Chapter 54
By the time I can even think of saying something, he’s gone again.
I blink down at my empty hands, then glance around. The music feels louder now, more chaotic. People are everywhere but I can’t see Morella. I don’t want to talk to Archer or Silas. Not like this. So I search for Morella instead.
I have circled the party twice and haven’t seen her. She wasn’t out front or in the hot tub. So I slip away and head upstairs.
Quietly, I weave through the crowd and up the stairs. I just need a minute to breathe. Morella’s room will be empty, quiet, and safe.
The music follows me up, but by the second floor it has dulled to a low, rhythmic pulse. Less like a party and more like a distant war drum. For a few seconds, I think I’ve found a quiet moment.
But then I hear something else. A sound sharp and raw, a gasp, high-pitched and unrestrained, followed by a low moan that makes my stomach twist with unease. Or maybe, something else. It’s coming from the end of the hall.
I should turn around. I should walk back down the stairs and drown myself in the crowd. But something pulls me forward, some mix of curiosity and dread and something darker I don’t want to name.
My feet carry me past Morella’s room, then further, to a cracked door where pale light spills into the hall. I wasn’t going to look. I told myself I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Inside, Maddison, is bent forward on the bed, entirely bare, her body jolting with every hard, punishing thrust from the man behind her. Her face is twisted in pleasure or pain, I can’t tell and her knuckles are white as she grips the comforter.
I watch as a large, veined hand slides up her side, fingers splaying wide just above her hip, and grips her hard and rough. She cries out again.
My eyes follow the arm up, over taut muscle and smooth skin, until they land on a pair of eyes that made everything inside me go still. My mouth goes dry and I swear my lungs have stopped working. Rafe is staring back at me.
He doesn’t stop or slow his pace. He just keeps driving into her with the kind of force that feels personal. His gaze never leaves mine.
His jaw clenches and his fingers dig deeper into Maddison’s waist, and she moans loudly. The sound grates on my nerves. I would like to believe the twitch in Rafe’s jaw means he agrees.
Soon his whole body shakes as he reaches his climax while still staring at me. His rhythm unrelenting until he finishes. Only then does my mind take control of my body again and I am able to move.
I take a step back, heart slamming against my ribs, my breath coming too shallow. I have to get away. I shouldn’t have seen that. He is going to kill me. Instead of being able to retreat, I back right into something solid.
“Did you like what you saw?” The voice rasps low and sharp, curling around me like smoke. Silas. I hadn’t even heard him come up the stairs. His hand wraps around my waist.
“I…I didn’t mean to,” I whisper, barely able to string the words together. “Rafe’s going to,”
“He’s going to what, Princess?” Silas murmurs, tilting his head so his breath traces the curve of my neck. His lips graze my skin, not quite a kiss.
“He’s going to kill me for that,” I manage to choke out, my voice so small it barely sounds like mine. It wasn’t just the invasion of privacy. It was that it was me. He can’t stand me. And now I’ve seen him like that.
But Silas only chuckles, the sound low and cruel and entirely amused. “Oh, baby girl,” he says, brushing my hair away from my neck with maddening gentleness. “Didn’t you see?”
I can’t answer. I don’t want to know.
“He came because of you.”
My whole body goes still.
“He’s been going non stop,” Silas continues, each word sliding over me like poison wrapped in silk. “Fucking her. Trying to chase something. And he didn’t find it until you showed up.”
I turn back toward the door without meaning to. Maddison is facing Rafe now, draping herself across his chest, rubbing slow circles over his skin with a grin like she had accomplished some great feat. Rafe isn’t even looking at her. His eyes are still on me.
I shake my head and whisper, “No.” I pull from his grip and head for the stairs, descending as fast as I can.
I reach the first floor, my blood rushing in my ears. Rafe said the most horrible things to me, and Silas thinks I had anything to do with what just happened? Absolutely not. I won’t let this happen. Archer and Silas are enough.
My throat tightens. Tears sting my eyes. Archer and Silas are enough. That doesn’t mean Rafe doesn’t mean something to me though. We won’t be together though, ever. I move to an unoccupied corner of the house and text Frank. I’m ready to go home.
After a awhile I receive a text that Frank is outside. I push off the wall and look towards the door but my way is blocked by a smirking Maddison. I roll my eyes and sigh. I’m really not in the mood for this. I move to walk past her but she side steps and blocks my path once again.
“What do you want Maddison?” I ask her.
“I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you weren’t too upset by the fact that Rafe chose me.” She flings her hair over her shoulder.
I look around to make sure people aren’t watching, especially not any of the guys. Silas and Archer are nearby but they are locked in conversation with some of the hockey guys.
“I really couldn’t care less, Maddison. Now please move.” I motion for her to move but she stands tall and rooted to the spot.
“Oh but I think you do care.” She tells me, she’s examining her nails, elbow resting on her arm that is draped across her mid section.
“I saw you and Rafe tonight. I saw him storm off after the little gift. I saw him when he yelled at you at the drink table. And then he came straight for me.” She's grinning wickedly like it was some perfect plan.
“Really I should be thanking you. It finally pushed him to me. And he loved every second of it.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. Silas’ words ring in my ears ‘He came because of you.’ But I push them away. No he didn’t. Maddison is right.
“I’m glad you’re happy.” I tell her. I can feel the tears pushing past my hold on them.
“Oh no. Is she going to cry?” Maddison leans forward and levels with me. “There’s no room for someone as weak as you here.” She deadpans. Her stare icy and lethal.
The tears roll down my cheeks as I hear footsteps come up beside me.
“What’s going on?” Silas asks but I turn away and rush out the front into the backseat of Frank's waiting car.
I curl into the corner of the back seat, knees pulled so tight to my chest it hurts, but I can’t uncurl. I can’t breathe right either. My throat keeps closing like it’s trying to choke me from the inside out. Every inhale is shallow, ragged and loud in my own ears, but it’s not enough.
Hot tears pour without stopping, slicking my cheeks, dripping down my neck, soaking the collar of my shirt. I press my forehead to the window, the glass cold against my burning skin. My heart hammering so fast I can’t separate one beat from the next.
I squeeze my eyes shut like that might turn it off, like maybe if I shrink small enough, I’ll disappear entirely. My fingers dig into my arms, nails biting through fabric into skin.
The creak of the door cuts through the noise in my head.
I stiffen and turn my face farther toward the window, shoulders hunched, trying to hide the mess of myself.
I drag in a shaky breath and lift my chin, willing it to stop.
Stop shaking, stop crying, stop betraying me.
My throat burns with the effort of swallowing it all down, of holding it in, of pretending I’m composed even though I feel anything but.
If I keep my face away. If I stay still… maybe whoever it is will just leave me be.
Fingers slide under my jaw. Rough and warm, they close around my chin, firm and unyielding. My breath catches as they turn my face, forcing me to look.
My eyes stay down for a moment then I look up to meet Archer's waiting eyes. I try to smile at him. A fragile, trembling thing, just a twitch at the corner of my mouth, as if to say I’m fine.
As if I could lie my way out of this moment and pretend I’m okay when everything inside me feels cracked wide open.
Archer doesn’t buy it. His expression is a storm. Fury sharp enough to cut, amber eyes locked on mine, mouth set in a hard line.
My tears finally slip free. He stares at me a moment longer. His nostrils flare and his hand drops. He leans back in his seat and turns his eyes to the ceiling of the car then yanks the handle open and flings the door wide.
“I’ll be right back.” He says through clenched teeth. The door slams behind him and he trudges back inside the house.