Fifty-Two
I exit stage left
My guitar’s taken off at my right
My feet tired and sore
But the magic of the night keeps me alight
It’s the end of the show
But it’s not the end of us
‘The End’ from The In-Between
Okay, there may have been other people who have taken this seriously,’ says Ty as we arrive at Wembley.
‘There’s too many people here!’
‘How do you know?’ says Ty. ‘You said you’ve not been to Wembley before. This stadium is very big.’
‘Look at the amount of people already queuing,’ I hiss.
And there in front of us, is a large queue of people in various costumes of floaty materials.
There must be enough material here to drape Buckingham Palace.
Rose Conrad is famous for her love of everything bohemian, and the fans have got the memo.
‘Oh good, the queue is moving,’ says Ty. ‘I still don’t understand why you British people love to queue so much.’
I stand there, watching the volume of people mass and move.
‘Come on,’ says Ty, grabbing my hand and pulling me forwards.
I feel Ty pull me through the crowd and up the stairs to the stadium. I see the back of his head, feel my hand in his. And I don’t want to let go. Instead I keep hold of him, as he leads us to the back of the queue for the entrance we need to go through.
The queue is moving forwards slowly, people chatting to each other eagerly.
I see girls dressed as different songs: strings of stars for ‘Under the Night Sky’, feathered dresses referencing the cover of ‘Jungle’, where Rose Conrad was dressed as a parrot.
Then there’s some memes, white T-shirts scribbled with her SNL sketch quotes.
And I feel this deep sense of belonging.
These are my people; I am meant to be here.
And I’m still holding Ty’s hand.
I don’t drop it as we start moving slowly forwards. And there’s no reason to keep holding it either; we both aren’t going to get separated from each other in this queue moving at a snail’s pace.
But he keeps holding my hand too.
I feel the electricity sing and spark between us. I wonder if he feels it too. There’s no denying, as much as I’ve tried denying, the connection between us.
I lean into him. He tenses briefly, then lets go of my hand. I start to pull myself away, but he swings his arm around my shoulder, pulling me in closer.
For a split second, I see us through other people’s eyes, looking like an ordinary couple standing here. This version of Ty and Selena. The ones who are happy and content and queuing to see their favourite artist. And maybe for one day, this is what we can be.
For a few minutes, we don’t say a word to each other, and I’m caught in this being the moment, and the worry it will disappear if we do or say anything else.
But then Ty leans down to me and points at a girl two rows up with a giant feather headdress and says, ‘If she’s stood in front of us I will have to rip that thing off her head. ’
I snort. ‘Not very considerate, is it? Plus, how many birds do you think died for it?’
‘I don’t think birds die when they lose feathers,’ says Ty, with a wry smile.
‘With the amount of feathers on that headdress, I wouldn’t be so sure!’
He laughs, and I’m looking up at him and laughing too, and his arm is still around me.
We chat our way through the queue, and my annoyance at the number of people ahead of us starts to disappear. The number of people is the reason Ty and I can spend time like this together.
At the front of the line, we break apart. I go and scan our tickets, and then after a security check, we are in.
‘Are you ready to get a prime spot?’ says Ty.
I roll my eyes. ‘I’ll take a good spot. Clearly I’m not as much of a superfan as I thought I was.’
He nudges me with his shoulder. ‘Hey, you deserve to be here. How many people here can say they got their tickets through talent and grit?’
We end up nowhere near the front, but we get a spot that I can still see the stage from. As people continue to pile in, I look around, at all of the people in tiny seats in the sky, and I feel very present here. Like I’m part of a mass, but I’m still at the centre of it all.
‘Okay,’ I say, looking at him. ‘We’re in, we’ve got time to kill. Will you now tell me what’s going on?’
‘I read your interview with your mum,’ he says, looking down at me.
‘And that’s what you’re being so weird about? My writing?’
‘No!’ he says. ‘It was great. One of the best interviews I’ve read.
Writer, you can write.’ He bites his lip.
‘No, what happened was, I read your article about your mum, and so much clicked for me when I read it. Your mum was brave, Selena. She did what she wanted to, because it was the right thing for her. She didn’t let anyone tell her what to do or not to do.
And yeah, it made life harder, but it was clearly worth it. ’
I see the nervousness in his eyes. ‘It really struck a nerve with you,’ I say softly.
‘It did. I’ve been telling you to go put yourself out there, and you have with your writing.
Meanwhile, I’ve been refusing to stand up to my dad because I was afraid.
But your article showed me it’s worth doing the scary thing if it’s the right thing.
And after you told me you wanted to be with me, well the truth is I want that too and I don’t want to fight it any more. So I did what had to be done.’
My heart is in my mouth.
‘So what did you do?’
‘I told Dad I wasn’t going back to the US, whether he liked it or not. That I’ve been accepted into some great universities here and I want to stay near Mum and Daze. There’s nothing left for me in the States.’ His hand grazes my cheek. ‘But there’re things for me here.’
‘What are you saying?’ I whisper.
‘Selena Pia,’ he says, touching a strand of my hair.
‘I think you’re brilliant, funny, smart, but yet have the ability to do some dumb things sometimes.
I think you’re one of the most human people I’ve ever met.
And I think it’s time to stop overthinking things.
’ He leans down and I look up at him, and it feels totally right.
I don’t know how this will turn out. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that we can’t be scared of doing things because we don’t know what will happen next.
‘We’ve got to try, right?’
He smiles at me, and in that moment all I see is those green-brown eyes before he closes the gap between us with a kiss.
We stand there for what feels like forever, until the crowd goes silent around us. We break away, turn towards the stage.
The lights go up. The show begins.
And the best night of my life so far starts.
But I know there might be better ones in the future.