Chapter 1 #2
“Awesome,” I said as I stepped inside, slightly disappointed.
He’d barely glanced at me, and certainly hadn’t seemed to notice my new tight jeans or the cute top I’d bought especially for the occasion.
I followed him down the corridor to his living room and tried to stifle my sigh.
I was an idiot for feeling upset. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but I had hoped for more than I’d gotten.
But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, we were still spending the evening together.
“So I’m just going to go and finish up an email.” He gave me a grin as he stood in the doorway of the living room and ushered me in. “Have a seat and I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, okay.” I nodded and walked over to his couch and sat down. I looked at him for a few seconds and then back at my lap.
“Here’s the remote. You can watch some TV if you want.” He handed it to me and our fingers brushed for a few seconds, and I felt a secret thrill running through me. I looked up at him to see if he’d felt it too, but he didn’t even look at me.
“Oh yeah, you want something to drink?” He stopped and looked back at me, his eyes friendly, if nothing else, as he glanced at me. “Sorry, I’m a bad host sometimes.”
“I’m okay, thanks,” I said as I shook my head. “Plus, I know where the kitchen is, so I can help myself if I get thirsty.”
“Yeah, you can.” He laughed and nodded. “Just don’t go snooping.”
“What would I go snooping for?” I questioned him, slightly annoyed.
“Who knows why you and Mila like to snoop?”
“What are you afraid I’ll find?”
“Ha, you don’t want to know.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“I do want to know. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Big man stuff.” He winked at me.
“As opposed to little man stuff?” I tilted my head to the side.
“As opposed to little boy stuff.” He laughed. “I don’t know what a little man is.” He paused. “Well, I know what a little man could be, and I’m certainly not a little man.”
“Okay,” I said, my face turning red at his words. I was pretty sure I knew what he was alluding to and I couldn’t believe he’d said that to me.
“Sorry, that was inappropriate.” He laughed. “But yeah, help yourself to whatever you want.”
“I will.” I nodded. “Does that include all the naughty stuff I find as well?”
“I can hook you up with some condoms if you think you’ll be in need.” He stared at me then, his eyes curious as he gazed at me.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Good.” He nodded, more seriously this time, the smile on his face not as huge. “How is your dating life going, anyway?”
“Great,” I lied. “Almost too many men to keep up with.”
“So, no one special?” He glanced at me for a second and then looked over my body before looking back at my face.
“Nope.” I shook my head. Only you, in my dreams.
“Pity.” He grinned.
“What about you?” I asked, even though my stomach was in knots waiting for his answer.
“Dating is fine. No one special, but then I’m not looking for anyone special.” He laughed. “So I’m pretty cool with that.”
“Yeah.” I smiled at him, not sure if I was happy or sad at his words.
Of course I was happy that he didn’t have anyone special, but I was also sad that he didn’t want anyone special.
And I wanted to know what he meant by “dating was fine.” How many women was he dating?
And who were they and what did they look like and how often was he dating them and how much did he like them and, oh…
I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to know, but didn’t really want to know.
I was going to drive myself crazy just thinking about it.
“Lara?” He touched my shoulder and I looked up at him in surprise.
“Yeah?” I asked him, frowning.
“You seemed to space out. You okay?” He walked over and sat down on the couch.
“I’m fine.” I nodded. “I thought you needed to work.”
“It can wait.” He leaned back on the couch. “How are you feeling?”
“About what?” I gulped. Oh my God, did he know I was in love with him?
“Mila and Ryker,” he continued. “I’m sure you must be feeling sad now that Mila is spending so much time with Ryker.
I know you guys used to spend a lot of time together.
I mean, I know I barely see Ryker now and we used to spend a lot of time together.
So I can only imagine what it’s like for you and Mila, because you guys were joined at the hip. ”
“Oh, okay, yeah, it’s been hard—different.” I gave him a weak smile. “I mean, I’m so happy for them. I know Mila has wanted to be with Ryker for a long time, but now it’s almost like she’s replaced my friendship.”
“She could never replace your friendship,” Parker said. “You know that, right?”
“Well, yeah, but you know what I mean. Ryker is the first person she goes to now. A lot of our friendship was spent talking about Ryker and how much she loved him.” I laughed.
“And her being angsty about the relationship, but that’s changed now.
She has no need to be angsty about it. She has him and they’re happy and, well, it’s just different. ”
“Is that why you’ve been so spacey?” He looked at me in concern. “You really shouldn’t let it bother you so much.”
“That’s not why I’ve been spacey,” I said, then stopped.
“Well, kinda,” I lied. Better for him to think I was worried about my friendship with Mila than for him to know I was obsessed with thinking about him.
I definitely didn’t want him to know how much time he spent in my head and dreams. I knew it was almost obsessive and would most likely make him think I was a nutcase.
I mean, who stays in love with a man who barely knows she exists?
I was an idiot, and the more I thought about the actual situation, the more I knew that it wasn’t a healthy one to be in.
I just didn’t know how to get out of it.
“Well, you know that I . . .” Parker’s voice trailed off and he jumped up as the doorbell rang. “Hmm, saved by the bell. That must be them.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, though I was curious as to what he’d been about to say.
“We can continue this talk later, though, if you want to.” He looked down at me and gave me such a warm look that my heart melted into pieces.
“Sure,” I said and smiled up at him. How could I not love this man? He was so concerned for my feelings, even though he didn’t love me. God, I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to get over him.