Chapter 13 Holly
HOLLY
Later that night, I’m brewing mulled wine that smells divine. The spiced, tangy aroma fills the first floor of the cabin. Caleb found a festive record in his parents’ collection and jazzy holiday tunes play from the record player while the fire he fed crackles with heat.
I hum along to the song and stir the simmering pot.
“That smells so fucking good.” Caleb leans over me from behind.
He’s a comforting, solid presence at my back. The urge to lean against him tempts me. He makes a gravelly noise of appreciation that ignites a burst of excitement in my core.
We skated on the pond for a while after he told me he plans to stay in New England. Neither of us said anything about holding hands the entire time.
Something has shifted between us. Something I’ve been resisting against every time he’s been patiently testing my resolve.
The walls I’d erected to protect myself from being vulnerable in front of him have crumbled to dust. I’m teetering on the edge, ready to jump but afraid to fall.
Because I know once I do, I’ll have to admit I’m irrevocably, helplessly in love with Caleb. And I have been for years. Breaking up didn’t stop it, only buried it.
He plays with my hair, twirling a lock around his finger. “Is it almost ready?”
“Yes. I wish I could use the hot tub. The fireplace is nice to drink by, but a mulled wine under the string lights on the porch and a view of the stars? It’s the perfect cozy atmosphere to enjoy this in.
” I sigh dreamily. “I was looking forward to it as part of my vacation plan when I packed the ingredients.”
I brought the cutest bikini, too. I’m bummed I won’t get the chance to wear it.
“You’ve got it,” he says.
“Huh?” I turn away from the stove as he opens the door.
“I’ll shovel it out for you. It won’t take long.”
My heart flutters and I think back to what he said when he carried me up the hill after I hurt my ankle. Anything for you.
A smile tugs at my lips. I peek out the window to watch him dig out the hot tub on the porch. He turns on the string lighting to cast the steaming hot tub in a golden swath of light and makes quick work of it.
I change into my bikini and slip on an oversized hoodie—the one I’ve stolen from him. When I pad downstairs, he’s waiting for me.
Caleb’s gaze roves over me, lingering on my thick thighs with a darkening gaze. He pushes out a rough exhale and runs a hand through his tousled hair.
“Hot tub’s all ready for you,” he says.
“Thank you.”
I ladle the mulled wine into two glasses, garnishing them with dried orange slices and cinnamon sticks. He accepts the one I hand him and trails after me.
Outside, he watches me intently as if he’s reluctant to let me out of his sight. I pause after setting my drink on the edge of the hot tub. Meeting his burning gaze, I peel his hoodie off, showing off the red plaid bikini with frills that flaunts my curves.
Before I have to ask, his hand is there. I take it gratefully and climb in, entering the water with a shivering sigh. The fizzing bubbles burst against my skin and the temperature difference makes the rest of me break out in goosebumps.
Caleb’s throat bobs with a swallow. He angles his glass back and forth, tearing his enraptured attention from me to stare into the drink before taking a long sip.
“If you need anything, call for me. I’ll leave you to enjoy yourself,” he rasps.
The night air combined with the heady mulling spices bolster my impulses. My hand darts out, grasping his wrist to stop him.
“What’s wrong?” The glow of the lights draped around the porch catch his eyes, making the green more vivid and alluring.
“Stay with me,” I murmur.
The request encompasses everything I want right now. Him joining me in the steamy water to enjoy the mulled wine I made together. Him staying in New England. Him staying with me and never letting go again.
Caleb inclines his head with a hooded gaze. “I didn’t bring swim shorts.”
“Since when has that been something that stopped you?”
I sink into the water and lift my brows in challenge, sipping my drink. The corner of his mouth lifts in a lopsided, dimpled smirk that steals my breath.
He reaches behind his head and tugs off his sweater. I only have a moment to enjoy the view of the fitted t-shirt he’s wearing underneath before he loses that too, revealing his delectable bare chest. Finally, he kicks off his jeans and tosses them in the clothes pile with the hoodie.
It’s my turn for my eyes to roam everywhere that I didn’t indulge in the first morning here. God, he’s so hot. His chiseled pecs and those irresistible broad shoulders. Muscled arms that engulf me in the best embrace. Sculpted abs I want to lick.
He joins me in the water with a rumble of satisfaction when he lowers himself beside me.
“Nice, right?” I settle against the jets and admire the twinkling stars overhead beyond the pine trees.
“Yeah.”
He’s not looking at the starry sky. His gaze is locked on me.
Our legs brush together. Exhilaration simmers in my stomach. He’s so close my side tingles with awareness.
The humid condensation rising off the water amplifies the hushed yet enticing sense that we’re teetering on the precipice of something.
For a while, we’re both quiet as we drink our mulled wine. It’s nice. I don’t feel like I have to talk to fill the space. With him, I can just be.
“Remember that time we came here, just the two of us?” He tilts his head back and peers at me from the corner of his eye. “That was the best summer of my life.”
I bite my lip and nod. “Mine too.”
A beat of silence passes. He’s the one to break it.
“If that’s true, why didn’t we work out?” He sets his drink aside and shifts closer to me, brows pinching. “We were good together. Weren’t we?”
“We were,” I agree, distracting myself by tracing the water droplets on his chest.
We drift closer. His arm circles my waist and his fingertips skim up my spine as his stare pins me in place.
“So…?” he prompts gruffly.
“So what?” I murmur ruefully. “We were young, and it was exciting sneaking around with you because you were my best friend’s brother.”
He shakes his head. “It was more than that.”
“I—”
He grasps my chin to make me look at him. His eyes glimmer with a rawness that makes my breath catch. Desire swoops in my stomach. His arm is locked around my waist, not allowing me to escape his searching stare full of longing.
“Tell me the truth. You walked away from us. I’ve been wondering about it all this time, Holly.”
My teeth scrape my lip. He pulls it free and soothes it with his thumb.
“I overheard you on the phone with your coach,” I explain.
“He was giving you a talk about where your focus needed to be if you wanted to go pro, and you downplayed that we were dating, saying you weren’t seeing anyone.
All while I was naked in your bed. It broke my heart, so I took it as my sign to get out before I was in too deep with you. ”
My chest tightens because it was too late, my heart already belonged to him.
“Fuck,” he mutters. “My coach had that talk with everyone to weed out the players who aren’t serious. It was—you were never supposed to hear that. Is that why you didn’t answer any of my messages when I went back to campus?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t mean what I said to him. I was serious about both—you and hockey.”
I draw a shaking breath, trying to line up what he’s saying with how I remember it.
“You didn’t chase after me. Not for long, anyway. So I figured I was right that what we had was only a summer fling.”
He grabs my shoulders. “I thought you hated me because every time I tried to text or call you, you ignored it.”
My gaze falls. “I told myself I did. I was afraid if I answered I would break down from missing you because I…I felt too much for you. But I had my own goals to work on, and you had yours.”
A laugh of disbelief puffs out of him. “Do you know how long I’ve been in—?” He hangs his head. “I’ve kept my old text conversation with you pinned to the top of my messages.”
My stomach bottoms out. “You have?”
“Yeah. I read through it all the time. Sometimes I tell you about my day before deleting it.” He swipes a hand over his jaw.
“But the things I’ve really wanted to tell you…
those I keep in a note on my phone. It’s full of years’ worth of messages I’ve never sent you but desperately wished I could’ve. ”
I swallow hard, my heart fluttering uncontrollably. He’s really been yearning for me the entire time we’ve been apart?
“I’m such an idiot for ever letting you go,” he says. “I’ve regretted it every damn day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Every chance I could, I kept up with what you were up to online. I’d hang on everything Layla said about you. There were so many times I talked myself in and out of showing up at your doorstep, even if you slammed the door in my face because you didn’t want to see me again.”
I’m shocked. He’s a star hockey player who could have any woman he wanted. Yet he’s been hung up on me.
As much as I’ve been stuck on him.
My lips slide together and I offer a confession of my own. “No one’s ever measured up to you. I’ve secretly compared everyone I went on dates with to the guy I couldn’t erase from my mind no matter how hard I tried to forget about you. There’s hardly a day that passes where I don’t think of you.”
A hoarse noise escapes him. The air around us thickens with an all-consuming tension.
His arms tighten around me, one palm gliding down to knead my waist while the other slowly winds the tie of my bikini around his finger. My palms glide up his chest to rest on his shoulders. I wet my lips. His gaze tracks the darting of my tongue.
“What do the unsent messages on your phone say?” I whisper.
“I’ll let you read them all later,” he promises.
The steam coming off the water swirls around us, creating the hypnotic sense of time slowing. It feels like we’re the only two people in the world.
Our drinks sit forgotten at the edge of the hot tub. The scant inches between us disappear with each hazy breath.
Caleb stares into my eyes and tugs on my bikini ties. A gasp escapes me as the material loosens enough to partially expose my breasts.
Desire pulses through me. I don’t want to deny it any longer.
“Fuck it,” I breathe.
The water sloshes as I crash into him, sealing my lips against his in a kiss that quickly grows wild and desperate. He groans, parting his lips to meet my tongue while pulling the other tie on my suit.
My bikini top falls off, leaving me in only my bottoms. I loop my arms around his neck, moaning at the sensation of my nipples dragging against his wet chest while we make out.
He makes a ragged sound against my mouth, pulling me further onto his lap. His erection teases between my thighs. I rock against it, kissing him harder.
His palm squeezes my ass and I tear my mouth from his to hang my head back. It’s so good, I could come just from this.
“Caleb,” I gasp out.
“Say my name again.” He sounds absolutely wrecked.
As his lips find a sensitive spot, I moan his name again. He growls in approval, holding me tighter.
Molten heat spills through me, thrumming in the pit of my stomach. I want more.
He’s right there with me, lifting me by his firm grip on my ass. I squeal, wrapping my legs around him as water runs off our bodies.
His teeth graze my throat teasingly before he brings his lips to my ears.
“I want you in my bed, sugar.”