Twenty-Eight
Friends grow old
Friends find each other
Friends never forget
Friends become lovers
‘Friends’ from Roses
Ty meets me at Liverpool train station the next day. I’m feeling deflated. The rest of the night Keeley and Ollie laughed together like old friends, while I watched on.
‘What’s the matter?’ Ty asks, as we walk to the car park.
‘Nothing.’ I shrug.
‘What, the great Ollie Pointer’s birthday party wasn’t a hit?’
‘It was good, it was nice to see him.’
‘Then why are you acting like you went to a funeral?’
We get into the car and I put on my seatbelt with a small huff. ‘I’m not,’ I say. ‘I had a good time. We spent some time together, I met his new friends, that was it.’
Ty starts driving us out of the city centre. ‘Well, when you want to talk about it, I am here,’ he says.
I look out of the window. ‘It’s just . . . Ollie’s friends are not what I thought they’d be like.’
‘And how were they?’
‘I don’t know, a bit much. Pretentious, some of them.’ I think of Diane. ‘Not all of them. But some of them.’ I pause. ‘Plus, I thought it was going to be the two of us this weekend. Not me, him and a bunch of strangers I don’t know. He sees them every day at school!’
‘And he didn’t tell you?’ says Ty.
I look across at him; his face is giving nothing away.
I feel uncomfortable now. I don’t want Ty to think badly of Ollie. Especially after the concert-ticket thing. And Ollie didn’t do anything wrong – it’s not his fault I’m not a big fan of his friends.
‘Well, it was his birthday. Maybe I misunderstood,’ I say. ‘It would make sense he would want all his friends to be there.’
‘Did you have a good time with him at least?’ says Ty. My Rose Conrad playlist is on again, and he is nodding along to the song and drumming his fingers on the wheel.
‘Yes,’ I say, and I mean it. ‘On the first day, he took me around Manchester, and it was magical. We went to all these cool places, he showed me his favourite restaurants. It was so nice to hang out with him again, you know?’
Ty is silent. Then, ‘Yeah I can see that.’ He pauses. ‘So, he treated you well.’
‘Honestly, nothing bad happened this weekend.’ I chew my lip, thinking of Keeley. ‘He has this new female friend though . . . And I think I’m a bit . . .’
‘Jealous?’ says Ty, when I don’t finish the sentence.
‘Is that so bad?’
‘It’s only human.’ He clears his throat. ‘I didn’t know you liked Ollie like that.’
Part of me wants to throw myself out of the moving car.
Do I deny it? Do I agree? Do I sit here in silence for the next two-hour car ride?
After moments that feel like hours, I come clean. ‘It’s been a long time building up. I don’t really know when it went from us being friends to me feeling like this.’
‘And he doesn’t know?’ says Ty.
‘I don’t think so. If he does, he’s not letting on. But I should probably tell him.’
‘Do you think he likes this other girl?’
‘Not sure,’ I reply, thinking back over the evening. ‘He was behaving really weird – one moment he was all over me, then all over her. Maybe that’s the way he is.’
‘Or maybe he’s trying to have it both ways,’ says Ty. ‘And leading you both on.’
‘You want to see the worst in him.’
‘And why would I want that, Selena?’
I flush, not wanting to voice my thoughts. Hidden looks and moments are one thing, but there’s no coming back from saying this out loud.
‘I know you’re trying to look out for me,’ I say quietly. ‘But you don’t know Ollie the way I do. He’s not the villain you think he is.’
‘Everyone is a hero in their own story,’ says Ty. ‘I’m sure Ollie doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong.’
‘But neither do I.’
Ty sighs. ‘Okay, Selena. Well, I’m here for you.’ My mouth feels dry, I can’t believe he’s this nice. He’s really watching out for me. He cares about me. I don’t really know how to put it into words.
We go back to sitting in silence, listening to my playlist.
‘When’s your birthday, anyway?’ I say.
‘Oh, it was last month,’ says Ty.
‘Wait, what?’ I say. ‘You turned eighteen and you didn’t tell me!’
‘Well, our friendship was . . . fraught.’
‘You mean we fought.’
‘Well, that too.’
‘You should have still told me,’ I say. I feel upset that he didn’t. I would want to celebrate with him, show him he does have a friend here.
‘Well, now you know. September seventeenth.’
‘I’ll memorise it for next year.’
He smiles. ‘I hope I can celebrate with you next year. When’s yours?’
‘In a few weeks – December first,’ I say. ‘Ollie and I were born really close together. It’s how our mums became friends, how we became friends.’
‘You two are really tight, huh?’
I shrug. It’s true. We are, or were.
‘What are you going to do for your birthday?’
‘I haven’t really thought—’ An idea strikes me. ‘Hey, I should host a party.’ It’s perfect!
‘Really?’
‘Yes! And I’ll invite Ollie, and then I can tell him how I feel.’
I blurt it out, and Ty is silent. Oops. I was so excited, and now I feel bad bringing it up.
I feel torn again; I want to be able to talk to Ty about everything, but there’s this unsaid undercurrent in our relationship.
One that makes it hard for me to talk to him about Ollie.
And I want Ty to know he matters to me too.
‘Sounds like a plan,’ he says after a moment.
We drive on for a bit longer in silence.
‘Ty,’ I say quietly, glancing at him. His eyes are on the road and it is really hard trying to work out what he’s thinking.
‘Yeah?’
‘I’m glad we’re friends,’ I say. And it’s true. He drove me all the way here and all the way back. He’s the one who’s listened to me rant about Ollie and my confusing feelings, with no judgement. He really cares for me, and I realise, I really care about him too.
I look at him, and for a brief second he catches my eye, and a jolt of electricity shoots down me. We both quickly turn away.
Immediately, the new Rose Conrad song comes on. New Day.
He smiles, the lyrics playing softly in the background.
‘I’m glad we’re friends too, Selena,’ he says softly. He shakes his head, as if snapping himself out of something. ‘But you do have suspect taste in friends.’
I laugh and reach over and turn up the music. As it pumps out, I think about how I always associate a Rose Conrad song with a particular person or moment, and how I had thought this song was all about Ollie.
But maybe it’s about Ty.