Chapter 11 Holly
HOLLY
An exhilarated scream bursts from me as my sled careens down the slope behind the cabin. It echoes off the treetops. I feel so free. More than I have in forever.
Caleb’s sled isn’t far behind me. He yelps with a curse as we reach the bottom, crashing out while I slide to victory over the finish line we marked with two sticks for our sled racing.
Laughter bubbles out of me as I coast to a stop in a thick snowdrift near the frozen pond at the bottom of the hill. I tumble off the sled and pump my arms and legs in the air.
“I win again!”
Caleb drags his sled to my side and leans over me. “Rematch.”
“We can go again and again, I’ll still win,” I taunt while making a snow angel. “Face it, you don’t have what it takes, big guy. All that muscle slows you down. I’m the reigning champion of this hill.”
He tongues his cheek and nods wryly. “It’s sledding. There’s not much to it.”
“Says the sore loser who choked at the end of the race,” I goad with a snicker.
“You and that competitive streak,” he says affectionately.
I take the hand he gives me to stand up, holding on to my hat. He adjusts it for me so it covers my ears again, then dusts the snow off my coat.
“Having a good time?”
“Surprisingly, yes. I forgot how much fun this is.”
“Are you warm enough?”
His hands rest on my upper arms and he caresses them absently with his thumbs. I catch myself enjoying his attentive concern for me.
“Yeah. The coat you gave me is toasty.”
My bust size and curvier hips are more generous than Layla’s old ski clothes from high school. Since I couldn’t fit into them anymore, I’m bundled in his instead.
“Good.” He scoops up some snow and forms it into a ball in his gloved hands. “Because now it’s payback time for kicking my ass, you little speed queen.”
“Wait—wait!” Shrieking with another bout of laughter, I jump out of the way of the snowball he throws. “Oh, it’s on!”
I hastily retaliate, ducking from his onslaught. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. He chases me all over the clearing surrounding the pond, both of us cracking up.
Running through the deep snow is hard, but I dive behind a tree before he fires off the next one. Making as many snowballs as I can, I start flinging them at him. Two hit him in succession, one in the chest and one in the knee.
“Yes!”
I have just enough time for a victory dance before he rushes me. He captures me in his strong embrace.
“Gotcha.”
“Oh no you don’t.” I wriggle, attempting to trip him.
His arms tighten and he swings me off my feet. Through the layers of our clothes, the deep reverberation of his lighthearted laughter fills me with happiness.
This is the most carefree I’ve been in a long time. No worries or responsibilities can touch me.
Our play wrestling ends up making both of us fall when we overbalance. He catches me and breaks my fall, holding me as I land on his chest.
“You okay?” He rubs my back.
“Yeah.”
I stare at him, my gaze flickering between his eyes.
His green irises are mesmerizing, full of tender reverence.
A tingle runs down my spine as I go still, laughter fading.
The playful mood shifts and warmth spreads through me.
My heartbeat skips, my breathing quickening as butterflies dance around inside me.
Something intangible and electric sparks between us. A shiver races across my skin that has nothing to do with the cold outdoors.
He holds me tighter when my attention falls to his mouth. I lick my lips and he stifles a strained noise at the back of his throat. His body is firm beneath me, yet the solid muscle mass brings me so much comfort. I feel safest when he holds me.
Without realizing it, I’ve leaned closer, drawn in by an invisible magnetism.
My nose brushes his. He exhales shakily, clutching the oversized coat I borrowed from him.
Is that his heart drumming loudly, or mine?
I want to whisper his name, but I’m afraid to speak. Every part of me is strung taut, quivering with an unspoken desire to give in and kiss him.
At the last second, I grow flustered and shove snow down his neck instead to break the tension. I scramble off him while he’s writhing with a shocked bark from the cold.
In my hurry to get away, I stumble in the snow. Crumpling in a heap, my face scrunches as pain twinges in my ankle.
“Crap—ow!”
“Are you okay?” Caleb’s voice is laced with concern.
He comes to my aid, tugging off a glove with his teeth and smoothing his palm over my leg. I wince when he helps me roll it gently.
He watches me with a worried frown. “Sorry. I just want to make sure you didn’t break it.”
“I think I twisted it. Not that bad.”
I try to get up and he stops me. “Take it easy. Let me check you over before you stand on it.”
“Okay.”
I only agree because being cared for by someone else gratifies a deep, hidden part of me that I’ve wrapped under armor I’ve spent a lifetime fortifying.
His handsome features set in concentration as he gingerly prods and massages my ankle. The fleeting pain fades with his attentive treatment. I sigh in relief, indulging in his dedication and, secretly, his touch.
“It feels a lot better now,” I say.
“I think you’re good. Just strained the muscle. Let’s head back so you can rest it.”
He helps me to my feet, supporting me even as I insist I’m fine. We leave the sleds behind for now, going slow. I stretch my leg and test how it feels. It aches slightly, but feels like it’ll be better within a few hours.
At the base of the hill leading up to the cabin, I pause, not looking forward to the climb with a sore ankle. Caleb steps in front of me.
“Hop up.”
He hunches low to make up for our height difference. I stare at his back, not making a move to take the offer.
“You’re serious?”
He chuckles and shoots a grin at me.
“Yeah. Are you hopping up on my back or am I tossing you over my shoulder instead?”
Damn it. I’m a simple girl. All I want is to be tossed around and kept well-fed.
Caleb’s checking boxes he’s not supposed to.
I slide my arms around his shoulders. He grips my legs and lifts me so effortlessly, I cling to him in surprise. He starts up the slope without complaint.
Unable to resist, I snuggle against him, resting my chin on his shoulder.
“You’re going to carry me the whole way back?” I ask.
“Of course I will.” He squeezes my legs. “I’ve got you. Always will.”
I bite my lip, heart beating harder.
“It’s uphill. I’m not exactly light. It’s too much—”
“You’re not too much, Holly. Nothing about you is. Anyone who makes you think that will have to answer to me.”
The fierce conviction in Caleb’s tone pierces the hardest parts of my defensive walls, sending a wave of something warm and soft spreading throughout my chest.
He holds on tighter, unwilling to let me down. “You know, I’m not a guy that trains hard at the gym just to play hockey in peak condition. I do it so I can carry my girl whenever I want, because this is exactly what I was made for. Carrying you whenever you need me to.”
I’m not your girl anymore. I want to say it out of habit, but I hold the thought in as my emotions threaten to bubble over from my watering eyes.
His grip flexes and his voice becomes gruff, edged with something that sounds jealous. “Anyone you’ve dated since is a fucking joke if they don’t want to be the one holding you up. That’ll never be me. I just want to take care of you.”
He doesn’t seriously mean what he’s saying…does he? I’m struck with the force of how badly I want to believe him because being stuck alone in the cabin with him has brought everything rushing back from the place I buried it deep inside me.
My heart climbs into my throat, making it hard to swallow past the lump forming. “Does that mean I have to answer to you?”
He makes a questioning noise. I blow out a breath, tucking my face into his shoulder to muffle myself.
“What if I’m the one who thinks I’m too much?”
Caleb stops and kneads my thighs reassuringly. His voice softens with a caring gentleness that’s a balm to the ache of self doubt in my chest.
“Holly, you’re amazing. Not only do you run your own bakery you started all on your own, your talent and passion for what you do are unmatched. You’re sweet, kind, and generous. You’re always worrying about everyone else first before yourself.”
He speaks with such fervent confidence in his words, I’m left speechless. But he’s not done yet, continuing in a hoarse, almost desperate plea.
“Everyone you meet sees that about you. I see you. Believe me, not any voice in your head.”
My eyes widen and my mouth falls open. “Caleb, I…”
“I’m serious. Don’t put yourself down,” he says quietly.
“I don’t, not really. Sometimes it just crosses my mind.”
He cranes his neck to see me. “Then I’ll just need to stick around to always chase away your doubts when that happens.”
An arrow of profound longing pierces through me. It’s everything I wish he would’ve promised me before I ended things between us. What I hoped he would’ve fought for when I started ignoring his messages and calls, leaving me to believe I was right about our summer fling.
I slide my lips together to keep myself from crying, touched and clinging to the raw emotions he’s stirred up in me. I feel a little silly to get so choked up over him being nice to me, yet he’s met a need I wasn’t aware I direly craved.
“You okay? You went quiet on me,” he murmurs.
“Yeah.” I sniffle, hoping he thinks my nose is running from the icy temperature.
“The Caleb express is leaving the station. Everyone keep your arms and legs safely tucked against the vehicle at all times. Groping is encouraged,” he jokes.
I hide a husky laugh in his neck. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, sugar. Anything for you.”
Unlike the whirlwind summer we spent sneaking around years ago…I do believe him this time.
He’s different now. Still a charismatic flirt with a laid-back personality, yet he’s grown into himself. He’s more mature and someone I could easily fall for again.
The real reason I’m afraid of these reawakening feelings for Caleb is because I don’t want to be hurt like I was in the past.
I was more invested in us than he was, so when I overheard his coach warning him about focusing on his athletics I pushed away first so I could protect my heart. It still broke anyway when he didn’t chase after me.
If I fall for him a second time, I could be left behind again when he returns to his life as a hockey star.
Yet I can’t help it. It’s too late. He’s already slipping past my defenses and finding his way back into my heart.
There’s no way to get him out of it. And for the first time since we’ve been stuck together…I don’t think I want to.