Say We’ll Begin Again (Flowers From Ashes #3)

Chapter 1

She hates airports.

Too many people. Too much noise. Nora considers herself decently social, but all this closeness is pushing it even for her. What’s worse is that after she’s done squishing into these tiny plastic chairs, she’ll have to squish into a tiny plane chair next to a total stranger.

She only hopes that her seat partner has an easier time flying than she does, and that he or she smells decent and enjoys a healthy amount of comfortable silence.

The in-flight movie is calling her name, and she plans to watch it in peace while clutching her armrest in a death grip until they reach the Middle Of Nowhere, Alaska.

Spilling her entire life story to a random person isn’t on the agenda. Which she might be tempted to do, considering she’s an oversharer. That’s what Jack always used to say when he scolded her for bothering people.

Finn might have said differently after all this time, though. She hardly shared anything with him. Maybe she’s not that person anymore and life has succeeded in beating the desire to connect right out of her.

She isn’t quite sure who she is now, but if she’s lucky, this trip might sort that out.

It’s a little late to be going on a mission to find herself at thirty-two years old, but what better place than just outside the Arctic Circle with nothing but polar bears and her own thoughts to keep her company.

Or, she’ll panic in the air until they land, watch her best friend get married, and then come home to an empty apartment and wallow over pizza, as per usual.

One of those outcomes is bound to happen. It could go either way.

Nora scans her ticket for the fourth time out of boredom, checking her gate number as if it’ll magically change.

She should have brought a book.

Should have gotten Starbucks from the cafe close enough that she can smell the beans.

Should have sat anywhere except where she is right now, sandwiched between two families with kids all bouncing and laughing.

How dare they laugh? Don’t they know what that does to her?

Don’t they know that every time she hears it, she thinks of another life, when the weight of the world wasn’t suffocating her?

The sound of children’s laughter gives her anxiety and she makes a mental note to discuss that with her therapist when she goes home. She’ll be given a dozen exercises and suggestions, all of which Nora will promptly ignore, but bringing it up feels like the bare minimum effort.

For now, she gets up and leaves the kids behind. Standing is better anyway. It gives her less time to think about the impending doom on the plane if she’s pacing the waiting area.

“Fuck.”

Her head snaps up at the mumbled curse coming from a man who narrowly missed spilling his coffee on an unsuspecting bystander.

That doesn’t stop him from colliding into Nora the moment he turns around. It all happens so fast, she hardly has time to react before the coffee explodes between them in a lukewarm mess.

They both freeze in shock before a litany of apologies starts fumbling out of his mouth as he tries to brush the coffee off her shirt.

He isn’t attempting to accost her, but his hands are on her body anyway, and that’s not usually how she prefers to greet someone.

He’s so flustered, he’s not thinking. She can tell because his mouth is still running and the tips of his ears are bright red.

Technically, there’s not much damage done.

She’ll have to wear his….peppermint mocha, the whole fucking flight, but on a scale from zero to disaster, this barely ranks, so she steps backward, offering him a glare that has his roaming hands retreating into his own space again as he finally realizes what he’s doing and nearly flies away from her across the whole airport.

He connects with the ticket counter and goes even redder than before.

“I didn’t mean to…wasn’t trying to…shit.

I’m sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?

Dammit, that guy almost ran into me, then I ran into you.

Lemme help you clean up? Do you know where the bathroom is?

I can grab you some paper towels? Can I get you another coffee? ”

“That was your coffee, not mine.” She raises a brow at his nervous offer.

“Right. Right, of course.”

“I’m gonna go somewhere else, before I get arrested. I really am sorry.”

She sighs, taking pity on him because his apologies seem sincere and he has kind eyes.

It doesn’t hurt that he’s not difficult to look at.

Nora may have passed the point of wanting anything to do with another man, but her eyeballs still work fine, even if her heart doesn’t, and this one is easy on them.

If he had a weird vibe, she would have called for airport security by now. All in all, he seems harmless.

“I’m okay. It’s fine. Are you alright? You hit that counter pretty hard just now.”

He shrugs, shouldering his carry-on. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“Well, it’ll be another ten business days until we board. You have plenty of time to grab another cup.”

“Can I buy you one, too? It’s the least I can do since you’re wearing my first one.”

There’s as much flirt wrapped in that suggestion as there is hesitation.

His lips manufacture a heart-stopping smile right before he stops looking directly at her, preferring to glance at that gaggle of kids as a distraction.

He shifts on the balls of his feet with nervous energy, awaiting her decision.

It’s a bit of a contradiction considering the rest of him appears professional in a way that scratches her brain just right.

He is put together despite behaving like a mess.

She can smell the new leather from his bag wafting up her nostrils in a pleasant scent, his shoes shine brighter than the spark in anyone’s eyes in this horrid place, and the watch on his wrist probably costs more than her car.

She isn’t often in the habit of cataloging men this way, but he makes it difficult to ignore, considering he’s trying hard to hide these details with a rumpled t-shirt and enough bed head to mimic a squirrel’s nest.

The shyness wrapped in what feels like genetically encoded charisma throws her just as much. It all makes it hard to tell if he actually wants to buy her coffee or if he only feels guilty.

Tea sounds good, but she decides to pass and be polite. “No, thank you.”

“Y’all are gonna need to leave the scene of the crime so we can clean this up.” An airport attendant appears with a mop and bucket.

“Actually, maybe I’ll take you up on that after all,” Nora relents, and it might be the harsh lighting or wishful thinking, but she could swear he seems to perk up at her acceptance.

What harm can it do to let a handsome man buy her an overpriced drink?

It’ll be a distraction from the stain on her clothes, from the fact that she’ll be on a plane soon, from her life.

And one thing’s for sure…he is handsome.

That much is blindingly clear when he flashes her another wide, white toothed smile before escorting her to the coffee counter.

That kind of instant attraction is a foreign thing to her, and she’s not sure how to handle something she always assumed happened to other people.

The most logical answer is that she does not handle it at all.

Nope. Absolutely not. She will accept his coffee as an apology, and they will go their separate ways.

Not that he’d have any desire to take it further anyway.

Fuck. She should have packed her vibrator for the hotel. Of all the things to forget.

He gets a coffee with extra cream and sugar for himself, and a chai tea latte with whipped cream for her.

“No mocha this time?” she teases.

“No, I think I need less sugar, not more,” he replies, handing her the tea as they head back into the land of plastic chairs.

“So, vacation?” she asks

“Not really. My brother’s getting married out of the blue. Eloping in Alaska. I figured I should be there.”

Well now. This is unexpected, she thinks, as the pieces click into place. “Oliver and Gwen?”

“You know them?”

She huffs out a half-laugh. “Gwen’s my best friend. We’re going to the same wedding. I guess it’s not a long shot. Plane travel out there is limited, and the wedding is this weekend.”

“Yeah, guess so.” He pauses, sipping his coffee with an amused smirk. “Never thought he’d get hitched. She must be something.”

“I never thought she would either! Too independent. She used to tell me marriage wasn’t for her. Then one day, I get a call saying she met someone and two weeks later…here I am.”

“About that. Is it just me, or is this kinda fast?”

“It’s not just you.” Nora shrugs. “Doing it the traditional way doesn’t always work either, though. Maybe they have a better chance by going against the norm and not waiting. I hope so.”

“Me too. I’ve never heard him so happy, and lemme tell you, Oliver’s never happy. Sounds like he’s walking on fucking sunshine every time I talk to him. It’s sickening.”

She grins at his deadpan jab. “You’re not a romantic, huh?”

“Who me? Far from it. I’m happy for them, though. Hey, have you gotten in touch with them in the last few days? He’s not answering calls. I’m assuming the signal up there is rough.”

“Actually, I haven’t spoken to her since last week. She told me communication can be unreliable. The wildlife research center sucks up all our signal is her favorite rant. Plus, there are all these random outages going on lately. Have you seen that?”

“Yeah, I did. Something about a virus. It can’t be that bad, though, if they haven’t shut down the flights. Probably the flu again.”

“Probably. I brought extra hand sanitizer just in case. If you need some, you’re welcome to it.”

He whips out a small bottle from the zippered pocket of his carry-on. “I come prepared.”

“Impressive,” she smiles.

“Anyway, that’s probably it. Bad signal, outage, whatever. Can’t imagine what could go wrong. There’s nothing up there to begin with.”