Fifty
And this winter
Feels like it’s been going on forever
Snow on my skin
Ice settling on my scars within
‘Winter’ from Dreamers
And the winner of the best interview is . . . Selena Pia,’ says Gareth.
On Friday afternoon, we’re at a writing staff meeting, with all of us standing up in a tiny conference room.
Everyone immediately starts clapping for me.
I feel shocked. I knew my article was good, but I didn’t know if it was good enough.
We read each other’s articles earlier today.
Tori interviewed a firefighter who had saved fifteen people from a beloved shop that had burnt down, and Doug had interviewed a local business owner who was going viral on TikTok.
Both were interesting, funny and moving, and I didn’t know what chance I had to beat them. I’ve been nervous all day. But it doesn’t matter. Because I won!
I catch Tori’s eye as I walk to the front. She gives me a nod.
‘Your article was really good,’ she whispers. ‘I accept defeat.’ I double take. That might be the nicest thing Tori has ever said to me.
‘Selena, your interview impressed us not only for the great quality of writing and storytelling, but also for its heart. It showed it’s really the ordinary people who make up this town, and how everyone’s stories are unique,’ says Gareth.
‘Your prize is that it’ll be published in tomorrow’s paper, and you’ll be covering the Rose Conrad concert for us. ’
He hands me a frame, which has the printed newspaper version of my article in it. Inserted is a picture of me and Mum that I had submitted.
‘Thank you, I don’t know what to say.’
‘You’ve got a bright future,’ says Gareth, shaking my hand. ‘I think your article was one of the best interviews I’ve ever read on this programme. I nearly cried at the end. Thank your mum for being so honest and sharing her story.’
‘I will,’ I say. ‘She’s going to be so pleased.’
‘And I’m sure you are pleased with your Rose Conrad tickets! I know you’re quite the fan.’
It’s true, but for me, the real prize was finding out so much about Mum. About the father I never knew, and still don’t really mind not knowing about. How our home came about. How we came about. And how, because Mum at her heart is such a survivor, she’ll be fine without me.
It’s time to go have some of my own adventures.
***
After telling Mum, I have to tell Kira and Faye.
‘Your girl has got two Rose Conrad tickets,’ I scream at the FaceTime to them. I’m lying on my bed, still in my work clothes.
‘I can’t believe you’re going to go,’ says Faye.
‘After all that stress of not getting tickets! And how much you bitched and moaned about it,’ says Kira.
‘You even wrote a Secret Sender article about it,’ says Faye.
‘Okay, okay, no need to bring up the past,’ I say. ‘The point is, I have the tickets now. For this weekend.’ I pause. ‘I think the hard question is, who am I going to take?’
‘Oh that’s obvious,’ says Kira.
‘Totally,’ says Faye.
I feel a sense of relief. ‘You guys have already decided between you? That’s good.’
‘Yeah,’ says Kira. ‘You’ve got to take Ty.’
‘Wait, what?’ I say. ‘You guys don’t want to go? Ty isn’t even speaking to me.’
‘We discussed it,’ says Faye, ‘and we thought, number one, if only one of us went it would be unfair to the other, plus we couldn’t decide between us, and two, you need to take Ty and tell him how you really feel. He loves Rose Conrad.’
‘And three, you will owe us big time for this!’ says Kira.
I would love to take Ty. But it feels like a betrayal to both of them.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes. Now stop asking us, otherwise we’ll change our minds and Faye and I will have to Hunger Games to the death for the second ticket! Trust me, it’s better this way,’ says Kira.
***
Once again, it didn’t feel right to tell Ty the news over text.
It had to be in person. Which is easier said than done when your neighbour is a hermit who’s avoiding you.
But the concert is tomorrow. I have to tell him today.
And as I arrive home from my final day at the Croydon Post, I see him outside, photographing the garden pond in the sunset.
I pull on my coat and race downstairs.
‘Ty!’ I yell, running up to the fence.
‘What’s happened?’ he says, worry on his face as he runs over to meet me.
Okay, in hindsight, legging it out of my house screaming his name might cause some worry.
‘I won,’ I say, grinning at him over the fence. ‘I won the competition.’
‘Holy shit,’ he says. ‘Who did you interview?’
‘Mum,’ I say simply. ‘And I discovered she’s even more badass than I thought.’
‘In that case, I need to read the article, because your mom already seemed like a badass!’ He smiles. ‘Well done, Selena.’ He scuffs his shoe on the ground. ‘I was afraid you wouldn’t want to talk to me any more, after what we said a few days ago.’
‘After you said you couldn’t be with me.’
‘Well yeah, that.’
I inhale, feeling the cool air fill my lungs. ‘Ty, I want you to come and see Rose Conrad with me.’
He looks at me with shock. ‘I was not expecting that,’ he says.
‘You’ve been on this journey with me since the start.
You’re the one who encouraged me to keep writing as the Secret Sender.
And you’re the one I want to be with all the time.
And I need to get that off my chest. I like you so much more than a friend.
And it might not work out in multiple ways, but it’s what I want. I want to be with you.’
He meets my eyes, and I can’t tell how he’s feeling.
‘Okay,’ he says.
‘Okay, what? Okay, I’ve heard you or okay, I’ll come with you to see Rose Conrad?’
‘I’ve heard you and yes to Rose Conrad.’ He grabs my hand over the fence and squeezes. ‘Thank you, Selena. And well done, Writer. I knew you could do it.’
Damn this boy can make my heart melt. Even when it’s zero degrees outside.