciara’s “Level up”, I started to feel better.
The beat coursed through my body as I washed the past from my guilt- stricken body.
This is what I needed, a pick me up. I danced and washed until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
Missy would be coming for me soon, so I needed to get it together.
“Thank you for pulling me from the dark side,” I joked as I made my way back into the living room.
She was in the kitchen cooking my favorite dish.
Missy always knew how to make the best comfort foods.
It had to be a southern thing and I couldn’t wait to put something other than wine and pizza on my stomach.
“We sisters and I know you don’t always get what you deserve but one day all of this will make sense. You gotta trust the process, my love. A broken heart has to mend on its own, but this shit here was ridiculous.”
“This process has been the worse, but I know you are right. It’s clear these men can’t stand the rain girl,” I admitted.
My phone started ringing, and I couldn’t lie and say I hadn’t been ignoring everyone.
Especially my parents and Bobby. He had been calling nonstop since that night.
I just wasn’t up to explaining and pretending I had anything worth saying.
All I wanted to do was think about missing Houston.
“Answer the phone,” she scolded.
Gathering my scattered thoughts and clearing my throat, I answered, “Hello.”
“Finally, is everything ok? You just went missing on me. I was worried, and your parents didn’t know what happened,” he rambled out, not giving me a chance to answer or respond. I chuckled because it was cute he was concerned but I didn’t need him to be.
“I’m fine. I had a situation, but everything is fine now. Is that all you wanted?”
“Well, my main reason for calling was to make sure you were ok. But I also wanted to know if we could do a friendly lunch?”
“I do owe you don’t I?” Damn, I hated this. The humiliation of being auctioned off still stung, but it wasn’t Bobby’s fault, and he had paid his money, so I knew I had to do this even if I didn’t want to be bothered or look at another man for the rest of my days.
“Yea but I would feel a lot better if it was something you wanted to do. I haven’t been able to focus much since we met. I imagine the only way to remedy that is to see you. Say you’ll have lunch with me?”
Today was the first day of the rest of my life.
How long was I supposed to wait for Houston to come around?
But after knowing how stubborn he could be I doubted he would.
I’m sure this was really over. By the time he came around Malone would be a teenager or even in college.
Those same things I loved were the same things I hated currently.
However, I wouldn’t let what happened between us to slow me down or keep me from living my life.
“I’d love to,” I replied.
“Hell yea, what’s your address? Do you need more than an hour?” he ran off. He was one talking politician, and I thought it was funny. It only showed his age and experience. But I appreciated his excitement. And I damn sure wasn’t expecting it to go down today.
“You want to go today?” I asked.
“Teaghan Marie, I’ve waited long enough. We go today if you are ok with that?”
“I’ll text you my address,” I replied. It was hard to say no or blow him off.
I was officially single and not to mention he was pursuing me.
It felt good not doing the pursuing. However, right now all I was offering was a friendship.
I had nothing to offer more than that. My heart was tied up and locked away.
“I look forward to it.”
Ending the call I turned to look at Missy and we both screamed. She remembered how damn fine the man was. I hopped up and ran to get myself together. A man like him wouldn’t dare be late and I was already looking forward to someone of the male species being on time.
“So I guess you don’t need my lil funky grits,” she asked with a smirk.
We both bursted out laughing as she came further in the room to help me get myself situated.
I was going simple, it was just lunch. Black jeans, with a white and black striped shirt, a black leather jacket and black pumps.
I decided on a red lip and black fedora hat on top of my slick ponytail.
My head needed some TLC, but I didn’t have the time or patience to try and tango with it right now.
“Save my damn shrimp and grits. I do need dinner.”
“Don’t be so sure slut,” she joked. Back in the front, she gathered her things and made me promise to call her when I made it in.
I kissed her cheeks and thanked her for always being there for me when she didn’t have to.
Missy had a whole man and didn’t have to come to my rescue as much as she did, but she knew it would be returned.
But I loved that she did it whether it would be or not.
I took some time to clean the mess I had let mount up in my apartment.
I opened the windows and let some fresh air in as I waited for Bobby.
I prayed I hadn’t read him wrong. I couldn’t afford to be pissed off.
I was also worried that he had been around my father to long. Lord, please don’t let this be a waste.